A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Theres a man Ive liked for over 4 years now (I got talking to him more after I'd split up with my ex)and we became really flirty and really good friends wieh eachother (over the internet). Last year, we finally met up with eachother (3 times, he lives around 3 hours away) and we always acted like we were a couple. It was always perfect and I just loved being with him. He has such a romantic side, and my feelings have grown so strong for him (Ive told him how I feel). We were talking a few weeks ago about my move south (with a job I got accepted for, which would have been nearer him) and then he said that 'it was a shame' because he was moving north in the fall to go into the army, and if not the air force. As he was telling me this over the internet, I started to cry. I know he isnt going yet, but everyday, and every month that goes by the closer he is to going. I know he has his heart set on it, so I'm not going to change anything now. When he said it I was like "I dont have much luck with men do I :P" and he was like "Haha, obviously not!" I know we're not even together, but he's just become part of me in the past few years, and I love him to bits. I'm going to see him 3 more times (and we'll probs act all coupley again) but after that I have no idea. I'm not sure if thats a good idea or not, as Ill fall even more for him than I already do. Just thinking about him going makes me want to cry.I really dont know what to do, I guess I'll have to start getting over him, but Ill always be wondering 'what if' I think.. Oh Im just so confused, and I just dont know what to do.. oh I just needed to tell someone.Any advice?
View related questions:
flirt, my ex, split up, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (3 February 2009):
 I'm going to be contary and disagree with Emily. It's almost as if people have never have had relationships with people in the Forces before isnt it?? Yes it's hard and yes it's painful at times and scary and I know you don't want to hear this but your bond is true and you are on the cusp of making a giant mistake; both of you are.
The brutal truth is this; you are going to always wonder what if because you know that your about to throw away something wonderful. If you try with him and you really cant make it work with him being away then so be it; at least you will be able to look yourself in the mirror and say I tried and move on with your life. If you dont then a part of your life will always be lived in the 'what if' place.
I suggest that you use this last opportunities to see to him to take stock and make a serious descision about your furture and if you really want to throw this away so lightly. Sorry to be so frank, I wish you all the best whatever you decide to do :)x
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 February 2009):
It's really sad that you've met someone and you got so close to them but can't be with them.
But my advice is to try and start getting over him now.
Stop being online as much and arrange a big girly night out with your mates. Look around at all the other guys and see if you can feel any kind of attraction to them.
Also, remember that although you have spent a bit of time with him and chatted to him, it's a lot easier to appear perfect in small doses and online than he would if you were really together.
Try and tell yourself that although you have made him perfect and put him in a pedestal in your head, that doesn't mean he's REALLY like that.
I am not saying he is not a wonderful guy but it's easy to cross from meeting someone and adoring them, to IDOLISING them.
Get out and try and stop him from being the only thing in your head.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (3 February 2009):
 this is heart breaking and you need to discuss it with him, tell him how you feel about him moving however you need to make it clear that you arent trying to stop im from going.
if he doesnt feel as strongly as you do then maybe it would be a sign that you need to start moving on from this.
i hope it goes well for you, keep me updated.
(sorry for the short advice but i wouldnt know what to do in this situation either, i just felt the need to write back)
xx
...............................
|
