A
male
 ,
*ecentguy1
writes:Hi,Ladies, this is for you please! My ex and i are recently broken up. I called her a few times to invite her out, she took my calls, but didn't see me. She went on a trip last week, and came back last Tuesday.I phoned her then, left a message. Just a "hi, welcome back call me sometime". Well, it's Sunday, and no call.I'm okay with that. In fact, someone said to let her go and give her space, that since you've called her, she is expecting you'll call again. is this true? and if I don't call, will she start wondering what's going on with me and reach out to me? I know for a fact she still loves me, (5 years together). Also, this is curious and please help..when we split, I said, "do you want to take your bag with clothes and stuff? "she said at the time (1 mo. ago) no, leave it, that's fine. Well, it's still here. I know she loves that bag. Question: She must still know it's here right? And would she just not want it? She hasn't called or e-mailed me about picking it up. Why? If she was really over us, wouldn't she be like, I need my stuff?help!!
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female
reader, sunrise  +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Hi, sorry but as i haven't a clue why you broke up it's a bit tough for me to assume what your ex is thinking. But from what you've written i would say that she left you and her BAG because she doesn't need either, sorry to be so blunt but it's been a month she's not wanted to meet up and now hasn't answered your calls.
All i can advise is that you move on with your life the way she has, meet up with friends and start to enjoy yourself. If you do still need some response from her, write her a letter to explain how you feel and tel her that if she doesn't get back to you then you will understand and move on, but mean it. Life is to short, be honest with yourself, this is going nowhere. good luck.
A
male
reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (1 July 2007):
 Hey, I know you said ‘Ladies’ – but I am going to give you some tough love from a guy’s perspective because you cant seem to see 2 inches in front of your face at the moment, you are so blinded by your love for your girlfriend. Forgive the tone here, I am a little frustrated at what I see – but I have your best interests at heart, so keep that in mind. If I didn’t care about your situation, I just wouldn’t bother answering here.
When people come on to this site looking for advice, they really should make more of an effort to explain the situation in the proper amount of detail,
You spend half your question talking about a stupid bag – but you haven’t even explained why you broke up in the first place, that just makes me think that you really haven’t a clue about priorities,
You say that you know for a fact that she still loves you – how do you know this? Can you give us some evidence to back this up? The fact that you have broken up means that it is possible ONE of you doesn’t love the other one – and I think you certainly are still madly in love with her… Maybe she just loves you as a friend now after all these years. It can happen.
When she said ‘leave it’ regarding the bag – it is because it is just a stupid bag. You’re whole lives are going to be turned upside down after a break up, plans you may have had, marriage, kids, the place you share, all that stuff is up in the air – and here you are going on and on about a stupid bag, and now you have me doing it…
FORGET THE STUPID BAG
She has more important things to worry about – and YOU SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT THE SAME STUFF SHE IS,
i.e. where was your relationship going? Should you be more committed to it? Are you not giving her enough attention anymore? Has your sex life hit routine? Has she met someone else at work? And so on.
She isn’t contacting you because she wants time to think about whether she wants to be with you or not. So leave her alone to think. You called her already. She knows you did. If you keep pestering her, it is likely that this will only annoy her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Give her a chance to miss you. If she doesn’t miss you, then badgering her does not improve that situation.
So leave her think things through. Maybe give it another week or two, and if you must, try again only then. But my recommendation to you in the meantime is to get on with your life as best you can. Go out with your mates. Let her see what she is missing.
If you can – ask her to tell you what is wrong with the relationship. It seems as though you have very little insight – so you are going to need her to tell you what was wrong to make you break up in the first place.
Again, sorry about the tone – but sincerely – best of luck to you.
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