A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:(Sorry, not a relationship question!)My mother's friend are the epitome of proper-ness. One in particular looks down on everything. For example, rock music. His two nine-year-old sons play in the same youth orchestra (I'm 17, btw) as me. At rehearsal, he gives my friend and I a look and sends out a vibe like "you-are-such-a-freak" and whispers to other parents. He does the same thing to other players who don't--for lack of a better term--church clothing. Today he and his sons came over dinner. Yay! Not. It just so happened that two of my friends were over. We were just hanging out, playing video games and listening to music in the family room. Nothing too horrible, right? When my mother opened the door for them, he look at us and didn't even tried to hide it when he told my mother that "boys and girls shouldn't be in the same room alone." He and my parents were in the kitchen then he came downstairs (the kitchen is upstairs, btw) and rudely told us to turn the noise down. Yes, I do admit that you can hear the music in the kitchen at that particular volume, but not by very much. It's like a whisper (if that makes sense). Anyway, during dinner his kids stared (more like glared!) at my friends and I all throughout it. How should I react to this? Do I really have to change the way I act when they're over?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 December 2009):
The fact that he turned round and told your mother how to raise her daughter in front of a crowd of people says to me that this guy is not worth your time worrying about.
Talk to your mum and ask her why she continues to be friends with someone who is so judgemental and rude to her.
If your mum has good reason to want to look good to this guy then yes, play nice and be boring when ever he is around. If not then be polite but be yourself.
Don't give him ammo but don't feel you should change.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, Dazed~Confused  +, writes (15 December 2009):
 The way I look at it is that he is overstepping his bounds here. Yes, he is an adult, and therefore you owe him respect, and it seems to me that you have done nothing to suggest otherwise.
However, he is not your father. He has no say in how you dress or what music you listen to. As long as your parents are ok with what you are doing, then that is all you have to worry about.
I think it was incredibly rude of him to come into your house and tell you how to behave. I think it showed a lack of respect not only for you, but for your parents as it suggests that they don't know how to properly raise their own child.
If you are really concerned about it, talk to your mom and dad. In the mean time, just continue to be polite in his presence. It is not is place to judge what other ppl do....and clothes, the type of music you listen to, etc are not ways to judge a person's character. The fact that he does so says more about his character than anything else.
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