A
male
age
36-40,
*nonymous1234
writes:I have been in a relationship for 7 months tomorrow and I don't feel happy at all! Since I have been going out with my girlfriend she has cheated on me 3 times and I even caught her giving one of my "friends" a blowjob in a toilet of a discotech. After a lot of thinking everything over, I decided to forgive her and move on because I love her to bits. My family doesn't want anything to do with me because I say my opinion about them and that is because I help them all as much as I can 24/7 and yet I get no help in return when I need it, so they get upset when I tell them that I don't think that that is fair. I don't have any real friends I can call when I need help and the few times I have called some of them they have simply said "I don't have time now, mate". I am completely alone in this world and my girlfriend's parents don't like me either because I am 6 years older than her. So they decided that I am not allowed to see her as much as we want and then she has just taken the high road and said "ok, I will just go out with my friends", and to be honest I think she is still cheating on me. I help everyone I possibly can and it has become part of my life to do so, but when are people going to start helping me? My question is has anyone got any advice on how I get my life on a different track than what it has been my whole life so that I can start to be happy?
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blow-job, cheated on me, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (3 July 2007):
 STOP! Get out. Geeeesh. Find someone else, and i do agree because it does say your between 18 - 21 yeah? Find someone your own age then. Start hanging around with different people then, people who respect you alot more than these lot your hanging around with now.
A
male
reader, Shortacid  +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Dude, this girl doesn't respect you. Get out. You will be miserable till you do. Or in the mean time, charge your friends for the blowjobs they are getting. Its the only thing to do in that is productive in the relationship.Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up your friends. No chick is ever worth that. If she doesn't like them, she doesn't like a part of you. And if she doesn't respect the fact you have friends, she pretty much doesn't respect you.I was in a relationship almost like this (no BJ's in the club though) and in the end, almost lost my mates, but luckily they were better men than I.Being with this girl is selling yourself out, because you certainly buying in with all this bullshit. You have in ways made yourself the subordinate "bitch" in the relationship. From the "40 Yr. old virgin""Dude, you have to stop putting the pussy up on the pedestal." and its true.
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A
male
reader, Playgroundcops +, writes (2 July 2007):
Wait. Let me start over. Your profile thimg say's that you're between 18-21 and you state that she's 6 years younger than you. That would make her anywhere form 11 to 15 years old.
Here's your Whole problem. Stop dating kids.
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A
male
reader, Playgroundcops +, writes (2 July 2007):
My initial comment was going to be "Your an IDIOT" but I checked your age. Normal.
OK, MOVE ON. You are guilty of lying to yourself in believing that she is worth a relationship.
Damn... three times. I'm not even disgusted at her, you're the one who should be ashamed of yourself.
Grow some ball.
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A
male
reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Hi,
You certainly need a new direction in your life,
Here goes...
1. First of all – dump that girlfriend. If you are 18-21 and 6 years older than her – does that mean she is 12-15 and giving your friends a blowjob… Is this really the kind of girl you want to spend time with? Do NOT forgive her. She has absolutely NO respect for you or your feelings and I have absolutely no idea why the two of you are going out with each other. I am not an ‘ageist’, but at your age – 6 years is TOO much of a gap for me.
2. If you do not have a job – you need to get one. Get some self esteem. You will meet new people in your new job, and some of them might be nice people. It doesn’t seem like you have many nice people in your life right now so you need to do everything you can to start meeting new people. This also means getting involved in some hobbies – whatever is available in your area – anything from tennis club, or youth club or whatever. Anything that means you meet new people.
3. You need to cop on a little bit and grow up and start realising that this world is not full of nice people that you were taught as a child. People can be selfish, people can be greedy, there are people who do not care about you – only what you can give them. You need to realise this and start trying to see people for the kind of people they are. Start categorising people into ‘Nice’ and ‘Nasty’, and start increasing the percentage of ‘nice’ people in your life.
4. Helping people is great – it is a nice quality – but only help nice people. You have spent too much time helping nasty people. These types of people do not respect you for helping them. So don’t spend so much time helping them assuming they will return the favour. It doesn’t matter how much you help people - People will only help you if they are nice themselves.
In summary.
1. Dump that slut
2. Get a job, join a hobby club – bring some new people into your life
3. Grow up and cop on – the world is not a disney land cartoon
4. Don’t be such a doormat
Yes – I know this is not easy, and I am not suggesting it is,
I am just advising you that I think this is the course of action you need to take to get where you want to get to in life,
You will need all your strength, you have quite a journey ahead of you, and it could take a year – but it will all be worth it because in a year, you could:
1. Be with a new girlfriend your own age who respects you
2. Have a job which gives you self esteem and money to do fun things
3. Be more mature, and grown up – you are becoming a man at your age
4. Be respected by some new friends who help you because they are nice friends,
Best of luck
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A
female
reader, Panda +, writes (2 July 2007):
Hi There,This girl doesn't deserve you and there are people out there that will be perfect for you, Your still very young and shouldn't be tied down too early experience life first you need to realize like i have that you need to start looking out for number one, start by getting yourself out there and make new friends there are plenty out there.Don't let this girl make you feel like this you deserve better. Email me if you wanna chatPanda
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Hunni this girl cannot care for you if she has cheated on you 3 times in 7 months. I know that sounds harsh but you need to face the facts. And the fact you still think she's cheating....
It's easy for all us outsiders to say walk away and move on and it isn't easy but in the long run you'll be a lot happier. She definetly ISN'T worth loosing your family over.
You sound so unhappy and staying with her is only going to continue that. Walk away and enjoy time with your family and a lady may come along who will treat you with the respect you deserve!
xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Hi,
Couldnt agree with others more, you need to get out of that relationship. And giving a blow-*** in a night club (class).
Its no good doing things for people and expecting it back, you are setting yourself up for disapointment. Only do what you can spare time for, and have some time for yourself.
You sound at a really low point, and you need to get life back on track. Do you have any hobbies, or interests?. This could be a good start, and will get you meeting new people.
This girl is too young for you, and if you can find someone nearer to your age, it will make all the difference.
I hope you take all the advise, and move on. I think your life will get lots better. XXXX
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Sadly I suffer from the same thing although in mitigation I have friends and good ones at that. I cant help but agree with flower girl though in general. It seems to me that you are her older 'banker'ie the person who she can rely on to always be there. Shes probably said shes had feelings for you which in her own way she no doubt does.
However they are obviously not enough to sustain a monogamous relationship and that will probably eat you up inside if you carry on so it is best to get out for your own sake. Easier said than done I know....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): SWEETHEART,
Im going to be totaly honest with you, you dont need this girl in your life she is no good for you she is not faithfull there is no trust and to have caught her giving someone a b/j in a club hunny what does this tell you, im not suprised your not happy. You dont say if your working or at college? You need to get some sort of interest of your own that gets you out to meet people, there is nothing wrong with helping people but when they start to take the piss ( its true) They are... well she most def is..... Hunny you are worth so much more than this, you are probably a little depressed at the moment and feel like doing nothing, thats understanderble.. but you have to get yourself strong and you cant do that with your girlfriend dragging you down, you may not even realise this is whats happening but it is.. please look for an interest something to consentrate on other than her and do something for you, I really feel for you, you could do with a good mate right now, seriously i know you say you love her but beauty comes from within and if you look deep within do you see the beauty within her? you can get selfhelp books for confidence as i feel yours has been knocked on more that one occation, i do wish i could help more please dont think im being uncaring towards your g/friend but sweety she really isnt for you.... PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU AND SEEK SOME HELP/ADVISE WITH LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (2 July 2007):
 You have said she has treated on you three times and you have only been together seven months, and you are convinced she is still cheating.
This girl and from what you have said she is still very young is not ready to be in a relationship, and if you carry on in this relationship she is going to continue to drag you down, you seem to be lacking in alot of self confidence, to turn around and say you are completely alone in this world.
You are not alone no matter how much you feel as though you are.
If you keep trying to help people and be truthful with them and it gets thrown back in your face, then stop offering help as it does not mean you will not be there for them if they do need you.
I think you need to look at this so called relationship you are in and re-evaluate it, because it sounds as though it is not doing you any good, get out of it and concentrate on pleasing yourself for a while.
Take care.xx.
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