A
female
age
30-35,
*oxokatie
writes:My neighbor and I have been friends since we were 2 and now I have feelings for him cause we have been through like everthing together and we probly tell each other more then like a married couple! We are both 13... The other day he suggested that we become friends with benifits so we don't ruin our friendship by going out... Tommorrow we have a day off from school and he asked me to come over to his house so we can both get it lose our virginity... I don't know if I want to do this yet but I think I might love him and I'm afraid that if I don't he will get mad at me! What should I do?! Help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Cherrybell  +, writes (15 November 2009):
Dude, ok, im a 13 year old female as well!!! THERE IS NO effen way u guys should be havin sex @ age 13!!!!! Little life lesson, dont do it till ur married & like, over 25!!!!!!!!!! Question, what would Jesus think of you guys!!!!!
We r just kids, dont do it!!!!!! If u do, @ least us birth control, & a condom!!!!!!!!
A
female
reader, Kaitlywaitly93 +, writes (10 November 2009):
Weird... Read mine, they are almost identicle!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): Anyone else notice these are strangely similar questions? This one and this one: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-time-for-both-of-uswhat-can-we.html
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A
female
reader, PC85 +, writes (10 November 2009):
This must be very confusing for you. I think the fact you have asked this question means that you are not quite ready. I think you should wait until you are in a relationship. As you have said you think you love him if he doesn't feel the same and only wants friends with benefits then you are likely to get very hurt.Remember you only get a first time once. Make sure it counts and that you won't regret it.
I lost my virginity at a young age and afterwards i was very upset. It wasn't planned and it just happened. Now that i am with someone who i love very much i wish i had waited as its a very special gift to give to someone so make sure you mean something to them as well.
I do think you are abit young to be considering sex and that you should wait but whatever you do. Make sure you are not pressured into something you are not 100% about. xx
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A
female
reader, Wyinter +, writes (10 November 2009):
I can tell u this when I had sex it was because I wanted to not because someone wanted we too. The thing about it is that sex can be over rated and not what the hype is all about be to each its own. Remember one thing once u do it you can never take it back. Do want you feel is best for u and not the moment and make sure that it is with someone that you love. Please do it for you
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A
female
reader, Legioness +, writes (10 November 2009):
 13?? Huni, don't do anything, not yet.. Keep away from anything sexual for the time being. You're barely a teenager! Wait until you're older, of legal age would be ideal but if not, then give it at least a couple of years. The age of consent is there for a reason. Do you know the in's and out's of sex, anatomy and all that go's with it? Are you familiar with types of contraception and what are the myths and what not? Did you know that the younger you begin having sex the more increased your chances are of getting cervical cancer? Are you aware that you could end up with a terrible name for yourself by doing this at your age, and have a reputation? Did you know that getting pregnant and giving birth at such a young age could be potentially life threatening? Condoms don't always work, and i'm sure your mother wouldn't be too impressed you asking to get put on the pill. Don't be pressured into anything, it happened to me and I would do anything to go back in time and change the way I lost my virginity.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (10 November 2009):
 You are only 13!!! No no no! You are a CHILD.
This boy is just using you.
Firstly in the UK the legal age of consent is 16. This means that you are too young to consent to sex. Just to make it clear it is ILLEGAL to have sex before you are 16.
"Friends with benefits" is a very adult term, and to be frank you are a child. Even most experienced adults would not be able to cope with the emotional pain that goes with this type of relationship.
You are way to young to be even considering sex. Wait until you are 16, and understand all the emotions and implications that go with having sex.
Do you know the consequences of sex? Do you know it only takes one time to get pregnant? What about passing on diseases? Do you know how to protect yourself from these? Do you know how to use a condom? Are you on the contraceptive pill? If you answer NO to any of those, then you SHOULD NOT be even thinking about having sex.
He is a hormonally charged boy, and at the moment, he wants to have sex with anything. He doesnt like you, he just wants to use you. Please do not let him use you. Once you have sex with someone, you will get emotionally attached. You will want a relationship, he will just want sex. He will move on to the next cheap girl who will have sex with him. He doesnt care, he just wants sex. This is obvious by the way he wants a "friends with benefits" not a relationship. he does not want to "go out" with you, just to use you for sex.
Nice boys do not want to go out with girls who sleep around. Do you want to get a reputation?
You need to wait until you are older to fully understand what sex and relationships are all about. Wait until you are 16, and have been in a RELATIONSHIP with someone for at least 6 months. That means, dating, going out, doing things together and being comitted to each other.
You can only lose your virginity once. If you do it now, you will regret it for the rest of your life. The man you lose your virginity to will stay in your mind forever, and it should be a very special moment with someone you really care about and love.
Dont waste it by doing it with someone who doesnt care.
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A
male
reader, helpmesavethings +, writes (10 November 2009):
 Do not do it enless you want to, he will not be mad. If he loves you, like you love him, he will wait.
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A
male
reader, isaias15 +, writes (10 November 2009):
 i totally understand where your coing fromYou may love this guyhe may love you but love can go away from two people trying things they have not tried before,becoming partners, having sex and ll other steps in a relationshipneither of you guys are ready for the worst outcomehopefully you make the right choice and don't i repeat don't have sex with himyou guys can do other thingsso things that would please a 13 year old couple
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