A
female
age
41-50,
*enia34
writes:My girlfriend and I have sex often, however she is the more dominate one I think she believes that she should be the only one who touches or gives pleasure,however I am not that kind of lover I too would like to pleasure her I don't know what to do or how to say it to her. I'm afraid this could be the ending of our relationship. I need advice on what to do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): Is she your girlfriend or your boss? If she's your girlfriend why can't the two of you discuss this important point? Is she so bossy that she is in control of everything and has you cowering in her presence? Is she so selfish that she forgets to ask you how you feel about things? If that's the type of relationship you have then you have to start showing your character and your needs. If you don't it could be the deal-breaker of your continuing together.
A
female
reader, Dazed~Confused  +, writes (30 November 2009):
 Well, I guess it depends on how receptive she is to these kind of things.
If you guys are comfortable talking and sharing, then tell her exactly what you want. Just say, you know it would be nice if I could initiate/lead sometimes.
If you are worried how she might take it, maybe you could put it to her in a role playing sort of way. Say something like, "how about we try something different this time...I'm going to take control"....put some blind folds on, use some ties, and then let her know that you are in complete control.
From there you could say, you know I really enjoyed it when we switched roles the last time, it would be nice if that could be something we do more often.
If she really isn't getting it then you have to sit her down and be blunt. You may find that she has issues with letting go. At that point, it will be up to her to decide if she is willing to work on getting over them with you.
Either way, it should never be the case where one person is in control all the time. Switch it up.
Good luck
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