A
male
age
30-35,
*iain22
writes:I have recently found myself in a bizarre love quadrangle which has now left me on the verge of having no fixed home. My issue is a rather drawn out and more than likely a very naively dealt with situation my myself. I have had a number of flings since I was in my mid-teens but 4 years ago I began to date a woman whom is six years my senior. I moved to her country to be with her during a personal loss and we returned this time last year. We developed an extreme 'love hate relationship' over the past year. She slept with a mutual friend and this ended the relationship in many ways,lack of trust. she suggests open relationship, it took me months to get my head around it, she chose whom I could sleep with. She has since started sleeping with my best friend, housemate. He has been aggressive with me for finding out, she told me but has since been abusive as well, violence has been used against me as well as he is 8 years older, they are in some way bullying me which is hurtful. The feeling in my house is awful. I have not once shouted nor been angry tried to be peaceful and understanding not hateful. They talk about me to lots of people and my other flatmates are strange with me now. They are dating openly, I have been kicked out of my home now by my friend and he is being very cold with me. I can feel I am been judged by lots of people as if rumors are been spread. I have been asked to pack my bags but have nowhere to go, I dont have extended family and couches are my only options but as a student whom works as well, rotation is not good for me now. I am accused by both as been an alcoholic by both, I drink when I am really down, sometimes go too far but I dont have an issue I am generally a peaceful person and positive but now have been depressed lately due to the situation. I have not done anything, I have kept my dignity and have not said a bad word nor lost my cool at any time but I am very isolated now. I have devoted years of my life helping my two former best friends and have a good heart I believe but I am been stamped on emotionally and they dont care they are just excommunicatig me with mental abuse, cold shouldering me despite myself been civil and now I have nowhere to live. I feel used, vulnerable, isolated and betrayed. I dont know what I should do I feel depressed. Any suggestions, I dont have many people to talk to bar my ex male friend's brother whom I grew up with since I was seven but he is stuck in the middle.
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alcoholic, best friend, depressed, flatmate, friend's brother, my ex, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (20 November 2012):
 You need a good, clean break from these people. Not surprised you feel vulnerable and depressed.
For accommodation, can you not ask at University? Or just find a cheap bedsit?
You need to draw a line and clear your head.
Have a break from the booze and from relationships. Focus on yourself and your studying, and try to make new friends so you're not so isolated.
But first and foremost, get out of that house.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): What you need to do is find another place to live, since the environment youre in is no longer conducive. Try to find someone who can lodge you while you get yourself together.
Dont hold anything against those people who have hurt you, just move on. Work hard in your studies,work hard at work and get on with your life. Take that as one of life's experiences.
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