A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So let me explain I'm 18 and one of my lectures has well changed on me, he used to be alright I mean I could talk to him causually like have a laugh with him and friends. Not flirting but just talking and I could go to him for help with a subject, but all of a sudden he's changed in a SNAP he now is saying he won't predict me the A I need because I won't get it I'm lazy, unmotivated, and unfocused 24/7 hell be suprised if I can even get a C then said and trust me you (in a horrible nasty tone) won't suprise me and do better. Before this he didn't have a problem and I do work and have evidence to prove it. He also has a go at me because I won't answer questions in class when I'm shy ask any of my lectures all will say the same thing. After he said I was not motivated he said I seriously need to look at other courses for uni because I most definately won't get on law I'm not capable of doing that, other grades are As told him this and he like smirked. I got annoyed, so I walked away and burst into tears he doesn't know this. But I'm the type of person when you tell me I can't do something I believe I can't and think whats the point after that my mom spoke to him and told him that he's being harsh and asked what his problem was and he ignored her and said to me well what do you think? I said I didn't know what he wanted me to say. He just kept being disparaging, telling me I'll never make it and it's really upset me now there is a huge tension between us like I don't want to talk to him or even look at him I just want to drop out and end up with nothing I mean if I'm going to fail what's the point if I'm trying my hardest? He is also ignoring me and won't speak to me or help me I just don't know what the hell to do? I'm nervous and don't want to fall out with the guy as you know it's just causes for unnessary drama? Please help me out! Thanks
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (17 November 2012):
 He is being extremely unprofessional. He may think his tactics will spur you on (or he may not even care), but the fact is that you're thinking of dropping out. That's not good.
It's a good thing you confided in your mother, and I think you should also talk to someone at University; someone senior to him in his department, or to your personal tutor/ guidance person. It wouldn't be causing a drama (a drama would be you dropping out!). I wonder if he behaves like this with other students? He might be well known for being a grumpy, bullying type. One of his colleagues needs to have a word with him. His actions are not professional and they're distressing you.
Keep working hard. Try to answer questions in class even though it's uncomfortable - it'll get easier. Keep going for the high grades and remind yourself how well you're doing in your other classes.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, flowerfariy +, writes (17 November 2012):
 In my opionion yes he is being unproffessional! If he hasn't listened to your mum can you go higher then him? To a senior member of staff? And let them know your concern about him and that you feel really disheartened... Keep going even if the first person doesn't listen! I'm the same I'm really shy but I learnt that I don't deserve to take rubbish off anyone regardless of their age or position You can get your grades and dont listen to anyone! I know it's hard, but trust me only person you need to listen to is yourself and occasionally your parents! :P Don't let anyone discourage you from what you want to do! You're the only one to live your life so live it your way and sod what others think!
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