A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just started talking to this guy approx. 2 weeks ago and after a few days we got flirty. He came home Friday for Thanksgiving break and was completely excited to meet me.. so he drove over and we hung out and kissed a bit. During that he kept repeating how he liked me so much already and how I'm going to be his sometime soon. Then the next day he cancelled his plans to visit his ex for four days because he didn't want to ruin things with me. Then just yesterday he was acting super weird. Short replies and kind of crabby. Posted a status about how he had been friend zoned and didn't like it.. but I haven't friend zoned him and he told me he only liked me. I visited him last night and everything was talked over and he promises that he's going to be with me and that he was inly crabby because his best friend (a girl) and him were fighting.. which kinda ticks me off.. and then he promised that we're going ti be together and that he's going ti fall in love with me.. then he said he loved me. Now, I feel like this is all so he can get in my pants.. but I also never think positively. Should I just trust him.. or should I still keep my guard up (which makes him mad)?
View related questions:
best friend, flirt, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (20 November 2012):
 So many red flags. The ex who he is still close to, the best friend who is female and who who he has more than friendly feelings towards (otherwise why all the crabbiness?), the fast forwarding of it all, telling you he loves you after 2 weeks (!), the statement that you are going to be his sometime soon. Really, are you?!
These things would make me back off all together. I wouldn't want to waste my time with this guy.
If you want to keep seeing him, though, set your boundaries. Take your time with him. Get to know him, and stop letting him set the pace. Don't be with him just because he wants you - do you want him? You don't actually say whether you like him, just how much he says he's in to you.
Most importantly - DO NOT let him get in your pants. He might be willing to stay around for the suggested 3-6 month period, but I highly doubt it.
Your instincts are telling you to keep your guard up - listen to them!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): Yeah, I'd say he's just trying to get into your pants.First off, if he had actually been friend-zoned by someone else, that means he was trying to see another girl as well as you.If he's not seeing anyone else then it seems like an attempt at emotional blackmail. Meaning he's trying to make you worried you might lose him and he might get in your pants faster if you feel the need to prove to him he's more than a friend.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 November 2012):
 Well, he IS tryng to get into your pants, and he is laying it on pretty thick to get there- in a very clumsy way. Yes, keep your guard up, and your pants on,- and, honestly, be prepared to see his " love " and " promises " disappear like snow at the first sun when it downs on him the he needs to EARN your trust .
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (20 November 2012):
Well, he IS tryng to get into your pants, and he is laying it on pretty thick to get there- in a very clumsy way. Yes, keep your guard up, and your pants on,- and, honestly, be prepared to see his " love " and " promises " disappear like snow at the first sun when it downs on him the he needs to EARN your trust .
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): You're right OP, he's trying every trick in the book to get into your knickers and he's a complete amateur too.
I did this kind of thing for years OP, this guy isn't even smooth he's like a whiny little boy. Pathetic little bitchy statuses knowing you'd see them to make you think you may have done something wrong, getting mad when you don't open yourself completely to him and keep guarded, making promises of a future after only 2 weeks, talking about love, jesus the guy is a fool at this.
All the early signs of a complete loser OP.
http://www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.html
Trust me OP this guy is all about the pussy and he thinks being an absolute sociopathic whiny little, needy, clingy bitch is going to get him that. You need to show him that's not the case, move on OP. The guy is a freak.
...............................
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (20 November 2012):
 I don't think you are thinking negatively, you are thinking realistically. It has only been two weeks and he is saying he is going to be in love with you and you will be his, then he says he does love you now... That's a bit too soon. Keep your guard up and don't ever have sex before you are in a committed relationship. 2 weeks and a few sweet words aren't going to be enough to get into your pants and he needs to know this. If he complains or it scares him off then you know that's all he wanted. The only sure way to know a guy wants you for more than just sex is to wait, 3 months is a good amount of time.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): It is very hard to know what it is he wants. You have only known him for 2 weeks, and he is telling you he loves you? That to me is him telling you what he thinks you want to hear. What I would do in your situation is tell him that you want to take things slowly, if he feels as he says he does he will be fine with this. Do not let him push you into anything. Make him wait, even friendzone him, tell him that you will not be mucked around or used.
If he is serious then he will respect you enough to go slow and take it easy. I would say wait 6 months before you step it up, that way if he means what he says he will be only to willing to comply. If he is not willing to do this then kick him to the curb for sure!!
Good luck I hope it works out.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): Ugh, I absolutely hate it when anyone complains, especially on some social networking site, about how they've been "friend-zoned." It's immature, shows a lack of respect to the person he/she is or was interested in, etc. Kind of like saying "I've worked so hard for this girl/guy I like and now all my efforts have gone to waste" - victimization of the self and vilifying the other party, anyone?
You two have only known each other for a few weeks and he "promises" that you guys will be together? Could I equate this to someone saying "I promise to make you happy"? This situation is a bit ambiguous, but I'd say keep your guard up.
...............................
|
