A
female
age
41-50,
*eltic_tiger
writes:I have recently met a lovely, caring man through a mutual friend. We have been seeing each other a lot, and have been out on what I see as dates, and have spent lots of time kissing and cuddling and watching movies. We have got touchy feely, and there is obviously a huge amount of chemistry between us as we have to fight to keep our hands off each other. I feel a lot for him on so many levels, and I do feel he is someone very special. I care about him but he says he is not ready for a serious relationship at the moment. He is having issues with work and came out of a long term relationship last autumn. He says he wants to get his head sorted and take some time for himself so that we are both strong and ready to date in a few months or so. He still wants to see me and we are great friends, but I don't know if I can be touchy feely with him but not be in a relationship. I want to be with him, not just friends. I don't know what to do, or where I stand, but I do not want to lose him from my life. I don't know what to do. Please can someone give me advice?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (4 February 2009):
I think he is doing the right thing if he has issues and he wants to get things straight.
But this is very dangerous as well. You may stray into being Friends With Benefits which NEVER NEVER works out well in situations like this. (read how many questions there are on here about this kind of relationship if you want proof.)
I think you have to take a strong position on this and tell him that you don't think you can just be his friend as you like him too much and it would be too painful. Tell him you can no longer see him until he is ready to be the boyfriend you want.
He says he wants a couple of months, but I bet once he misses you for a week then he will be back in touch and ready to commit to you and give it a try.
So many girls get BADLY hurt by doing the wrong thing in this situation so it's SO important to stay strong and stand your ground.
Good Luck!! xx
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