A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I get emails from a girl who I used to hang out with a year ago (She knows I had feelings for her). I asked her whats new in her life since we had not been communicating for a while, and she says she is getting married and would like if I came to the wedding. Not sure what this means... its seems weird considering we stopped speaking a year ago. Not sure how to respond to her, have'nt really been in a situation like this before.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 March 2014):
 She's excited about getting married and is forgetting you have a mad crush on her.
It's not meant to be cruel or rub it in your face, she probably always considered you a nice guy and a friend and now that you are in touch just wants to share this day with you as a friend.
If it's going to hurt you or you feel weird, decline the invite and think no more about it... if you think you can manage a smile and be truly happy for her, then go, eat drink and be merry.
signed,
an auntie who has had 4 weddings and gets the whole happy excited bride thing...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2014): Don't go to the wedding. She's toying with your feelings, and testing to see how much you'll care. Just lie and say you have another wedding to go to.. a relative or such.. then never respond to her again, as though you forgot she ever contacted you again. She might try to continue the virus by sending pictures or updates about the wedding, or her spouse, but don't reciprocate. Let her be the one to take the emotional fall she thought she'd place on you.
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A
male
reader, DragonMan  +, writes (12 March 2014):
 Greetings,
Personally I find such a request exceptionally cruel especially if she knew about your feelings for her. I would not go to the wedding as, if I were in your shoes I would be feeling crushed.
People always say weddings are such joyous events but I've found them to be a turmoil of emotions personally from not just the bride and groom but all the guests.
If you are not sure about your capability to handle your emotions at this time then don't test your luck or you may end up doing something stupid
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2014): don't go. It doesn't seem like you two are close friends or anything. I think she invited you mainly to be polite. Also, if she's planning a big wedding, she's probably inviting basically everyone she talks to. If she didn't send you a formal invite, you can be pretty sure she didn't even plan to invite you until she happened to talk to you via email. So you shouldn't feel bad about politely declining.
I also think you should quit communications with her. Again, it doesn't seem like you two have a friendship, so what's the point? You're only going to hear endless things from her about her happy marriage and etc.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (11 March 2014):
 I think she is communicating that she wants to be surrounded by people she likes at her wedding. She likes you, but she is not in love with you. She does not have a crush on you. But perhaps was flattered that you liked her.
And she is in love and wants to share her joy.
Weddings are Best place to meet a nice girl. She may even have a nice girl in mind for you.
Go to the wedding. Enjoy the wedding and watch out: You may just meet a girl at the wedding, where there is mutual attraction. Once you receive the invitation in the post (I am assuming her invitation was genuine) then communicate your acceptance to the address supplied.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (11 March 2014):
 If you are no longer speaking and you have gotten over the crush then I don't see any reason why you should have to go to her wedding, unless you just want to go out of curiosity.
She's a little cruel to invite you if she knew you had strong feelings for her, so if you don't want to go, just say you have other plans for that day.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 March 2014):
 She was being unnecessarily polite and sympathetic....
What you do is say, "Thanks for asking me to your wedding, but I think I'd like to pass...."
Then you leave her alone... FOREVER!!!!
Good luck...
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