A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How/what do teachers deal/do with student crushes?For example: if a student had a crush on you, what would you do? and how would you know?
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (15 November 2009):
 As a teacher, we have rules. Each school will have a policy set out as to how to deal with situations like this.
If we find that one of the students has a crush on us, we monitor the situation, as often they are short lived and blow over within a few weeks. Whatever, we ALWAYS make a superior, head of dept, head of school, aware of what is happening, and our concerns. Even if we only have a suspicion that something might be going on, we still report it, as this is the safest way. It is all recorded, and dated officially so that IF anything was to happen that could have recriminations on us as teachers, we have some form of proof that we are innocent. At the end of the day this covers our backs as teachers - if we dont report it, then we could be liable for false claims of sexual abuse/rape/etc etc etc. Sadly, there are many kids who think it is funny to falsly accuse teachers of things like this, and many teachers have been put through horrific legal trials because it was their word against the student, and because you are children, we have to be proved innocent. Yes there are teachers who abuse their position and they should never be allowed to get away with it - I totally disagree with teacher/pupil relationships, but this type of teacher would not report any incident.
A good teacher will report anything that is out of the ordinary for the sake of the pupil as much as themselves. This is the safest option for everyone concerned, as young emotions are fragile and it is our job to protect YOU as pupils.
IF it develops, and the crush becomes more of an obsession, and we get sent notes, or the pupil becomes overtly touchy, or gets too close, then we call the parents, and discuss the situation with them. IF letters are sent, again parents are informed, as it is inapropriate behaviour, and could suggest prior abuse by the teacher, so we HAVE to be open and honest with parents at all times. If you are under the age of 18, then you are still classed as children in the eyes of the law, so parents HAVE to be informed about things like that.
Pupils think that we are not aware of their behaviour, but staff talk, and regularly discuss pupil progress and development. IF we have concerns about any of our pupils we always ask for help and advice - we have your welfare to consider first and foremost. We also pass our concerns on so we can keep an eye on the development of a pupil, across all lessons.
We are always on the look out for behaviour like this, and we have open door policies for dealing with one to one tuition and meetings, just to cover our backs.
I take it you have a crush on a teacher? I will advise you to try and focus on other things, and find a girl your own age.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 November 2009):
Each school has its own policy.
In general in the UK, I would say they would ignore it for as long as possible. And if they say / do anything then they would report it to the head master / head of department.
I have heard of cases here on dearcupid where people have written love letters and then had their parents called in and had the headmaster call them all in for a little chat about it.
Basically your best bet is to act normal and say nothing. Try to look at girls in your own year and see if you can distract yourself.
Good Luck!! xx
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