A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hiya, I'm 17 and 6 months ago i was raped. I started eating loads and i have gained so much weight i use to be a size 10-12 and now im a 16-18. I hate my body so much and i have lost all my confidence, i was woundering if anyone can give me any advice on how to lose the weight fast because I dont think i can handle being this big any more.
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female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 we all wish you the best ,but with time you will have confidence again we have all been betrayed by our freinds maybe not in the same way ,anyways goood luck and remember we will always be here ... bye XXX
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 You are most welcome hon. Keep your chin up and stay positive. You will cope and deal with your situation one day at the time. Ever read Footprints in the Sand...when I saw only one set of footprints I asked "Lord why did You leave me." He answered "I didn't leave you My child. It was then that I carried you."
Find yourself a copy of the beautiful poem and read it outloud. Let your ears hear and your eyes see what is written in your heart. Peace be with you and may you forever be blessed by the touch of his hand.
Blue_Angel0316
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey im the 17 year old girl who wrote this and i just thought id inform you all the boy who rapes me got proven GUILTY!!!! it was my best friend that did it to me and thats why i have NO confidence, just wanted to say thankz to everyone who has wrote back to me, you have given me a little bit of hope :)
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A
female
reader, lilgirly +, writes (31 October 2007):
am really very sorry:( sorry about your rape.. i think the best way to lose weight is lot of sports and healthy food and drinking a lot of water .... wish you all the best and please tell us what happens next and i wish you all the best .
good luck bye XXXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): im so sorry to hear that you were the victim of this appauling act. i hope you reported it to the police and im hoping that they have caught this monster. if you havent please report it now. you have done nothing wrong it was not your fault. the only reason i am asking is that the police should have put you in touch with support groups that can help you like haven or womens aid. they will offer you councilling to get over this and help you feel worthy as a beautiful lady again.
at the moment you are feeling worthless because some one has made you feel like this so you are fighting back the only way that you know how by over eating (some people take drugs or alcohol) because that is the only way to take some control in your life and you probably feel that as you are a larger lady the same thing wont happen again.
you need to take back that control so talking to someone who understands will help you to put things into perspective. do try and cut down on your food a little more and try exercising and you will feel that you are winning this battle but dont push yourself as you need time to heal. it wont be easy and you will have your bad days where you feel that you could give up but it will get easier and dont do the stupid weigh yourself all the time my advise to you would be to go by dress size at the moment until you are feeling a little more confident about yourself. do try joining a group as they are all there for the same reason but be gentle on yourself and take it steady. i think you will come through this in the end you seem like a fighter to me i hope this helps you in some small way take care hun with love xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): I wish i could give you a big hug right now, sorry to hear about the rape. Have you been along to have a word with your doctor about how you feel. Maybe you should, because i think you are in an aftershock period. I know cos i have been there. You just hate yourself. You have to try and put this rape into a cupboard in your mind and not let the rapist win. Not easy but it works. Then start to like yourself and the love will come next. When you have sorted your mind out then you will be able to start on your body. If you want to get in touch then please do so.
Take care and please do not ever blame yourself.
xx
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (31 October 2007):
I can say with all honesty that I truely do feel for you. I have been in your shoes. I too have been raped and is not a good feeling. It is terrifying. I care about you and the pain you are having to deal with. It is very difficult and yo mind is causing you to seek revenge. Your overeating is how you are dealing with the pain. I also am a binge eater so I know what that can do to you. It is hard to be overweight and to feel like you are no longer a pretty or desireble person. Forgive yourself hon.. Again IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT !!!
When such trauma happens many women begin to act with destructive behavior. They can't cope with what has happened to them so they turn their anger inward. Pray for God's strenght to see you through.
Now to address the weight loss. I just lost 47 lbs. I was dieting and walking. I have started feeling better generally and I am much more confident. When loosing weight hon start out with limiting your foods. Eat things you like just eat less and exercise. Walking is a good exercise. You will however have to walk a good bit daily. I would say start by the mile and go to two in a week or so..then three if you can do it..but at least go 1-2 and stay consistant. Eat right along with taking vitimans might help you. It did me.
Stay as active as possible and stay around positive people. Find a new hobby or visit friends. I sing and it helps me alot. What do I sing? Tenor....ten or twelve miles down the road sounds better...Or was it Solo? So low you ain't gotta hear me. *Smiles* Try to spend time doing something positive and happy. Walking is good for destressing. Find peace within your self and no that you are not alone for God walks with you always.
May your struggles be lifted and your heart be unburdened. May the Good Lord bless and keep you always is my prayer.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (31 October 2007):
Trauma can cause depression and sometimes it can be severe. Your binge eating could be related to the fact that when alot of women have this happen they think it is their fault and begin to hate themselves. IT ISN'T YOR FAULT!!!! No one had the right to violate you and you must not blame yourself. PLEASE seek professional help hon before the problem gets any worse.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (31 October 2007):
 Oh, by the way. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. It's only the fault of the person who committed the crime. Be strong, this experience does not at all make you a bad person. It will end up making you stronger because of your ability to overcome, and live a good life, all though there was someone who needs something cut off and fed to him.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (31 October 2007):
I'm sorry to hear about the rape. You should have never experienced something like that. My heart really goes out to everyone who has ever been through this kind of experience.
I hope you turned him in and justice was served, if you know who it was that committed this crime. Have you talked to parents or friends about this incident? It's nice to have a support system understanding and someone you can talk to about this.
Now I want you to become your own counselor. I want you to get yourself a piece of paper and write down every emotion you feel associated with what happened. Let it out as if you were yelling at the person who did this, telling him how what he did to you affected you.
I want you to then go through those emotions and re-read them to yourself, then I want you to forgive yourself for feeling feeling guilt or any emotion associated with your eating loads.
Let me tell you why you do that. Our brain has thousands of neuro transmitters. These shoot all information and store information and also associate pain and how we choose to deal with pain. When you were raped, your nt's got tossed around, in a way. This traumatic experience happened, that is confusing. You may know what you experienced and why it's wrong, but your brain just knows it hurt. It files that hurt, and your eating is the band-aid to cope. Once their is a void in a neuro transmitter, we have to fill that void, sometimes we do so with a positive action, and sometimes we do so with a negative action.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): Dear I'm very sorry about what happened to you. It must have been a terrible experience. You are facing an obssessive compulsion disorder with food now due to the traumatic experience you lived in your rape. It looks as if one thing has nothing to do with the other but they do. You must get into therapy to work this obssesion.
Often when humans face a traumatic experience they were not in control of they end up with obssesions to unconsciously try compensate and feel they are still in control. In this case you felt you have not control of your body, that's why you are getting fat. So you would feel you have control over it and feel less anxious.
Get Help. Take Care.
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A
male
reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (31 October 2007):
 Hi,
My deepest condolences for your experience. I am not qualified to help you deal with that particular situation.
I might be able to advise you regarding your weight problem though. This is probably going to sound silly and obvious at the same time but “how” you lose weight is by eating less and exercising more. It sounds like you are currently doing the opposite.
The problem then is not “how” but “how can you motivate yourself”.
Perhaps join weight-watchers – lots of people I know have great success with that. In fact In fact if you stick with them you can be pretty certain you will lose all the weight you want. I never hear anyone say anything bad about them.
It is a long term life change though – there is no quick fix to it. If you try a quick weight loss fad – your weight will quickly go back up again pretty soon afterwards.
Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (31 October 2007):
 Hello Anon.
I am sorry to hear that you have gone through this terrible event, at such a young age, my heart goes out to you, i do not know if you have seen a councilor, if not then that would be a good place to start.
the only way i now how to loose weight is to reduce the amount of food that you eat and join a fitness class or club, by doing this you will not only get fitter but you also will start to build your confidence, and maybe make a few friends on the way, if you do not feel like being in a large class, weight watchers is a smaller group that you could join, they are very good, do not go it alone you really need help and support at this stage, please take care of yourself i hope this will help you.
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A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Weight Watchers. Seriously. I lost 40 pounds, and they've helped me keep it off.
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