A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok im 17 and have been wioth my gf for 2 yrs we started sleeping together not long into our realationship but didn't havce sex. We've ben having sex fore about a yr now but she will never be totally naked with me. She says shes ashamed of what shes looks like(her breasts)i admit they arent all tht big but i can't drill it into her ehad it doesn't bother me what she looks like. She's gorgous and she just can't see it. When ever wee have sex she always leaves her b bra or top on anfd whenever she gets changed she always takes her bra off after shes has her top on(night time) or when shes come out the bath or shower she won't let the towel go. Everytime i tell her i doesn't care how she looks she said of course you go your a lad all lads do which i surpose the majority of them do care how big women a5e but i don't i love her the way sheis. I have actually seen her naked on the top half once when shewas geting changed but she didn't know id seen her till after and was vseemed abit nervous. How can i get her to see that i love her the way she is and that looks arent everything. I really think she lacks confidence in these things and i want her to feel comfortable arpund me with and without clothes on, in every way. How can i help her get over this fear?
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female
reader, lamo +, writes (19 March 2007):
 just make sure she know you love her. dont froce her to take her top or bra off let her leave it on. my ex wanted me to take my top off i went mad at him he told me that he loves my curves i told him that i dont and went to sleep that was the end of it then about a month later he walk in on me gettin dressed and i was naked and he walk back out saying sorry didnt mean to i told him it dont matter and that he cud come in. give her time and dont make a big deal out of it
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): I can totally understand how your girlfriend feels. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and for the first year or so I was so self conscious about my stomach that I would let him touch/look anywhere but there.I agree with the previous answers. Try not to say "it doesnt matter what you look like", because in my head my boyfriend saying that he "didnt care what my stomach was like" was him agreeing that it was disgusting! (I know, us girls are weird..) Tell her she's beautiful and tell her what you love about her instead.Have you got anything maybe you were conscious ur girlfriend wouldnt like? I couldn't believe it when my boyfriend told me he felt nervous about me looking at his "not very manly" chest. I was like "why?! It's gorgeous!" and it kinda made me he might like my stomach even though I dont.Don't make it a bit thing, let her leave her bra on if she wants. She'll take it off eventually, I promise. Say when you saw her naked you thought "wow" and she's beautiful. Tell her you would love her to feel comfortable enough with you to take her top off but theres no pressure. She may well leave it on for a few months but she might surprise you one day and take it off :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): I agree, tell her she looks really sexy and reassure her a bit more. Also tell her that you like seeing her naked. Really go to town and say that she is being ridiculous always covering up. Tell her you love her and although you arent as shallow as to just like her for her looks, shes got the looks aswell as the rest of the package.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (17 March 2007):
 I think you can actually be a bit more positive in what you say.
Instead of saying ‘it doesn’t bother me what you look like’,
Why don’t you try the approach of ‘you look great’,
Instead of focusing on her breasts, which she may be conscious of – concentrate on complimenting her on her other qualities, her ass her legs, etc.
Eventually she will become confident enough to accept her own imperfections.
But you do have to keep saying it to her.
You know that phrase about – if enough people tell you have a tail – you will turn around and check – well keep telling her she is beautiful, and she will eventually believe you.
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