A
male
age
30-35,
*t1993
writes:So I've asked for advice on here before about this guy from work. I'm crazy about him, for the past 6 months all I've ever thought about was him. When I found out he was bi, I decided to tell him that I like him. He said I'm a great guy but he's talking to someone else who he likes. This is the first time I have ever felt this much for anyone, it broke my heart. I really thought he liked me too and I feel like such an idiot because I still think he's perfect. Two of my mates have advised me to get over him and move on. Two other mates have advised me to fight for him if I care this much about him. My heart says fight for him. My head says I should maybe let him go if he's happy with this other guy. What should I do?
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2014): Listen to your head.
Why are you "fighting" for someone who told you he is interested in someone else?
You're not listening to your heart, you're listening to your ego. "Mr. Ego" doesn't want to take "no" for an answer, and feels offended by the rejection. This could get touchy. He's no random guy you're crushing on. He's a co-worker. If you get too pushy, you'll create tension at your workplace.
Your job is the last place you need to make people feel uncomfortable; because it could place your employment in jeopardy.
It makes more sense to want someone who wants you equally. Not prefer someone else over you. He has been so honest as to tell you so.
I'm gay also. Not some straight guy telling you to run into a wall. I know how it is to crush for a long-time; maybe be lead-on by someone flattered by the attention. He has an ego also, and it's nice knowing another good-looking and interesting guy is attracted enough to say so.
However; he was a gentlemen about it, and was totally straight-up with you. Like me; he too, may feel it's not particularly wise to try to date people on the job. It gets awkward when things don't workout as hoped. Even worse; if they go entirely wrong. He's not that into you, or you wouldn't have to "fight" for his attention.
It's best to let logic and common-sense handle this one. Your feelings are at stake here. It doesn't make sense to jeopardize them by making a fool of yourself forcing them on someone who has clearly said "no thank you."
Perhaps directly and rudely rejecting you might get the point across better. Is that necessary?
A
male
reader, DragonMan +, writes (17 March 2014):
 Greetings,
In most cases I would say use your head, not because the head is smarter but because the heart is not willing to let go of a good feeling.
You took your shot and he said he was interested in someone else.
Don't do as your heart suggests and hold out for hope.
Such things lead to loss of opportunity.
...............................
A
male
reader, jc2008 +, writes (17 March 2014):
I agree, all you are going to get is hurt (sounds like you are already) and if we tell you what you want to hear that you might be able to make him like you then we will only make the situation worse. I would keep my distance from him and start dating other guys who do like you.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2014): Head mate, follow yer head on this one.
...............................
|
