A
female
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anonymous
writes:I'm sort of on the fence about one night stands and would really like other peoples opinions on them, both men and women..I've had about 5 in total now and they've all been mainly when i'm drunk. Each time we have been careful and used protection - i don't think i could go through with it if he didnt use protection. But i wonder if its ok to go on like this.
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (15 December 2009):
 Who says you have to be drunk, or that you have to hide it from a long term partner?
My (ex) partner of 2 decades was a Police man, who when still just friends (in my teens), I asked to take me to the Police Social Club coz a girlfriend and I wanted to pick up a couple of Cops for the hell of it. I did, he knows, he helped me do it ..lol. No issue!
One night stands have never typically been my thing (well I can count them on less than one hand anyway), ... but I can assure you I have done that totally straight too.
As for keepers - it was 3 months before I slept with my ex when we finally got together (despite him having a hand in me picking up a 1 night stand), ...but that is simply coz I can tell the diff b/n some well protected harmless fun that is going nowhere, and the rules of engagement with someone who is a potential keeper.
Never sleep with a potential keeper straight away if ya wanna keep em.:-)
A
female
reader, jasmin nisar +, writes (15 December 2009):
 one night stands can cause long term problems 4 the women that choose 2do it using protection or not. if ur in such a drunk state how do u know the condom hasnt split or even if u r really using it properly? one nighters do nothing to boost image or the rank of friends if anything u will get mixed up with the wrong sort of people. are 1 night stands the way u want people 2 remember u? these days people young or elder seem 2 4get this life is a test it isnt real its what u make of it whilest ur here that determinds ur life in the here after how can any1 tell u its ok 2 do this is beyond me how will u feel when u have a partner or eventually get married u will have to lie to them the whole way through ur time 2gether because of the shame of ur past all im sayin is think about it hun its not clever and no1 will respect u in the morning
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A
female
reader, PRINCESS916  +, writes (11 December 2009):
i think a one night stand is fine. if thats what you want. sure some people will talk badly about it. but who cares. its your life and your descision. if you want a relationship a one night stand is probably not the way to get it. but if you just want to have fun and expirement then i think its fine. your right you shouldnt compare your life to others because its yours! and everyone is different. no one has the right to judge you. and hey at 22 i think you should be doing exactly what your doing. lol. HAVING FUUUUN ;]. dont regret anything life is too short.
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (3 December 2009):
 Well if you are enjoying all the sex and doing it safely, do as you wish. My list exceeds 100 women in my lifetime and I regret none of it, but the more enduring affairs were always the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your answers..
the reason why im questioning if it is a good thing or not now because lately me and my friend have been counting up the many people that we have slept with and after seeing the length of my list, and actually forgetting about a few it sort of made me question if i hadn't have been doing this would my number be down there with my friends as opposed to almost 3 times her amount??
i know that what i do should be my choice alone and i shouldn't compare my life to others but it did make me think. At the minute im at the age (22) where i want to be experiencing new things and having a bit of fun. I had a serious relationship for 4 years where i was tied down and basically didn't have a life really.
These one nihgt stands have all been different men and not every time i have been drunk, therefore i don't only do it when i'm intoxicated. And to be honest nobody really knows that ive had a one night stand until i tell them really, the only 2 people i would tell is my sister and my friend.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (24 November 2009):
 Are they the same guy? Then they aren't one night stands.
And since you need to be drunk to do them, you can hardly consider them good yourselves?
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, what you thinks matter. It is your life. Is this what you want?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): I don't think it should be a banned practice or anything, but I think society would be better off with less ONS action happening. I have never had one and don't plan on it. The quickest way for me to stop taking a woman seriously as relationship potential is to find out she's willing to do a ONS. Be it past or present.
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 November 2009):
I'll add the following: One of my one night stands back about 1977 turned into a 20-year-marriage. Perhaps it depends on the nature of the man, and maybe my approach to dating was and remains somewhat different.
In other words, I very rarely considered a first or second date to be a one night stand going into it. If we had sex, fine. But I always wanted more, as I recall, and the first date usually led to more. It gets better each time. That was my philosophy. LOL
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): one night stands serve a purpose, so people can have sex when they are craving it.
but if you would rather a relationship, don't let guys walk all over you, let them date you and get to know you first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): ooooooooo but who chooses to have sex with them you so turn this on your self hun.
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female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (24 November 2009):
 "I wouldnt just want to be a walking vagina for a random bloke to have his way with."
That's a great answer! Hilarious and I totally agree :)
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female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (24 November 2009):
"I wouldnt just want to be a walking vagina for a random bloke to have his way with."
That's a great answer! Hilarious and I totally agree :)
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (24 November 2009):
 I think it is down to the individual and how they see sex.
Does it mean anything, emotionally, romantically, is it special? Or is it just a physical act, where its all about release, and as long as you climax you dont care how you get it?
Personally, I could never have a one night stand. I view sex as something very special between two people, that should be shared with someone you really love, not some random passer by. I couldnt be intimate with someone I didn't trust deeply, and who did not care about me at all. I wouldnt just want to be a walking vagina for a random bloke to have his way with. Sex means far more to me than that.
I also wouldnt want the reputation that comes with having multiple one night stands.
But, it is down to personal choice and personal views, this is just what I believe.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): I like them and hate them at the same time. I like them if I'm in a place where I don't want a relationship but want the "company" of a guy for a night. I think they tend to work out fine as long as I never talk to them or see them again. I hate them though, when the guy acts interested afterwards or wants to see me again. Because then I start to wonder if he likes me or if he just wants to have sex. Then that just gets to a point where I don't feel like I'm in control of the situation anymore. So all-in-all, I try to avoid them, unless it's been several months and I start to feel really lonely but am not in the mood to start a relationship with someone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): If your the type of person who doesn't want a relationship at the moment and your just looking for a bit of fun then one night stands are great!you said yourself that you always use protection so thats a good thing, however, one night stands can also lead you to have a bad reputation if you have loads of them so unless you keep it quiet and dont tell anyone about your sex life th best suggestion would be to find a sex buddy, no strings sex whenever you want it with the same person so you know you''ll safer from STI's and you wont have to be commited to anything ;)
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female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (24 November 2009):
It's ok to go on like that if you're ok with it.
I personally would never have a one night stand but it's all about what you want and how you feel about it. I don't do it because I'm not comfortable with the idea of being so intimate with someone I don't know well and someone who doesn't care about me as a person.
Why are you questioning your choices now?
DoubleM is right though...one night stands don't usually lead anywhere.
But in the end, you do what you want...make sure you're safe though.
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A
female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (24 November 2009):
I've done the same thing, except I see them for a while then its over... I don't see anything wrong with it, because you're protecting yourself. I really don't enjoy having sex when I'm drunk, I enjoy it much better when I'm sober. You're just experimenting right now, and there is nothing wrong with that.
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female
reader, TheSoulAsylum +, writes (24 November 2009):
 I've had a lot of one night stands, if you'd like to call them that. Basically, I started having sex at an early age in life and I never wanted to get emotionally attached because of my childhood, and so I never slept with the same person twice. Always used protection, though. Now I'm growing up, I have stopped that a lot, and I've had serious relationships now. I don't think that one night stands are harmful, really. Maybe for some people, if they want more meaningful things, but nothing bad has happened to me, physically or mentally, so going on my experience, I don't think one night stands are bad. But lots of people disagree. It depends on the person, really. Good luck, and I hope you find the answer (:
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 November 2009):
Well, many of us have had a share of one night stands, but it's not going to get you anywhere, such as into a good relationship. It is more likely to get you into a bad reputation, and I at least hope that you of legal age as well as properly using the protection.
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female
reader, rose the relationship solver +, writes (24 November 2009):
 1 night satands are........BAD, you can get called all the names under the sun and then you can still end up pregnant. drunk sex is not the best thing to do
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