A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi. My teacher told me that he loves me too much to do anything about it.I'm 14 and he is 30. He has taught me for the past 2 years. It started just basic flirting really, he stares and smiles at me, touches my shoulders, hands etc. He asks my friends where I am when I'm off or when I'm not around. He compliments me, teases me and just chats to me, like, about normal stuff. I really really like him, people say that when you're in love you know it. I'm not sure if i'm in love with him but i've never felt like this, it's such a strange feeling.So one day, he gave me an after school detention because I hadn't done a few homework assignments. There was only me and him and I don't know about him, but I was having a great time! He wasn't angry with me, we were just chatting, like we normally did, about music, the weekend, TV and ordinary stuff really. And then he told me. He said "If I tell you something, do you PROMISE not to tell anyone, not your friends, family ANYONE? Cos' i'll get into alot of trouble." So obviously, I really wanted to know and I said "Yeah, tell me, I promise." And he said "I feel like theres something... It doesn't matter, it's okay." So I said "Just tell me, I swear down that I wont tell anyone." And he said really quickly "Ive fallen in love with you." We were silent for what seemed like hours. I thought that this was the best thing that could possibly happen to me. I told him "I really like you, I have since you started working here." He seemed really relieved. He came over to me and kneeled down infront of my desk. He brushed the hair off my face and he kissed me. It was my first kiss. It was like I wasn't on the planet, it didn't seem real, it was the best feeling in the world. But then he said "I'm so sorry, this is wrong, I love you too much to have a relationship with you, it'd only ruin your life." It was such a contrast to the feeling i'd felt when I kissed him. He drove me home and when I was getting out of his car, he pulled me back in by my arm and kissed me again. He didn't say anything after we'd finished kissing. He still teaches me, and he flirts and tells me he loves me when nobody is around.I adore him and hes told me he loves me but he isn't going to do anything about it. I don't want to ruin his life and I dont want to get him into trouble, but I want to be with him, and I know he wants to be with me to. Should I tell him that I want to be with him or not?Thanks :(
View related questions:
flirt, I love you, kissing, my teacher Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys, thanks for all the respnses so far.I have an update for you!I had him last week. Do you know when a teacher stares directly at you but while hes talking to everyone? He was doing that and it was driving me crazy. He told me not to tell anyone but it's okay for him to make it blaintently obvious to everyone else? Anyways... about 20 minutes into the lesson I said to him, in front of everyone, "why are you staring at me?" and he said "what?" and i went "why are you staring at me?" and he said "get out." So I went outside. I was so angry. Anyways, he came out a few minutes later and I didn't say anything. He said "don't ever speak to me like that again" so I said "like what? i know what you are, you told me to keep this a secret, but you're staring DIRECTLY at me" and he said "you don't know what you're talking about - you're a little girl" and I said "yeah, i know i'm a little girl, but you're the one who told me that you love me" and he shouted at me and told me to shut up. Then he went back in the class and he left me outside for the rest of the lesson. He gave me detention every night that week, but after reading all of the responses on here I was pretty scared to go. The next day I went to him and I told him that I wasn't doing it. He said "but I have to see you, i'm in love with you." I put the detention slips in his bin and I felt like my heart was breaking when I walked away from him. I have him again tomorrow and i'm worried about what he's going to do.I know what he is yet I totally adore him :'(I don't understand why I feel like this!
A
female
reader, champilyn  +, writes (23 December 2009):
 well... u need to get older first. I am not against this kind of relationship, but tell him to wait till you're 18 i think :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): seriously if his doing this to you he could be doing it to so many other young girls, maybe some even younger than yourself. You seem pretty mature and should be staying well away from this man because the truth is you will ruin his life. he will be put in jail maybe even in the newspapers or tv.
He will not be able to work with children again and will be put on the sex offenders list, which means he will be basically branded a pedophile for the rest of his living days and you will have to live with that for the rest of your life.
Dont pursue this!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): He's manipulating you, yes, maybe he has fallen in love with you, but if he really didn't want to scare or hurt you, he shouldn't of told you, and he shouldn't of added "I love you too much to have a relationship with you", because after a kiss, and him saying that, that's what you expect in a normal scenario.
He's hurting you, but you don't know it, it's a tricky situation, and if he really loved you, he wouldn't put you in it.
...............................
A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (10 December 2009):
 What I'm about to say is something that you won't be able to properly understand until you're much older.He is a very strange and creepy man if he is 30 and likes someone who is 14. When you're 18, look at the 13 year old boys and ask yourself if you would want a relationship with them.You should stay away from him.
...............................
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (28 November 2009):
 If you love this guy then you have to try very hard to stay away otherwise you could ruin his life.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): I am currently trying to get over my former teacher. He used to flirt with me and flatter me. It was a mutual connection of attraction and for the past 4 years I still bump into him and it hasnt been the easiest thing. It's awkward and umcomfortable. Speaking from my own experience I think you need to realize that this student- teacher relationship cannot happen. If anything he's just going to use you then when he's finished, the "relationship" is over and he's broken your heart. Youre so young. What's weird is that I fell for my teacher at 14 just like you. 14 is so young and you are still so vulnerable and nieve of the world inside no matter how mature you try to be. I was mature too. Believe me I'm eighteen and am still trying to find my place in the world. I finally came to the conclusion that I need to move on. This "relationship" that I'm imagining will never be reality so I need to just live my life and focus on only my self. It's a good feeling too! have fun with your teen years and I'm sure youre a pretty girl and many boys have the hots for you at school. Hopefully I helped!! So just stay away from him and focus on other things that make you happy!
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (28 November 2009):
 sorry.. sounds like a fantasy rather than something that is actually happening... Your teacher fell in love with you when he was 28 and you were 12years old.. before you had puberty, breasts or anything.. whilst you were still a child doing childish things...
It better be a fantasy, otherwise your teacher is very sick.. loved you when he first met you.. when you were 12... that's a sick man who is a peadophile who likes little girls...
If it's true.. then stay away from him untill you are 16... If he's serious, then I'm sure he can wait another two years untill you are legal... If he can't wait.. don't worry at 16years you'll be too old for him, because he only likes little kids.
...............................
A
female
reader, DiamondGirlx +, writes (28 November 2009):
 This is LUST not LOVE okay!
u are 14 he is 30
1. your underage
2. he is ur teacher he cud get the sack
3. its illegal he'll be put into prison
4. he'll never be able to work with children again
5. if anyone found out you would have to leave the school you goto and it will most probly be put into press
These are things you have to consider if you really 'love' him that much and he 'loves' you so much then the best thing you cud do for each other is stay away from each other.
How do you know he hasnt said this to other girls or he hasnt kissed other girls, u dont really know him that well you only know him from school, how do you know he hasnt got children or a girlfriend,
look hun ur a child yourself you really need to speak to someone about this if you carnt speak to your parents speak to another teacher...
for your own safety stay away from this guy.. please
:) D.Gx
...............................
A
female
reader, confused_and_broken  +, writes (28 November 2009):
Can someone say jail bait? There is no way that you should keep this a secret. You should have told someone that he kissed you. One day, when you're older it might be fine. But for God's sake, you're only 14. You have your whole life in front of you. Don't ruin it because of what some teacher says. You could one day be raped by him because of this. If this where to get out into the public, your parents might find out. Or the principle at your school might hear about it and fire him because of this. It's not natural.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): Please...keep away from this. Its just not good and will be regreted
...............................
A
female
reader, Dazed~Confused  +, writes (28 November 2009):
 I hate to tell you this, but you need to stay away from this teacher.
He is a grown man, and has no business saying such things to a girl your age. I know it's easy to develop feelings for a teacher. However, you are right when you say that doing anything will not only ruin his life, but yours as well.
Doing anything with you will land him in jail, and for good reason. I fear for you for any psychological and social consequences. What do you think will happen if your school, classmates, or family find out.
From the sounds of it, he's "grooming you". Telling you to keep your relationship a secret. Telling you that he loves you, but....what he is doing is setting you up to make the first move. That way, if you guys ever get caught he can tell other ppl that it was you who initiated it. Too bad for him, cause he will still end up in jail.
You sound like a nice girl. I think you know enough not to get involved with your teacher. Look for boys your own age. Guys with whom you can have an open and safe relationship, where you don't have to hide it.
...............................
A
female
reader, domybest +, writes (27 November 2009):
You seem very mature for a 14 year old. So I'm sure you know that this relationship is wrong. You should walk away, you have your whole life ahead of you. And you would enjoy it much more with someone closer to your age. It probably doesn't seem like it, but you walking away from this, and not taking any action, could be the best decision you have ever made.
Good luck!
...............................
|
