A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I am very frustrated with a man I have been seeing. He's older and divorced. I can't understand how he'd text other women while being on a date with me, of course when I was looking elsewhere. When we're apart, he rarely texts me. Makes me think of how other women might be more important than me, when they have their time throughout our dates while when he's with them, he RARELY texts me. It's just so upsetting. We're just casually meeting each other, not often though. I feel for him and hence I'd love to get into something more serious with him but he seems to be enjoying a SEA of women he's dating now. To add more salt to the wounds, I know that he's constantly looking around to dating more women in bars. He is a charmer, a nice person. I don't understand why even with all the women he's in touch and dating now, he'd look for more to date with. Am I that repulsive that I seem so minute in his eyes? Just very heartbroken. What's with this man? Anyone to help me decipher? Thanks xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 November 2012):
This is not a reflection on YOU.. HE is just not that into YOU.... it's not YOU it's him.
LET him go....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2012): "We're just casually meeting each other"
Sorry OP but that's a lie.
"Just very heartbroken."
What's casual about this for you? Nothing. You're just pretending to be okay being his casual option but you're not okay with that.
If it really is casual, then casually walk away. This guy has nothing to offer you.
He's just playing the field and enjoying the many women that are on offer around him, including you.
He's not doing anything wrong, this is not a reflection you as a woman except for the fact you sound needy and desperate, chasing a lots cause in some romantic hope that a womanizer will somehow be tamed by you.
OP there is nothing wrong with you as a woman, he's just not that into you. Surely you've gone on dates with guys or been asked out by guys you weren't interested in, it's nothing personal you just can't make yourself like someone more than you do.
He obviously doesn't like you all that much, yet you won't walk away from this supposedly casual arrangement.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (18 November 2012):
He's not emotionally available. He wants to date casually - multiple people at once. You, sadly, are just one of his many options.
You like this guy and you want to be exclusive with him by the sounds of it. You could ask him but he won't agree to it. This is NO reflection on you. He wants quantity, not quality.
Set yourself some boundaries so you don't get even more hurt. Decide what you will tolerate and stick to it. Not just with him but in general.
You're in two different places. He's divorced and enjoying playing the field now he has freedom. You sound like you want a proper relationship. You are not a good match and I hope you wise up/ gather the strength to move on from this man. The sooner the better before it wears down your self esteem even more.
Good luck.
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