A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My LT bf works long hours, every week day and then has to do work from home at the weekend. As a result, we don't spend a huge amount of time together, usually 8.30/9-10.30 (bedtime) a few days a week and then a few hours on and off at weekend. I have learned to get used to this as it has been going on for some time and I respect that he wants to work hard to progress in his job. However, the problem I am having recently is that I feel he's not actively making time for me anymore. We had planned a cinema date the other night for after his work day (roughly 8pm) but he said he had a lot to do and cancelled. I was ok with it and didn't' make a big deal out of it. However, the VERY next day his friend asked him to play badminton with him after work and so he went and did that. Leaving me feeling completely hurt that he can make time for that friend but not for me. I have not said anything but it will be difficult to hide my emotions because I wear my heart on my sleeve. Am I being unfair or irrational? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 March 2014):
 Yes, I'd say so.A few days during the week and a few hours on weekends means most of his free time is spent with you. That leaves little to no time for anyone or anything else. I think the problem is you are too dependant on him. He's out there achieving his goals while you seem to have very little going on in your own life that doesn't revolve around him. If you don't channel some of that energy into something rewarding for yourself he's going to outgrow you and move on.He needs space and you need goals and interests of your own.
A
male
reader, DragonMan +, writes (28 February 2014):
 Greetings,
Since I do not know the whole situation, concerning his friend and how much QUALITY time you spend.
Yes I do agree that this constant lifestyle is hard to work with. If your quality time with your bf is extremely rare then I don't blame you for feeling this way.
You need to re-evaluate what you want from this relationship and talk to him about it.
If he is determined to work more for his career then you need to make a decision for yourself
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2014): Wow, I'm hoping that in the future his time will free up a little for you, because the tendency is to spend less time concentrating on each other the longer you've been together. You have a need and that need is to feel that he's giving you the love and attention you need. If you aren't getting that then you're going to begin to feel unsatisfied in the relationship. If you can I'd maybe have a talk to him, don't leave it too long or you might get to the stage where you begin to resent his making time for work and not you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2014): If this is the first time that he's chosen to spend time with someone other than you, then yes, you are being unfair and irrational.
You describe a man who gets precious little free time. Occasionally he may want to spend time with a friend other than you. It's human nature.
If it's a pattern and his lifestyle is not giving you what you need, then perhaps you should reconsider this relationship and find someone who can invest the proper amount of time.
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