I sent a letter saying how I felt - but was it the right thing to do?
Q. I'm still in love with my ex. She wants us to remain friends so we have been hanging out and talking on the phone. We have a child together so we see each other almost every day. I feel like she has been stringing me along. I feel like I'm th...
A. 27 October 2008: Hiya,
I sympathise greatly with your position, and I admire the fact that even though you have broken up, you still see your child most days. It is also great to hear that you are remaining friends – if for nothing else than for the sake of your ... (read in full...)
He loves me but he is not passionate about me.
Q. I have been with this guy for a year and two month. I am completely in love with him. We have had a great relationship from the beginning and there have been no problems. We are open, communicative and the relationship itself is really healthy. He ...
A. 26 October 2008: Hiya,
Ok, this advice might not sound very positive – but I am just going to try to be realistic.
I don’t think this relationship is going to stay the course. It seems like it has moved into the friend zone… It is possible he still has feelin... (read in full...)
Spending money on a website just for sex with a stranger...wouldn't that make me no better than a person who hires prostitutes?
Q. Do I spend money on a website just for sex with a stranger? I found a site, which is set up for people to share exactly what they're looking for (sex wise) and they can browse members who they match with. A short time after joining, I got a...
A. 29 April 2008: Hi,
This is not the same as hiring prostitutes. It is just the site is bringing people together who want the same thing (sex). This is different to paying a woman directly for sex (who may be doing it involuntarily).
But this act will just pa... (read in full...)
10 years and the love has faded. Should we give up or carry on the relationship without intimacy?
Q. I have been in my relationship for 10 years, we get on great and he is my best friend but after 10 years neither of us is sure if we want to get married (which people keep asking us). Also, we very rarely kiss (properly) or have sex, it has never ...
A. 19 April 2008: Hiya,
I was in a similar situation – being with someone for 10 years and then breaking up with them (I was same age at the time too)… so I know what you are going through,
I’m afraid it looks like this relationship has run its course,
This ... (read in full...)
Some girls have said to my face I'm ugly. Will I ever have a gf?
Q. I find it difficult to be attracted to girls my own age .because some girls have said to my face im ugly. Now i find it so difficult to love myself. At one pointnice guy, but they say nice guys are not good looking. I once wanted to take my own ...
A. 18 November 2007: Hi,
That’s pretty tough going to hear something like that – no matter who it comes from. This is not the type of person you want to be with anyway.
I have heard that ‘nice guys don’t win’ comment lots of times, but there is no point trying to ... (read in full...)
I may be left behind, if I don't change the way I am.
Q. im 21, and been single for a year. this time last year my girlfriend of 4 years split up with me. i was totally heart broken and it took me months and months to get over. anyway, now i am over that and want to meet new girls. but, because i ...
A. 2 November 2007: Hi,
Maybe you arent the kind of guy who sleeps around. Maybe you just have to accept that you are one of those guys who are happier and better in a proper relationship?
Stop trying to be someone you're not - maybe that is part of what makes yo... (read in full...)
I've suffered a traumatic experience, now I've put on weight, how can I get myself back on track?
Q. hiya, I'm 17 and 6 months ago i was raped. I started eating loads and i have gained so much weight i use to be a size 10-12 and now im a 16-18. I hate my body so much and i have lost all my confidence, i was woundering if anyone can give me any advi...
A. 31 October 2007: Hi,
My deepest condolences for your experience. I am not qualified to help you deal with that particular situation.
I might be able to advise you regarding your weight problem though. This is probably going to sound silly and obvious at the s... (read in full...)
Should I give him an untimatum?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship since 5 years. He is American and I am Canadian. The first 2 years we spent lots of weekends together. We love each other and we fit perfectly well together. We spoke about getting married early in our ...
A. 21 October 2007: Hi,
I know I am going to get crucified as usual for answering like this but I can only be honest,
Why do you think you have a “relationship” with this person?
He is in the war 3 years, you haven’t seen him for a year – you e-mail him what se... (read in full...)
I help people as much as I can, but I am not happy--any advice?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 7 months tomorrow and I don't feel happy at all! Since I have been going out with my girlfriend she has cheated on me 3 times and I even caught her giving one of my "friends" a blowjob in a toilet of a discotech. ...
A. 2 July 2007: Hi,
You certainly need a new direction in your life,
Here goes...
1. First of all – dump that girlfriend. If you are 18-21 and 6 years older than her – does that mean she is 12-15 and giving your friends a blowjob… Is this really the kind of g... (read in full...)
We broke up and she'll take my calls, but not see me--what is up?
Q. Hi, Ladies, this is for you please! My ex and i are recently broken up. I called her a few times to invite her out, she took my calls, but didn't see me. She went on a trip last week, and came back last Tuesday. I phoned her then, left a message...
A. 1 July 2007: Hey, I know you said ‘Ladies’ – but I am going to give you some tough love from a guy’s perspective because you cant seem to see 2 inches in front of your face at the moment, you are so blinded by your love for your girlfriend. Forgive the tone ... (read in full...)
How do I get over someone I am in love with when I know that he obviously doesn't feel the same?
Q. How do I get over someone I am in love with when I know that he obviously doesn't feel the same. We have a kid together but we have been broken up since before he was born. I've been in lo with him for all of my adult life (9 yrs.). I'm tired of ...
A. 14 May 2007: Hi,
I wish I could hug you, I know how you feel,
I think the below advice is very good and I am going to remember it myself,
Life can be pretty hard sometimes – and unfortunately whether we deserve happiness or not has little bearing on wh... (read in full...)
I feel that maybe we have settled down too quickly, I want to meet new people and experience other relationships. What should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Six months ago we went through a rough patch and I moved back in with my parents (100 miles away). Not trying to sound like a victim here but I was treated pretty badly by my b/f prior to me moving out so ...
A. 24 April 2007: Hi,
You can’t tell me that you really do love him, but yet you want to meet other people. It doesn’t make sense. If you really love him, then you would not want to meet other people; no one else would be able to tempt you.
So I have to assume t... (read in full...)
She has told me she just wants to remain friends but I think I could really fall in love with her. Do I keep trying or move on?
Q. I am a 48 year old who is very interested in a 35 year old female. I have been divorced for 9 yrs and have been looking for a long time for a woman with just her qualities. I am very picky. I have asked her out and we went out twice. She now claims ...
A. 9 April 2007: Hi,
Although it saddens me to say it – I think you should move on,
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much you like another person – they have to like you just as much for a relationship to work,
You actually got to try it out with this girl – ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I are "on a break." Does that mean we're over?
Q. heya. Me and my boyfriend are on *a break* or *cooling things* for a while. I'm confused to what it all means... are we over? thank you lots xx...
A. 28 March 2007: Hi,
What this generally means is that the guy wants out of the relationship,
But rather than making a clean break – he wants to keep you at arms length in case things don’t quite work out for him,
So what he is now doing is seeing if he ca... (read in full...)
I Finally left my alcoholic Husband! Hes been begging me to go back saying he will change, What should I do!?
Q. I did it! I left my bitter alcoholic husband this past weekend. It's only been 2 days and he's already calling me constantly begging for forgiveness and saying that he'll do what ever it takes to get me and the kids back. I want to believe him, ...
A. 28 March 2007: Hi,
Yes it is going to be difficult, but you do not have to be hateful – there is no need to be confrontational,
But you have to be strong,
You have to show him that your mind is absolutely made up – that you are going to do this, no mat... (read in full...)
What is that average time that sex usually lasts?
Q. what is that average time sex usaully lasts? just wondering cos i've heard 15-25 mins... Me and my bf have been sleeping together for a while but he can never go longer then 5 minutes. I don't mind cos I know he cant help it..I was just wondering if ...
A. 27 March 2007: Well this makes me feel quite good about myself...
FIVE MINUTES - jeez guys show some control,
15- 20 mins should be the standard,
If you want him to last more than 5 then get him to stop after 4 minutes for a minute - that will take him dow... (read in full...)
I Finally left my alcoholic Husband! Hes been begging me to go back saying he will change, What should I do!?
Q. I did it! I left my bitter alcoholic husband this past weekend. It's only been 2 days and he's already calling me constantly begging for forgiveness and saying that he'll do what ever it takes to get me and the kids back. I want to believe him, ...
A. 27 March 2007: Apologies
"you cant save somebody who *ISN'T* willing to save himself"... (read in full...)
I Finally left my alcoholic Husband! Hes been begging me to go back saying he will change, What should I do!?
Q. I did it! I left my bitter alcoholic husband this past weekend. It's only been 2 days and he's already calling me constantly begging for forgiveness and saying that he'll do what ever it takes to get me and the kids back. I want to believe him, ...
A. 27 March 2007: Hi,
Him ringing and begging is a natural course of action – it was the only way he could respond – so don’t let those actions change your mind – they were inevitable,
If you were to get back with him now – he would certainly go back to his old ... (read in full...)
What to do about our living arrangements! What do I do?
Q. I'm madly in love with a woman that I've been in and out of a relationship with for almost 2 years now. We lived together with her 3 kids for a year, and things did not work out for us at that time, so I moved out and bought my own place. We didn't ...
A. 24 March 2007: Hey look – what choice do you have?
You have tried living without her but you cant – so stop holding onto that life – it does not make you happy,
Throw yourself into the decision you have made, go for it full steam – because it is going to requ... (read in full...)
He acts like nothing happens after sex. Does he like me? I really like him...
Q. there's this guy i really like i had a "thing" with. i wasn't into him at all when we first met, but after a friendly night out we ended up sleeeping together. the day after he acted like nothing had happened at all, so i did the same. we didn't ...
A. 24 March 2007: What should you do?
I wish I knew what you WANTED and then I could tell you for sure,
It is difficult to imagine that this guy sees you as anything other than sex every few weeks, he doesn’t appear to want a relationship at all from what you tel... (read in full...)
I lied that i slept with someone else so then he DID sleep with someone else!
Q. I told a terrible lie to my boyfriend of 5 years. We had got in a fight and he told me that he might want our relationship to be over so i told him he was free when i didnt mean it i then also told him the next day that i had slept with someone ...
A. 24 March 2007: I am sorry for being negative – and I am sure this is one of the reasons my ‘rating’ drops… but don’t you think you are a little old to be playing childish mind games?
When I was reading your article first, I thought it was by some 20 year old... (read in full...)
Huge trust problems with my partner. Can anyone advise me on what I should do?
Q. I really need an answer to this problem... I am a very honest and devoted person and seem to have alot of trust issues with my partner. He hides alot of things from me, and lies alot. He has kids by 3 different women which I went thr...
A. 24 March 2007: Well, I guess it depends on how you want to live your life…
There are two issues raised, which I don’t think are important, and one other issue which I think is VERY important.
Firstly – the porn. Sure he gets porn – most guys do. We are anima... (read in full...)
My son has been caught making fun of fat people. What can I do to make him stop this?
Q. I received a phone call off my son's PE teacher yesterday about his behaviour. My son is 15 years old. The PE teacher told me he and a gang of two other boys stripped a fat boy to his underwear and pushed him into the mud, then walked away la...
A. 24 March 2007: Yeah, to be honest – it sounds like you have done everything right – take away his luxuries, give him attention, and you are obviously a very conscientious person, and your son will have those qualities in him (perhaps yet to flourish)
I think pa... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to get some passion for life and stop being so lazy!!?
Q. I can’t stand being the man of the house or the mother hen anymore. I just can’t! I’m tired of working and making more money than my husband. I pay the bills, I do all the leagal stuff, I do the house work – I just don’t see my husband improving in ...
A. 21 March 2007: Hi,
It is going to be very difficult to teach this old dog new tricks…
You obviously married him for his looks and fitness, so at least he kept up his side of the bargain. Looks were obviously everything when you married him.
You thus have t... (read in full...)
Why does she keep embarrassing me?
Q. Why does she keep on embarrassing me? I am seeing this girl for the last year...we get on well and have many shared interests but.... When we are getting on at our best and most relaxed she will, when we go out, decide to pick some (usually ver...
A. 20 March 2007: Hi,
Your girlfriend is not as serious about this relationship as you are,
It appears to me as though she now may be just with you until something better comes along,
It is possible that she may be trying to make you jealous (also not go... (read in full...)
Can any one help on recurring dreams, or know where I can get help to interperate mine ?
Q. i need some views on a dream or if possible a site where I can get information on dreams? Perhaps someone can help with this on dearcupid? I keep having a reaccuring dream that I am walking normally then the walkway becomes a steep uphill a...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi,
I love interpreting dreams...
Dreams are your subconcious running through all the stuff that has gone on in your mind that day, stuff that is happening to you in your life,
(or if you have watched a film going to bed, it can take that shape ... (read in full...)
Why do I always take it to heart when something bad happens to someone?
Q. Why do I take it to my heart when something bad has happened to someone, like say a broken relationship due to sex or some other problem. I feel as if it is also going to happen to me some day and I have to think about it beforehand. So majority of ...
A. 17 March 2007: You are obviously a deep thinker – and I personally don’t see anything wrong with that as long as you channel your thoughts in a positive fashion.
If you look at a guy and think you may get hurt – then maybe your instinct is right,
But you... (read in full...)
If there really IS a God, why does he allow so much suffering?
Q. Do you believe in God? And if so why does he allow all the pain in the world. I’ve been brought up to believe in God and never doubt my belief. My family are not religious in the sense of going to church, my mother has always believed in God ...
A. 17 March 2007: My problem with the answers I am reading is that is just some kind of general acceptance that god exists.
Why do people not use their intelligence to question this?
There is no God.
If you accept this – then everything starts to mak... (read in full...)
How can I help her get over this fear?
Q. Ok im 17 and have been wioth my gf for 2 yrs we started sleeping together not long into our realationship but didn't havce sex. We've ben having sex fore about a yr now but she will never be totally naked with me. She says shes ashamed of what ...
A. 17 March 2007: I think you can actually be a bit more positive in what you say.
Instead of saying ‘it doesn’t bother me what you look like’,
Why don’t you try the approach of ‘you look great’,
Instead of focusing on her breasts, which she may be conscio... (read in full...)
Me and my fiance are stuck in an expensive rut!
Q. Hi, Im with my fiancee over a yr now and lately im beginning to get bored and fedup of the same routine of doing things.We are both in our early 30s, with good jobs and fell in love very quickly when we met.She has a habit of wanting to stay ...
A. 24 August 2006: Hi,
Something doesn’t seem right here to me...
You are behaving as if you are still in the courting stage of a relationship - spending loads of money, weekends away - but yet you are engaged to be married (?). There is something in her... (read in full...)
What wrong..he can't get erect to satisfy me? Is it me or all this porn he watched?
Q. Hi there, I have just started seeing someone who i really like. Last weekend we had sex for the first time at his place, it was great, although he didn't cum. We then drove back to mine, and altough we were really "into it", he wasn't errect. The ...
A. 22 August 2006: Hi,
I don’t like to comment on other people’s replies, but I just think that the anonymous reader below is giving a very dramatic answer to your question, totally disproportionate to the information you have given.
Probably most men look at... (read in full...)
I was clingy and paranoid so she ended it with me but she said there is a second chance in the future!
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me for being clingy and paranoid every now and then, but i've stopped being clingy and paranoid now. After that I asked my her for a second chance to prove myself to her and she said that she DOES believe in second ...
A. 22 August 2006: Weird, i just answered this in a seperate post and it appears at the top again here (??)
Here's the reply...
Hi,
Look you seem like a nice guy, but I am not going to tell you what you want to hear.
What I am going to do is give you an ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she doesn't love me the same way any more!
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 months and she says I've been clingy. This was my first real relationship so I did not know how to react sometimes. Lately she has not been picking up the phone until late at night around 9pm or so. I confront...
A. 21 August 2006: Hi,
Look you seem like a nice guy, but I am not going to tell you what you want to hear.
What I am going to do is give you an unbiased opinion based on the facts you have given me. This will be a ‘short-term’ pain, rather then ‘long term ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she doesn't love me the same way any more!
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 months and she says I've been clingy. This was my first real relationship so I did not know how to react sometimes. Lately she has not been picking up the phone until late at night around 9pm or so. I confront...
A. 20 August 2006: Hi,
I can appreciate that you are a little inexperienced with relationships, but it does sound that you are bordering on harassing the girl.
If she doesn’t want to talk to you (ie doesn’t answer the phone) then ringing again 20 mins later is on... (read in full...)
I'm a good looking girl (apparently). Problem is that the good looking guys are mean but the nice ones are ugly!
Q. Hi, im really stuck so would like some help. Guys say I am a very attractive girl and i get a lot of attention which is nice at times, the problem is the good looking guys that ask me out end up being really mean, and the nice guys are ugly. ...
A. 19 August 2006: Hi, being a guy I can pretty much say the same about girls – ie ones that cant rely on their looks have to rely on their personality, and tend to appreciate the company more so than girls who get guys coming onto them all the time.
It’s a shame yo... (read in full...)
Worried my carefully crafted platonic relationship may go critical, nuclear style!
Q. I have been struggling with inappropriate romantic feelings for a woman (I'll call her Jane) who is a classmate at university. The feelings are inappropriate because I love my wife and kid, are devoted to them, and have no desire to end my ...
A. 10 March 2006: Hi, I might be too late for this post but I wanted to chip in to say that you (being the person who asked the question) have given the best response yourself,
But just to say that one sentence really stuck out at me:
"I've had romantic fee... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your views on DearCupid.org
Q. Hi everyone Thought I would introduce myself. My name is Andrew and I'm the guy who runs this site... Yes, it is just a one-man-band! I'm looking for ideas on what new features to add to the site and want YOUR input. I am thinking of the ...
A. 8 March 2006: Hi Andrew
I would like to see better use of the ratings. Its looks as if some people are just clicking 'poor' answers to improve their own rankings (maybe only use members for rating, and they can only rate a response once). Also it would be good ... (read in full...)
My GF says our relationship is boring!
Q. Hey the other day me and my GF were watching tele and she turned and said to me "our relationship is getting boring feels like we've been married and had kids and stuff" i do not know what she means. yes i'm bored too, but i thought this was what it ...
A. 7 March 2006: Yeah well lets be honest, watching TV isnt very exciting is it? Havent you got any hobbies you can do? Go to the pub, the cinema, dancing, bowling, snooker, go out for dinner once in a while... Use your imagination... (read in full...)
Should I be rid of him? Or am I over-reacting?
Q. should i get rid of him? i think this guy is messing me around. he tells me first that he likes me and i like him too. so yesterday we get together and he tells me he wants a relationship. so i said yes and then he text me yesterday saying that he ...
A. 7 March 2006: I think you are over reacting (possibly on the verge of being a bit possesive)
Maybe you should have arranged a time?
You should play this very cool, he is just testing the waters, and if you are all possessive and clingy already he will ... (read in full...)
Any tips on talkin' dirty for a shy girl?
Q. hi, i want to talk dirty to my man while giving him head but i dont know what to say or how to say it , im a very shy person and during sex i just moan and tell him what i like and dislike but i want to give him a suprise with some dirty talk but i ...
A. 7 March 2006: Tell him how big his cock is, how much you love sucking it, that you want to repay it for how horny it makes you, then tell him you love the feel of his throbbing penis when he is coming in your mouth, and you cant wait to feel it again, and you are ... (read in full...)
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