A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have this guy friend who I'm pretty close with and we always find ourselves texting each other hours at a time. The problem is his girlfriend texted me last week not asking me but telling me that I'm not allowed to text him... at all. Is she overreacting or did I do something wrong? I mean all we do is text each other. Yes, it is a lot, but I thought it was harmless since it was only texting without things like phone calls or hanging out with one another alone. Some of my friends said that she is jealous of how close we are. What should I do? Should I continue texting him anyways even though she doesn't want me to?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): His girlfriend isnt unreasonable asking you to back off. You say you are close to him, text for hours....about what? Hes taken and you need to find someone of your own to be close to. Best leave them in peace.
A
female
reader, BadderzGirl  +, writes (4 December 2009):
talk to your friend about what his girlfriend said, bet you anything that he'll take your side in all of this. Seriously, I have 4 brothers (kill me now!) and this kind of thing has come up in numerous conversations, and they have always taken the friend's side in all this because each and every one of them thought that their girlfriend was being silly and overreacting.Dont worry about it, she just feels threatenedxoxo
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A
female
reader, Dazed~Confused  +, writes (3 December 2009):
 This girl is playing for keeps! She was smart enough to come straight to you rather than ask him to choose. She knows that if she speaks to him about it, she will come across as desperate/needy/controlling. That isn't to say that she is completely wrong here. I think no matter how secure one feels in their relationship, I think anyone would have a hard time with their partner devoting so much time to someone else. If he is texting you while with her it is incredibly rude and insensitive. Both you and he need to maybe think about how she might feel. I don't think that you should give up a friend, nor should she expect you to. However, maybe cut back the texting to when you know he is not with her, and respect his time with her. I wouldn't go to him about this, b/c you don't want to ruin his relationship (I hope).
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 December 2009):
 Personally I wouldn't give up a friend because their GF was jealous, but I would never text someone hours on end or phone them constantly.
I think I would call him (not on text) and talk to him. I think it's kinda up to him as well, he might not even know that she is hurt by your constant texting.
Also, respect that he is seeing someone.
Put yourself in her shoes, how happy would you be if your BF was constantly texting another girl?
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Texting anyone for hours at a time is sign that you need to get a life. Doing it to someone elses boyfriend is just downright rude and intrusive. I'm surprised she hasn't come 'round to your house and shoved your cellphone right where you won't hear it ringing!
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (2 December 2009):
In my opinion, even if the texts are harmless--he's taken. So you really should back off. But it really should have been him to tell you that the contact needs to stop or he should have just cut off contact with you. Of course his gf could have gotten into his phone and found your number and texted you, which is also a little shady on her part.
And so what if she's jealous of how close you two are? She's his girlfriend, he should be close with her, not you. I'm sure you would feel the same way if you were in the same situation. I think you should let him know that you got a message from his girlfriend and that you'll respect his new relationship and lay off for the time being.
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A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Have you got nothing better to do than spend hours texting someone else's boyfriend?
Of course it's wrong.
Leave him alone.
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A
female
reader, Dazed_and_Confsued +, writes (2 December 2009):
I don't think she should demand the two of you stop talking completely, all that will do is push him further away from her.
But, I do think both you and he need to respect their relationship a bit more and understand that he may need to pay a little more attention to her, but that's something he needs to handle.
If he tells you that he needs to put more focus on his relationship with her and that may mean the two of you talking a bit less, then you should respect that.
She probably feels like she's having to compete for his attention with you, and she is.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 December 2009):
No, you should call him and tell him what she said and tell him you will wait for him to get back in touch when things are better. Then leave him to sort out their relationship.
If you are causing problems then you need to back off.
It's not fair to mess with someone's relationship. Talk to him and if he is happy to do what she wants then stop texting.
Good Luck!! xx
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