A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have had an intimate relationship with an older guy for 3 years, mind you, he has a girlfriend. I kept thinking he would break up with her and be with me. Last week he told me he was getting married, that he wanted to stop seeing me, I said my goodbyes. Yesterday, he texed me that he wanted to take me to a sex club. What should I say to this man?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): sex club? he may not want you in his life but he knows who to run to for sex. babes, put a lock and key down there. only open up to single unattached men. will save you so much of energy.
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (19 January 2010):
 He has made his decision, ..he did not choose you - end of story - at least it should be if you have any self respect!
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (19 January 2010):
Honestly it sounds as if this guy never saw you for anything other than physical relations. You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, Dazed~Confused  +, writes (19 January 2010):
 WALK AWAY!
This guy does not respect you or his soon to be wife!
You weren't good enough to date, or to marry, but he wants to take you to a sex clud?!?
If you go, if you continue to have contact with him, he is going to continue to use you.
You deserve to find someone who will put you first. Who will want more from you than sex. You're still young, don't keep messing around with him b/c one day you will wake up and realize that you are stuck and he has moved on with his life.
You deserve better than that.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (19 January 2010):
 I'm wondering if this is his answer to the bachelor party, or one last fling. If that is the case it would be better for him to have it with someone he is not attached to. The classic form for this advice is, "if you want closure, start with your legs". Same goes for you, you have said your good byes. If you go back for one more time it will just reopen the whole thing. You should not reply to the text. That is the No contact rule, the best way for you to get over him.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): i wouldnt do it... hes using you are ur feelings are going get even more hurt than they pobably already are. if anything you shud tell his soon to be wife wot a scumbag he is. she wud be devastated to find out that her soon to be husband was a cheating rat bag. that relationship is based on lies as much as this three year relationship he was supposed to be having with you. tell him no and to that you wish to speak to him anymore you can someone so so so much better than this man. one that wont cheat on you one that will love you instead of use you. good luck
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (19 January 2010):
 Date another man now. Say yes to the sex club. Go to the sex club with your date. Introduce your older guy to your "fiancee", which is your guy you just dated.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): Well it's obvious you're just a booty call!! I'm sorry for being so plain and just putting it out there. You need to tell him no that you're not gunna play that game anymore. That you were really looking for a serious relationship but now that you know that he's not, you don't want anything to do with him. I'm sorry you've been put through this but you really should never get with a man who has a girlfriend. Imagine how you would feel if you were her. That's kind of messed up.
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