I want to emigrate to US, but hubby wont budge
Q. Hello aunts I have been hugely lucky to have had a job that allowed me 2 visit NYC, I have been in live with the place since I can remember, I think it's cause my grandad was a seaman and visited NYC hundreads of times and would come back to ...
A. 29 November 2009: I hate to say it, but your kids' passion for NYC may be just reflected from your own love of the place. At that age, visiting somewhere like that is VERY exciting, as it is all new and different, and a complete opposite to everything they know at ... (read in full...)
I want to emigrate to US, but hubby wont budge
Q. Hello aunts I have been hugely lucky to have had a job that allowed me 2 visit NYC, I have been in live with the place since I can remember, I think it's cause my grandad was a seaman and visited NYC hundreads of times and would come back to ...
A. 28 November 2009: I think you need to remember this is not just about what you want. You have a husband, and children.
You dont say how old your children are, but if they are at school, it's going to be difficult for them. They will have friends, and will be ... (read in full...)
What do you all think of 'one night' stands?
Q. I'm sort of on the fence about one night stands and would really like other peoples opinions on them, both men and women.. I've had about 5 in total now and they've all been mainly when i'm drunk. Each time we have been careful and used protect...
A. 24 November 2009: I think it is down to the individual and how they see sex.
Does it mean anything, emotionally, romantically, is it special? Or is it just a physical act, where its all about release, and as long as you climax you dont care how you get it?
Per... (read in full...)
Any tips for learning to drive a car?
Q. I didn't know wether to write on this website or not but I don't know any other, and i'm on here quite a lot and have had some great advice in the past. But anyway I have my first driving lesson tomorrow.. and as i'm not exactly a car whizz, i...
A. 23 November 2009: Just calm down! :)
Everyone feels the same when they have their first driving lesson. Its perfectly normal! (Unless you are Lewis Hamilton of course and have been driving since you were 2). Just listen to your instructor, if you are unsure a... (read in full...)
Dating help
Q. So I have been dating this guy for 3 months. Yesterday he called me and said he realizes I am wanting us to be in a relationship but he is not ready for that. Although he loves going out and doing stuff with me. He is young 24! But I am not sure I ...
A. 23 November 2009: I know where you are coming from with this. I went through a similar experience with the last guy I dated.
He really wanted to see me, spend time with me, but was not willing to commit fully, as he was "not ready to be in a relationship" so he wo... (read in full...)
I have had unprotected sex for 5 months and not fallen pg, does this mean I cant have kids or something?
Q. im 17 years old i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, hes 23 years old, ever since we got together we havent used protection once, i dont have to worry about STD's because we have been tested and we are both okay. the thing is i dont want ...
A. 19 November 2009: Sorry, but at age 16-17, if he doesnt like using a condom, then the answer should be "well thats just tough".
No condom = NO SEX.
The fact that he won't use a condom, even tho he knows you are not on the pill suggests that he is one selfish i... (read in full...)
I have had unprotected sex for 5 months and not fallen pg, does this mean I cant have kids or something?
Q. im 17 years old i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, hes 23 years old, ever since we got together we havent used protection once, i dont have to worry about STD's because we have been tested and we are both okay. the thing is i dont want ...
A. 17 November 2009: Just thank your lucky stars you haven't!
You have been playing with fire here, and have been very very lucky. There is something you can do about this IMMEDIATELY! CONDOMS. Dont let him near you until he is wrapped up. If he has a problem ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting if my boyfriend has a wedding on the day of my birthday and I do not want to attend?
Q. Am I over reacting if my boyfriend has a wedding on the day of my birthday and I do not want to attend? I am not close with the couple that is getting married and my birthday is the only day out of the year that it is all about me. He gives me a ...
A. 16 November 2009: Stop being so selfish! I think you "expect" too much.
"Every year for the last 5 years I have gone somewhere on my birthday and he expects me to spend the day with him and be happy for someone else on their special day. I do not even like her. "
... (read in full...)
I need advice about my feelings for my teacher!
Q. This is probably going to be long, so bear with me. To start with, I don't want to hear how wrong you think/know these kind of relationships are, and how they will not work out and only cause trouble. I know this already. I'm old enough and matur...
A. 16 November 2009: Sadly, there really is not much we can do to help you, as this is a very personal battle. We cannot make your brain change its opinion. You are the only one who can do that.
The obvious answer is to say "get over it", but this is hard, and I do... (read in full...)
At a crossroads in my life...
Q. Well, I'm 28 single with a good job no children in good shape have my own place. Been single for like 5 years now. Dated on and off but can't really find anyone to connect with. Is it me or am I not trying hard enough and people always think I'm ...
A. 15 November 2009: No! Dont walk with your head down!
Stand up and be happy!
You are only 28, its not like you are old! I am 26 and in the same situation as you. I have a good job, great personality, im by no means an ugly duckling, but I have also been single... (read in full...)
Any teachers out there??? How do teachers deal with student crushes?
Q. How/what do teachers deal/do with student crushes? For example: if a student had a crush on you, what would you do? and how would you know?...
A. 15 November 2009: As a teacher, we have rules. Each school will have a policy set out as to how to deal with situations like this.
If we find that one of the students has a crush on us, we monitor the situation, as often they are short lived and blow over within a... (read in full...)
Can anyone recommend a good contraceptive pill?
Q. I need some female advice, I am 27 (virgin) and currently not on the pill, I have been seeing this guy and we want to take things further, I have never really wanted to go on the pill because I think it messes with the female body, but I also don't ...
A. 15 November 2009: I agree totally with Emily.
Where the pill is concerned it really is about trial and error. Every woman is different, and so that means a pill that works fantastically for one woman, may have horrible side effects on another. It is all down to ... (read in full...)
Can a teacher tell when a student fancies them?
Q. Do teachers realise if one of their student has a crush on them?? Just wondering.... And how would they know?????...
A. 15 November 2009: I am a teacher, and yes it is ALWAYS obvious.
As a teenager, you think that you are hiding your feelings, and you think that the teacher doesnt notice, even if you are totally madly deeply (or you think you are) in love with them.
Honestly, whe... (read in full...)
Why do I always drift away in relationships or is it just fate?
Q. I am 14 years of age and I'v only had 2 proper intimiate relationships. Everytime I get intimate with someone, you would think that would bring me closer to that person but somehow we drift apart. I know it's somthing to do with my extreme s...
A. 14 November 2009: I am SO glad that intimate doesnt mean sex, and I am glad you know that you are not ready for sex. HOWEVER - Penetration is just one form of sex, intimate touching, blowjobs, fingering and foreplay are SEX. Vaginal, anal, oral penetration are sex. ... (read in full...)
What would you say if your 16 year old daughter asked for a hotel room?
Q. Hey, this question is mainly aimed at mum's opinions but any others are welcome, and I'd rather you say what you think within reason and without too much of a lecture thanks. Basically, I've been with my boyfriend 1 year 8 months, I'm fifteen and ...
A. 14 November 2009: Sorry, I HAVE to respond to this.
"All I can say is fair enough to all responses, I don't think many parents can actually understand the difference when it comes to teenagers actually loving each other and wanting to show that sensibly and matu... (read in full...)
What would you say if your 16 year old daughter asked for a hotel room?
Q. Hey, this question is mainly aimed at mum's opinions but any others are welcome, and I'd rather you say what you think within reason and without too much of a lecture thanks. Basically, I've been with my boyfriend 1 year 8 months, I'm fifteen and ...
A. 14 November 2009: I think what we are trying to get across to you is that this will be your first time. You have absolutely no idea what to expect. Do you really want to do something that will be a little scary - and no matter how much you have "done" with your ... (read in full...)
Why do I always drift away in relationships or is it just fate?
Q. I am 14 years of age and I'v only had 2 proper intimiate relationships. Everytime I get intimate with someone, you would think that would bring me closer to that person but somehow we drift apart. I know it's somthing to do with my extreme s...
A. 14 November 2009: Dear Poster
It is obvious from your question that you are not ready for any intimate relationship, let alone already having had two!!!!!
Just to remind you, that sex is ILLEGAL in the UK, if you are under the age of 16. Just bear that in min... (read in full...)
What would you say if your 16 year old daughter asked for a hotel room?
Q. Hey, this question is mainly aimed at mum's opinions but any others are welcome, and I'd rather you say what you think within reason and without too much of a lecture thanks. Basically, I've been with my boyfriend 1 year 8 months, I'm fifteen and ...
A. 14 November 2009: I think this would be a bit too much for most Mothers.
While they are ok with the "idea" of their children being sexual, the majority do not want to know how and when you are doing it. This may seem silly to you now, but I think it is some... (read in full...)
Why don't men spend money on me?
Q. Hello, I have always dated men who do not spend money on me. They would have splashed out on their previous gf's but not on me. Usually I am the one to get them great gifts but I rarely get anything cool in return, just cards and some random gene...
A. 13 November 2009: Stop being so greedy!
Presents should not be expected, and you shouldnt expect your boyfriend to splash out huge amounts of money on you. You give a present because you want the recipient to enjoy it, not so that you get goodies back in return. ... (read in full...)
Which guy should I focus on???
Q. Ok, i have a few guys on the go at the moment and would really like to focus on one, as a boyfriend likee. But theres little things about them that make me not know which to choose. So, the first one is a boy in 6th form, i'm in year 11 (he's 2 ...
A. 13 November 2009: OK, well thats one question solved! lol
so, now for Guy 1.
Nothing in this world is guaranteed, but unless you ask, you can sit around forever wondering, what if, does he, doesnt he...blah blah blah....If he doesn't like you as more than a f... (read in full...)
Which guy should I focus on???
Q. Ok, i have a few guys on the go at the moment and would really like to focus on one, as a boyfriend likee. But theres little things about them that make me not know which to choose. So, the first one is a boy in 6th form, i'm in year 11 (he's 2 ...
A. 12 November 2009: Personally,I dont think you should date either of them.
The fact that you cannot decide between them, suggests that you dont like either of them enough to be a boyfriend. Yes you may think they are cute, but you dont like them enough to separate... (read in full...)
High Maintenance...
Q. i need some advice mainly from men.. but women please can you give your opinions too.. are men really put off with high maintenance girls? and whenever they classify a girl as high maintenance what exactly do they mean? Personally i always like my...
A. 12 November 2009: One of my best (male) friends dated a "high maintanence" woman for a while.
Basically, she like you took great pride in her appearance almost to the point of obsession, and was very conscious of the "things" she had in her life. Posessio... (read in full...)
I need advice about my feelings for my teacher!
Q. This is probably going to be long, so bear with me. To start with, I don't want to hear how wrong you think/know these kind of relationships are, and how they will not work out and only cause trouble. I know this already. I'm old enough and matur...
A. 11 November 2009: Also
"I do understand the reasoning behind keeping the doors open and such, but not all schools have these rules, I'm sure. My college doesn't seem to, because I have been to see other male teachers regarding my work and no "precautions" if you will... (read in full...)
I need advice about my feelings for my teacher!
Q. This is probably going to be long, so bear with me. To start with, I don't want to hear how wrong you think/know these kind of relationships are, and how they will not work out and only cause trouble. I know this already. I'm old enough and matur...
A. 11 November 2009: "To start with, I don't want to hear how wrong you think/know these kind of relationships are, and how they will not work out and only cause trouble. I know this already. I'm old enough and mature enough to understand the problems this can cause, as ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and am in love with my teacher!
Q. So i'm 14 years old, and there's this teacher at school, she is amazing, like really amazing and i really really like her, she acts so nice to me and like i think i might be in love with her. She acts strange though, telling me i'm beautiful...
A. 10 November 2009: If she kissed you then she has broken the law.
This is not good, its not funny, and no matter what you feel for her, this has gone TOO FAR.
You must tell another teacher IMMEDIATELY.
What your teacher has done is broken the law, and betr... (read in full...)
We're both 13 and want to be friends with benefits, but I don't know if I'm ready!
Q. My neighbor and I have been friends since we were 2 and now I have feelings for him cause we have been through like everthing together and we probly tell each other more then like a married couple! We are both 13... The other day he suggested...
A. 10 November 2009: You are only 13!!! No no no! You are a CHILD.
This boy is just using you.
Firstly in the UK the legal age of consent is 16. This means that you are too young to consent to sex. Just to make it clear it is ILLEGAL to have sex before you are 1... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and am in love with my teacher!
Q. So i'm 14 years old, and there's this teacher at school, she is amazing, like really amazing and i really really like her, she acts so nice to me and like i think i might be in love with her. She acts strange though, telling me i'm beautiful...
A. 10 November 2009: I am a teacher, and any teacher/pupil relationship is totally against the rules.
When you sign up to be a teacher, you agree to abide by certain rules and laws, one of them being to protect the children in your care. You are a CHILD. You are also... (read in full...)
He's the most amazing man I've ever met... but is the age difference just too much?
Q. I've been great friends with the most amazing guy for 9 months now, and just this past month, we acknowledged the mutual attraction and got past the age difference: he's 22 and I'm 53. I've been involved with a lot of younger men (my ex-husband was ...
A. 10 November 2009: I think before you start to get in too deep, you need to have a very long honest chat about where you want this relationship to go.
At the moment, he is a young, carefree 22 year old, just starting out in the adult world, at the beginnin... (read in full...)
Biological clock in overdrive - please help!
Q. I'm a 30 year old woman in a committed 3 year relationship. I have lived with my partner for over 2 years now, and moved abroad to live with him. For the past year I have been struggling with increasing desire to have a child. Please understand that ...
A. 6 November 2009: I think what you have to remember is that your boyfriend is 5 years younger than you. How did you feel about kids when you were 25? Were you more focussed on your career? He hasn't even finished Uni yet, let alone got himself a job, and a first step ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with her when we aren't in a relationship?
Q. There's this girl that I've know since the 6th grade and I've always thought she had a nice body. We're in the 9th grade now. We started talking over the internet and one thing led to another and we ende up having internet sex and now se wants me to ...
A. 4 November 2009: I think this girl is pushing you for sex. She can only see one thing, and that is sex with you. I really don't think she is after a serious relationship. It is interesting, because usually it is the boy that is a sex crazed teenager, but this shows ... (read in full...)
She is 30 and he is 74. Is he actually interested in her mind?
Q. He is 74. She's 30. First of all, let's say he is a thin, very attractive, elderly man. It may seem gross to some people, but she says she is actually attracted to him. It may be weird to some, but she said something about him is fascinating to h...
A. 4 November 2009: Also, another point to question was how quickly he responded to her email. 3 mins after no contact for a week? Seems very convenient after she just agreed to do "anything he wants".
Hello people! He is only after her for sex. Not her mind. Te... (read in full...)
She is 30 and he is 74. Is he actually interested in her mind?
Q. He is 74. She's 30. First of all, let's say he is a thin, very attractive, elderly man. It may seem gross to some people, but she says she is actually attracted to him. It may be weird to some, but she said something about him is fascinating to h...
A. 4 November 2009: What does she actually hope to get out of this relationship? Money? A husband? A lifestyle? A bit of a thrill?
Essentially she has just agreed to be his PAID mistress. He takes her out for fancy meals in return for "frienship" and the odd sexual f... (read in full...)
Is it too soon for me to stay the night?
Q. I've been seeing a fantastic woman for 3 1/2 months now. She is in the process of divorcing ,and has 2 kids, aged 16 and 18. They still live in the marital home.The problem is my girlfiend feels awkward me staying the night because of the c...
A. 4 November 2009: I can only answer this from the childs point of view. My parents divorced when I was about 15/16 (and it took a good few years to be finalised). So I can only give you an idea of how her children will feel. To be perfectly honest, it messed me up. I ... (read in full...)
I want more intimacy but not sex.
Q. I've been dating a guy for about 3 months now. I've met his family and friends and he calls me his girlfriend. One night, about a month after we started going out, he said he wanted to sleep with me. I told him I wasn't ready and he said he ...
A. 4 November 2009: What do you class as more intimate? If you have an idea about what you want next time move his hands a little or initiate something different. If he gets the wrong idea then tell him to stop.
You are in a relationship with this guy. Communic... (read in full...)
Do you think I should hang on in here or move on? Hubby is not upset that I miscarried!
Q. Please forgive me for a long post but my question needs a bit of background. I am 41 and I have been married 3 times. The first two were public school boys and successful businessmen. My latest is the origional bad boy, been to prison, always up to ...
A. 2 November 2009: I think you need to work out your motives as to why you want another child.
Is it because you are broody? Do you want a child with him specifically, or do you just want a child? What is the motivation behind your need?
A miscarriage, or ... (read in full...)
I'm 15, he is 26. Is this bad?
Q. right well im 15 .. and ive been going out with this lad who is 26 ... but ive been with him for nearly a year .. and where so happy .. he treats me like a princess and buys me what i want and loves me loads ... and evryone says im a very mature 15 ...
A. 21 October 2009: Typo
This ISN'T what proper relationships are based on. You saying "I want" and him getting it for you. Have you considered he may be buying your attention? He probably thinks its very flattering!... (read in full...)
I'm 15, he is 26. Is this bad?
Q. right well im 15 .. and ive been going out with this lad who is 26 ... but ive been with him for nearly a year .. and where so happy .. he treats me like a princess and buys me what i want and loves me loads ... and evryone says im a very mature 15 ...
A. 21 October 2009: Gerta has given some good advice.
I think that at 15, the 11 year age gap is far too big. This is an ADULT man here. You are still a child, and whether you like it or not, this is the truth. You may be mature for your age, but believe me we all s... (read in full...)
Parents won't allow me to have sex with my girlfriend. Is there a solution?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 2 weeks. Nothing has escalated from kissing yet let alone sex. None of us are in a rush but the problem i face is. My GF's mum is away for a week, obviously my GF wants me to sleep over. My mum and...
A. 21 October 2009: Well, there is also the factor that it could happen in the day time, BUT if you are out, or doing things during the day you are not so consumed by the feelings. Generally during the day you have things to do - like school im guessing! (As her mum is ... (read in full...)
Parents won't allow me to have sex with my girlfriend. Is there a solution?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 2 weeks. Nothing has escalated from kissing yet let alone sex. None of us are in a rush but the problem i face is. My GF's mum is away for a week, obviously my GF wants me to sleep over. My mum and...
A. 20 October 2009:
Yes I would say dont sleep over. Even now at the grand old age of 26 (woo go me!) I would still say having a new boyfriend sleep over after two weeks was way too soon. And I have a good 10 years on you! lol By all means go and spend the day with... (read in full...)
Parents won't allow me to have sex with my girlfriend. Is there a solution?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 2 weeks. Nothing has escalated from kissing yet let alone sex. None of us are in a rush but the problem i face is. My GF's mum is away for a week, obviously my GF wants me to sleep over. My mum and...
A. 20 October 2009: I know you think you dont want sex, and you say you are not ready, and I do applaud you for being so mature and honest.
BUT, if this is the case, then there is no need to sleep over. Sleeping at somones house usually is a precursor for sexual a... (read in full...)
Parents won't allow me to have sex with my girlfriend. Is there a solution?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 2 weeks. Nothing has escalated from kissing yet let alone sex. None of us are in a rush but the problem i face is. My GF's mum is away for a week, obviously my GF wants me to sleep over. My mum and...
A. 20 October 2009: In some ways your parents are right. They have been a teenager, and at that age, hormones are strong, and they can take over and in the heat of the moment you may do something you regret. Whether you like it or not, you sleeping over, in the same ... (read in full...)
My mum broke me and my boyfriend up because she thinks he is weird, She wont let me be upset, Help?
Q. Well i was with my bf for a whole year. he two years older than me but we have known each other for years. I knew him from when i was in year 7 (grade 7) and he was year 9, now im in year 11 and have been with him since the begining of year 10. He ...
A. 20 October 2009: You should wait until YOU are ready, which may be 16, 17 or maybe later - not until you cant be told off by your parents! Geez. Sex isnt a race - its not about being the first to lose your virginity. And if you rush it, you will regret it. Teena... (read in full...)
My mum broke me and my boyfriend up because she thinks he is weird, She wont let me be upset, Help?
Q. Well i was with my bf for a whole year. he two years older than me but we have known each other for years. I knew him from when i was in year 7 (grade 7) and he was year 9, now im in year 11 and have been with him since the begining of year 10. He ...
A. 11 October 2009: This is difficult, as all parents want to do is the best for their children, and she may well think she is helping you from making the same mistakes she did, but actually going completely the wrong way about it.
I do not condone her actions ... (read in full...)
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