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I am single, a few relationships in my life as my flag suggests I live in merry ol' England.
My qualifications for my insight are experience, both in relationship and aiding friends and family in their own. I also have a rather unusual way of being blunt in situations which helps cut through potential and get direct to the heart of the situation allowing for clarity of answers.
As for what makes me tick that I keep to myself |
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My relative may pass away in the near future. I want to date, but should I delay and wait until I have work through my grief after my parent passes?
Q. Dear Cupid, It's looking likely I will have a parent pass away in the next few months after what has been a pretty tough time helping support them through their decline. I am single and would love to meet someone. I have had short term...
A. 19 March 2014: Greetings,
Death is a tricky little event to plan for.
I myself have been expecting to hear of my grandfather passing away (not that I am hoping he would) and each time I have visited the doctors have given him a different time frame, 2 months, ... (read in full...)
What kind of game is my ex playing? DId our kiss mean anything to hiim?
Q. So here's the story... meet my ex 4 years ago (2010), he broke up with me after 5 months (april to september) for his ex (who cheated on him before he met me) (Our relationship had everything one should have, trust, love, freedom etc) he then get...
A. 19 March 2014: Greetings OP,
You need to learn to put up the wall.
The guy is buttering you up and you are falling for it hook line & sinker. You want our help but you are doing only half a job on this. Block him on all forms of communication, even mobile. ... (read in full...)
What kind of game is my ex playing? DId our kiss mean anything to hiim?
Q. So here's the story... meet my ex 4 years ago (2010), he broke up with me after 5 months (april to september) for his ex (who cheated on him before he met me) (Our relationship had everything one should have, trust, love, freedom etc) he then get...
A. 18 March 2014: Greetings,
I must concur with my colleagues in this matter, you are as much to blame in all this as you don't seem to WANT to let go.
Your actions indicate a deeper desire that you hope he will leave his wife and mother of his first born to be wi... (read in full...)
My heart says fight. My head says let it go.
Q. So I've asked for advice on here before about this guy from work. I'm crazy about him, for the past 6 months all I've ever thought about was him. When I found out he was bi, I decided to tell him that I like him. He said I'm a great guy but he's ...
A. 17 March 2014: Greetings,
In most cases I would say use your head, not because the head is smarter but because the heart is not willing to let go of a good feeling.
You took your shot and he said he was interested in someone else.
Don't do as your heart sugges... (read in full...)
I have photo evidence of my girlfriend holding hands with another guy! Should I break things off?
Q. I am dating a girl that I dated a couple of years ago. We have been dating for almost a month, and i got a picture of her holding another guys hand. She says he was only rubbing his hand. My other friends that know her say that I should cut it o...
A. 13 March 2014: Greetings,
If she is denying simply holding hands then i would advise to be wary. Yes it might be acceptable but friends have been known to hold hands. The real issue is whether or not she respects you enough to be honest about it. The fact she said... (read in full...)
His new job isn't leaving much time for me...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 1/2 years. We don't live together as of yet. He's started working a new plumbing job and it's getting me down. There's only 4 guys working therefore my bf is on call 24/7. Prior to this job my bf was ...
A. 13 March 2014: Greetings, Firstly allow me to congratulate you on your patience in this matter. How long has he been working for this company? It would help to get an understanding of the situation more clearly however from what I know about this issues with this... (read in full...)
Said that she loves me but isn't in love with me -- could this change?
Q. I feel in a strange place at the moment. My girlfriend left me and I honestly thought she was the one. She said she loves me but is not in love with me? DO you think this could change over time? I have agreed to give her time and space to think bu...
A. 12 March 2014: Greetings,
I find myself agreeing with 'sageoldguy' and 'fatherly advice' in that the whole excuse of "she loves me but is not in love with me" is just that, an excuse and a poor one at that. It is merely a case that the feelings of excitement or '... (read in full...)
My crush invited me to her wedding!
Q. So I get emails from a girl who I used to hang out with a year ago (She knows I had feelings for her). I asked her whats new in her life since we had not been communicating for a while, and she says she is getting married and would like if I came ...
A. 12 March 2014: Greetings,
Personally I find such a request exceptionally cruel especially if she knew about your feelings for her. I would not go to the wedding as, if I were in your shoes I would be feeling crushed.
People always say weddings are such joyous e... (read in full...)
Need a place to turn in a marriage where I feel like I have no choice
Q. My stepdaughter has always been a source of problems, particularly when it comes to her relationship with her mother: whatever stepdaughter wants, stepdaughter gets. Over the near 17 years of my marriage I've been mostly able to afford these ext...
A. 12 March 2014: Greetings, Firstly I would have to ask about the state of the funds are they jointly supplied to and even then are you the main supplier of the household funds. If your wife does her fair share then it is up to her how much she can give her da... (read in full...)
Crush on a guy at work, but he says he isn't gay
Q. I've been single for the past 4 years and I've been very happy single. However, I've been having these feelings for another guy at work. I came out as gay just before we started working together so he knows I'm gay. I think about him all day, every ...
A. 12 March 2014: Greetings JT1993,
It is always harder when the person you like is someone at work, I dare say many of us (if not all) have had the same experience.
In terms of your question about whether to tell him or not well obviously that is up to you. My a... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife her husband is sleeping with my wife??
Q. My wife cheated on me a few times then suddenly moved out leaving me with my 2 daughters who are still in school. The anger was eating at me so bad that I went to a counselor to keep myself under control, I wanted to make my wife's life as miserabl...
A. 3 March 2014: Greetings, I must concur with HoneyPie, Is this act one of justice or vengence? Are you doing it to punish your wife out of her infidelity or to reveal such acts and bring them to light? If it is vengence then I would say control yourself, it c... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my close-minded mother?
Q. Hello, this may seem like a pathetic question...but how do I deal with my traditional close-minded mother? I am 20 and will be turning 21 soon, but I still live with my parents. I want to get an eyebrow piercing (I have wanted one since highscho...
A. 3 March 2014: Greetings, In a situation like this strength comes from respectful determination. Your parents might not approve but at least your father only voices his displeasure. I've had my two younger sisters go through this, belly button and lip piercing... (read in full...)
I'm falling for one of my boyfriend's friends and can't avoid him because they hang out together!
Q. Hello! I have been with my boyfriend now for 3 years, and usually we have been really happy with each other and get along well. We are not engaged, but we have lived together for about 2 years, so our relationship is pretty serious. Over the past...
A. 3 March 2014: Greetings,
My advice is control yourself.
Such feelings when provoked always lead to disaster.
You need to decide to stay with your bf or leave him.
Harsh I know but you have to control this. If you leave him, don't rush into his best friend's ar... (read in full...)
He said he's met someone else ...
Q. I'm sorry. I cant write all the details of this at the moment as I am so upset.My boyfriend has told me that he has met someone else. I cant understand it. He still seemed like he was in love with me when I last saw him on Tuesday. He went to his ...
A. 3 March 2014: Greetings,
Firstly I am sorry to hear of your woes.
Normally it isn't so hard to read these as they come through but even as an impartial reader I found this troubling to take it.
Secondly I know you are a strong individual so I know you'll get t... (read in full...)
Why would she deactivate her profile after mine?
Q. Dear Cupid, I know I'm young. I know I've got my whole life ahead of me. But I was with my on/off girlfriend for a couple of years. Rumour had it she cheated. The usual stuff I guess when you're young. Anyway, things got a little messy. W...
A. 28 February 2014: Greetings,
I believe you are over thinking this.
She is an ex, you wanted to walk away and get some closure. You were smart enough to block her so as not to be bothered by her but your curiosity is getting the better of you.
To be honest think... (read in full...)
Am I being unfair or irrational about his apparent lack of interest in making time for me?
Q. My LT bf works long hours, every week day and then has to do work from home at the weekend. As a result, we don't spend a huge amount of time together, usually 8.30/9-10.30 (bedtime) a few days a week and then a few hours on and off at weekend. I ...
A. 28 February 2014: Greetings,
Since I do not know the whole situation, concerning his friend and how much QUALITY time you spend.
Yes I do agree that this constant lifestyle is hard to work with. If your quality time with your bf is extremely rare then I don't bl... (read in full...)
Can I ever really trust her after I found out about her threesome?
Q. 6 months into our relationship my girlfriend went on holiday and I later found out that she had a threesome with two men she met in a nightclub while she was away. After she said it was just a crazy one off I forgave her. But I just can't get ...
A. 28 February 2014: Greetings, I'll make this plain 1.) She kept it secret form you - Indicates she knew how you'd react 2.) She told her friends in a positive way - Means she holds no remorse 3.) 6 months into the relationship and she feels you two aren't exclusi... (read in full...)
Dumping on a girlfriend for a man you hardly know!
Q. My american friend (girl) has been planning to come over for a ages and so I invited her to stay with me for a few nights. She's been texting me on her progress with planning her trip for months and I got my spare room ready for her, booked a ...
A. 28 February 2014: Greetings, This situation reeks of additional information. Sure wanting to meet international friends is nice but without prior warning of future events is rude indeed. I hope you provided either a curt but neutral reply or non at all. This Lon... (read in full...)
Why is it a big deal for my boyfriend and I to be 7 years apart?
Q. im 14 turning 15 and my lover has just turned 23 and we are pretty far apart in age but does it really matter? we do not have a sexual relationship and nobody except a close adult friend of mine knows, I feel the urge to tell my mother that im in ...
A. 28 February 2014: Greetings, I think the key thing here isn't the age difference between the two of you, it is YOUR age in this matter. You are far too young to be hanging around with a man who is more sexually aware of the facts. Yes you do say that you don't ha... (read in full...)
I feel intimidated and insecure due to boyfriend's female friends.
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for just under two years and we had a distant relationship for the majority of that time, although we lived within half an hour of each other for about six months. Just over a week ago we moved into a flat together. I ...
A. 27 February 2014: Greetings, I think the keyword here for him is BOUNDARIES, The Keyword for you is ACCEPTANCE. You need to accept that whilst he has female friends he chose you as a girlfriend, someone to be closer with and that hasn't changed. Your bf on the ... (read in full...)
I resent that his ex-wife expects me and my family to run errands for her!
Q. I am frustrated and unhappy and thinking of leaving my 3 year relationship. My live in divorced boyfriend's ex wife seems to think it is appropriate for everyone to run errands for her and thir child. She instructs him to tell me to pick up art ...
A. 27 February 2014: Greetings,
I must concur with HoneyPie,
Such a situation is recipe for disaster, firstly I would never agree to have an ex living with me if I was in a relationship for this very reason, it creates tension and drama.
You need to put your foot do... (read in full...)
If a young female sleeps around, does it change the views men have of them?
Q. Okay! I'd like some opinions on this please. I am a college student and I have a lot of female friends who are my age (17-18) who simply enjoy to have NSA sex, one night stands, and FWB's. ...
A. 26 February 2014: Greetings, As sad as it sounds the opinions of men for those types of women change radically. The more a women sleeps around the more men think they have an easy target (I know....this coming from a guy). Personally I've never found su... (read in full...)
Is he holding back because I walked away?
Q. Hi everybody! Basically I was with my boyfriend for 3 years and 9 months. Most of those years were amazing, but we got to the point where we spent every second together, neither of us went out or kept in touch with friends, if one of us did th...
A. 26 February 2014: Greetings,
This situation does indicate a need to protect oneself.
You say the guy seems guarded, is that something you feel for yourself or have others noticed?
When you walked away, was it agreed between the both of you? If not then he might cer... (read in full...)
She says she wishes she met me earlier.
Q. I have a female friend, She herself greets me and talks to me. She is in a relationship with a guy. But at times she says she wishes she should have met me earlier and that I'm very sweet. She really does try to make an interesting conversation ...
A. 25 February 2014: Greetings,
I find the words 'You're sweet' to be indication she finds you a good friend, nothing more.
The words friend-zone spring to mind but I won't let them linger.
Just accept her friendship and set your sights in a different direct... (read in full...)
We've been talking on the phone for 6 months, dating for 5 weeks, we are a perfect match and he has asked me to move in with him!
Q. I was speaking to a guy on the phone for about 6 months, he always asked me out on a date but going from his picture he wasn't my type. Then my car blew up and he said he knew someone who had a golf so 1 afternoon my mum and 1 went up to see it and ...
A. 25 February 2014: Greetings,
I must wonder what is the rush in this situation.
Dating 5 weeks and already asking to move in?
Was this a case of suggestion for the future or a request to move in asap?
If the latter I would honestly wonder why.
Be patience as ... (read in full...)
Missing absent Bf. Have feelings for unavailable new guy who I work with. What to do?
Q. Hello Aunts, I am so sad tonight. My boyfriend and I were together for two years. There were some problems with our relationship but overall it was a good one, a beautiful one. I never once doubted his love for me, and even our "fights" we...
A. 22 February 2014: Greetings,
I must concur with my learned aunts,
LDR are difficult to maintain and require the effort of both parties to flourish however, no matter what the excuse your partner seems unwilling to face this hard fact and instead day dreams meaning ... (read in full...)
Do I preserve my family or go with the love of my life?
Q. Hi all, im after some advice please , around 12 years ago i met the love of my life, we saw each other for a year and went our seperate ways due to seveveral miss understandings, weve always kept in contact losely but over the past year we got...
A. 22 February 2014: Greetings,
I hate to be blunt but I will be in this case.
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!
I don't care if you no longer love your wife, you grew together and raised a family therefore they require your attention.
Cheating in any form is inexcusable ... (read in full...)
Does having anal sex make me no longer a virgin?
Q. I pledged not to lose my virginity until marrige but it has been hard with my kind of personality seeing naked guys and me getting wet. All the thoughts about having sex. I have a guy in my house currently and he has been here for over a week. At ...
A. 22 February 2014: Greetings,
I've always found virginity especially in this case to be a debate of biological or ideological?
Let me example, do you equate virginity to never having sex (a.k.a ideological)or keeping your hymen intact (biological)
The choice is... (read in full...)
I have 2 ongoing crushes, but I want none. How do I sort this out?
Q. Dear Cupid Hey I'm 15 years old and still in high school and I have boy troubles. I have a crush on this boy (let's call him G) and I never felt this way about a guy before, because all the other guys in my school are jerks! The weird thing i...
A. 20 February 2014: Greetings, You, my dear lady, are facing a fairly common problem with youth growing up called puberty. You will naturally start to develop feelings for others at this time despite what you may or may not want. You say you have these crushes but d... (read in full...)
We hooked up, I fell for him and now he's dating someone else. I'm having a hard time hiding my feelings
Q. I need some advice on how to deal with a situation with a guy. I've got myself stuck. At the end of last year I had a fling with a boy who was part of my friendship group. He was much younger than me, so when it started I didn't take it seriousl...
A. 20 February 2014: Greetings again OP,
I am glad to hear that you've managed to find some form of stability in friends.
As for your situation with this guy and this new development I would avoid rushing into asking any questions. After all you don't want to be a... (read in full...)
Am I really gay or just scarred by women?
Q. Hey I'm Todd, I’ve never had any luck with women. Ever since I was a little boy girls never seemed to like me. Many girls seem to give the impression they like my looks although I’ve rarely ever heard anyone say it, besides my mom’s friends. N...
A. 19 February 2014: Greetings,
My friend what people forget is that there are more than just the three sexual orientations (single, gay & bi) there is infact one more type out there, asexuals.
Those are the kinds of people that don't desire sex.
As for your situati... (read in full...)
How do we get her to back off already? She's not really a mean, vindictive person but she is sure causing a lot of trouble!
Q. This sounds snotty, but there's this girl who is constantly trying to butt in to our group of friends even though we try to give her kind hints that she really just doesn't fit in. At first, we tried to give her a chance. She sat down with us...
A. 19 February 2014: Greetings, Such a complex little relationship you have here. It is hard to blame her naturally for her parents insecurities and she honestly is trying to reach out for those that can help her subconsciously. Ask yourself why you invited her int... (read in full...)
My parents or my boyfriend? I feel like my parents are making me choose!
Q. Hello, my name is Alexis and I have been dating my boyfriend for five years. My mom works in the same school that I go to and a year ago my boyfriend went into rehab for smoking weed and just doing stupid things that he shouldn't have done. During ...
A. 19 February 2014: Greetings, After reading your more than common situation the best advice I can give you is to centre yourself. You say you are being pulled between your love for your bf, who for all purposes seems to be improving, and your love for your famil... (read in full...)
How can we get past my inability to orgasm?
Q. I lost my virginity a little over a year ago to my boyfriend, and since then we've had sex at least 100 times. I love and enjoy being intimate with him in that way, however... I've never been able to achieve orgasm. I never worried too much...
A. 19 February 2014: Greetings,
I can't speak much as a guy but to be honest I would say speak to your doctor about this, such situations can't be common... (read in full...)
I cheated - is there any way to fix this?
Q. So I've been dating my boyfriend that's about 8 years older than me for over two years now. For the last six months or so, I feel like our relationship has been quite stale and stagnate. I have learned to accept this because he is in his 30s and I'm ...
A. 19 February 2014: Greetings, There is always an excuse for cheating from what I've seen in life however the worst one is the excuse of alcohol, almost every time it is said that if they weren't drunk it would never happen yet no-one learns from this. Alcohol i... (read in full...)
Did I scare her off when I confessed she was my first kiss?
Q. So, I'm a 19 YOM and I went on my first legitimate date on Friday. Was girl I'd known for a while, thought she was cute, just never thought I'd date her. Anyways, I ask her out last minute, we go out and have a great time. She seemed to have a great ...
A. 19 February 2014: Greetings,
If you truly scared her off by being your first kiss then I would say there are something she isn't tell you. You did nothing wrong, after all there is and will be a first for everything won't there.
I would give the space, wait a we... (read in full...)
How can he love me and want to share me?
Q. I have met a man who seems wonderful in every way. We have an incredible connection on so many levels yet I have a question. He has said to me that if I feel the desire to have sex with another man in his presence he is ok with that. Even turned on ...
A. 18 February 2014: Greetings, A situation as tough as this I would think that such a 'permission' would indicate that either he feels he doesn't want to pressure you and give you your freedom or the fact he then isn't tied down himself. If you feel uncomfortable... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to accept an expensive gift from my male gay best friend? I think it's made my boyfriend jealous or uncomfortable.
Q. My gay male best friend whom I have known for a year recently took me out for my birthday. He took me to a restaurant that neither my boyfriend and I can afford, and also gifted me a Burberry scarf ($400 value). I had already known which ...
A. 17 February 2014: Greetings, I would say that for a boyfriend to hear about you being taken to somewhere he couldn't afford and being given something he couldn't acquire would be a sting to him. After all I would have to question why your gay best friend felt it ... (read in full...)
Selfish in-laws and husband's a pushover with them. How can I speak to him about this?
Q. Thank you fir reading in advance. Sorry I know it is long. Me and my partner have been together for 4 years and have 2 children together, the youngest of which is 6 weeks. My partners family have not seen our youngest yet as they all live in...
A. 17 February 2014: Greetings, No you aren't wrong for thinking this, my own parents had issues with their grandparents on my father's side and things grew ugly. The one thing I can say is never bottle this up or else you'll end up saying something you'll regret. ... (read in full...)
Sex with my best friend - has it ruined our relationship?
Q. I have a male best friend who I have known for about 5 years. We hang out all the time and love joking around. When we go out drinking we sometimes sleep over each others houses and nothing has ever happened between us, apart from one night we ended ...
A. 17 February 2014: Greetings, As we all know alcohol lowers inhibitions, thereby lowering the masks/defenses we put up. I don't fully believe it when I hear people getting sexual and then saying he/she isn't my type, especially under the influence of alcohol, I ... (read in full...)
Crush on a guy at work, but he says he isn't gay
Q. I've been single for the past 4 years and I've been very happy single. However, I've been having these feelings for another guy at work. I came out as gay just before we started working together so he knows I'm gay. I think about him all day, every ...
A. 10 February 2014: Greetings, A situation as delicate as this needs to be treated with care. We often than not do not realize how we act around others and his actions, whilst considered gay by others, could be considered normal to him. Labeling him will not hel... (read in full...)
We hooked up, I fell for him and now he's dating someone else. I'm having a hard time hiding my feelings
Q. I need some advice on how to deal with a situation with a guy. I've got myself stuck. At the end of last year I had a fling with a boy who was part of my friendship group. He was much younger than me, so when it started I didn't take it seriousl...
A. 27 January 2014: Greetings,
After careful consideration about your situation I must agree with the other that have replied to this.
Your situation is made worse because you are bottling it up.
You pretend around others that you are stronger than this and you hav... (read in full...)
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