A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:He is 74. She's 30.First of all, let's say he is a thin, very attractive, elderly man. It may seem gross to some people, but she says she is actually attracted to him. It may be weird to some, but she said something about him is fascinating to her.Do you think the female would be arm candy or do you think he'd actually want to get to know her? My friend is very attractive, intelligent, has a career, and owns her own home. I do know she generally dates her age or a little younger, and it's rare that she'd even be interested in a 40 year old man, so this is odd to me.She has been having dinners with this 74 year old married man. (He hasn't had a sexual relationship with his wife in years, and he has claimed that his wife would be ok with the situation as long as it wasn't flaunted around her. His wife lives in England and he lives in the states, so does my friend.)Anyway, he doesn't call my friend everyday due a hectic work schedule. He runs some sort of international business. At times he does call to chat, but not on a daily basis. She sometimes feels neglected and wonders if he is honestly interested in getting to know her mind.He has only been calling to schedule these dinners with her, and to check in from time to time. He has expressed interest in taking her on trips to Spain and whatnot. He told her he's looking for someone to share the beauty in life with. He'd like it include sex sometimes, and said it could also lead to love. He told her that he is not in love with his wife and would like to fall in love with someone. He has left the nature of their relationship in her hands. She was kind of pushing the friend thing, but he said he can only do that for so long before feelings develop on his side. She hasn't had sex with him, but he has asked her if she'd be interested in that at some point. He recently went out of town and she had not heard from him for about a week, so she basically sent him an email agreeing to do whatever it is he wants. He responded within 3 minutes.Now she is nervous. Do you think he will actively pursue to sexual side of the relationship? Do you think he has any interest in her as a person? She is attracted to him, but she is so unsure of the situation.I hope she doesn't wind up pregnant.-although, I have heard men can become sterile as they age?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 November 2009):
 Aww the poor old guy is probably just trying to guarantee a line up of nursing home visitors.
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (4 November 2009):
 This old guy is a professional at what he does!! I have no doubt that your friend is only one of a string of women he has had relationships with...
Oh.. and the sex thing, yeah right.... first opportunity he will be right there with his viagra!!!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 November 2009):
 Sorry, did I read the man was married? Too bad, he sounds like such an awesome catch besides that. NOT!
My guess is that he's auditioning mistresses around the world. Fine if she wants to be part of a stable, but I think a successful independent woman would want a man who actually wants a relationship, not a business arrangment.
*poof!* (that would be me, gone, in that situation)
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (4 November 2009):
 Also, another point to question was how quickly he responded to her email. 3 mins after no contact for a week? Seems very convenient after she just agreed to do "anything he wants".
Hello people! He is only after her for sex. Not her mind. Tell her to be very very careful.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (4 November 2009):
What does she actually hope to get out of this relationship? Money? A husband? A lifestyle? A bit of a thrill?
Essentially she has just agreed to be his PAID mistress. He takes her out for fancy meals in return for "frienship" and the odd sexual favour. What does that sound like to you?
Warning bells should be ringing VERY loudly in her head. What about his wife? She lives in a completely different country! If she is after his money, then she won't get it if he pops his clogs. He is still married.
You need to tell your friend to open her eyes and run fast in the other direction to a guy her own age, with whom she can build a FUTURE. To be crude - how many 40 year old men are going to want to make love to someone who has had sex with a 70 year old?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): Yes men become sterile at ago 200, or when their heart stops whichever comes first. Please don't count on age making a guy sterile... bad plan...
This guys being 100% up front with her, freindship, lavish lifestyle, travel and he wants some sex now and then...
She needs to hear him loud and clear- he'll take her places she's never seen, but she's going to be expected to return the favor.
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