A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 17 years old i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, hes 23 years old, ever since we got together we havent used protection once, i dont have to worry about STD's because we have been tested and we are both okay. the thing is i dont want to fall pregnant but how comes i havent yet? we have been having sex for 5 months and i havent fallen pregnant. does this mean i cant have kids or something? im going on the pill soon because i know i have to be more safer i just never actually got round to it. but im just scared that i cant have kids because surely i would have fallen pregnant by now wouldnt i?
View related questions:
std, the pill, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (21 November 2009):
 Have you gotten yourself onto some sort of contraception now? You really should get your boyfriend to wear the condom aswell - just in case you miss a pill (if thats the form youve chosen), and no form of contraception is 100% effective anyway so its best to use two! As you said, its both of your responsibility - you have to remember to take the pill daily, he has to make sure he's wearing a condom. As for not liking it, that really just is not an acceptable excuse - my boyfriend isnt hugely keen on them but uses them without a second thought because he has enough respect for me to want to protect me. Your boyfriend should have the same respect for you. If he doesnt, I'd question whether he's worthy of you, or ready to deal with the consequences of unprotected sex.
As for the pill only making you put on weight - it was also playing the pretty useful part of protecting you from pregnancy! Just switch to another brand which doesnt have this side-effect, really, this stuff isnt hard...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionif i did fall pregnant he wouldnt be out the door, we both love eachother and have been together for ages, he wouldnt leave me he aint the type to do that
...............................
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (19 November 2009):
 Sorry, but at age 16-17, if he doesnt like using a condom, then the answer should be "well thats just tough".
No condom = NO SEX.
The fact that he won't use a condom, even tho he knows you are not on the pill suggests that he is one selfish idiot, and doesnt care about the consequences. He is only thinking about his pleasure. There are many different brands, styles, shapes, sizes and thicknesses. If he can't find one he can deal with, then he shouldn't be having sex. Even men who are allergic to latex can get condoms made from something different. There is NO excuse.
If you had fallen pregnant, I expect he would have been out the door before you could say daddy... What would you do then?
Just be careful.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno i dont want a baby, if i did i would obviously admit it, the reason we use no protection is 1. because he dont like it, and 2.i dont ever think about it in the heat of the moment and never think its gonna happen to me, and luckily iv never had a pregnancy scare. i really dont want a baby at all i like my life too much such as going out having fun whenever i want, im not that stupid coz i dont want a baby, but yeah i admit im stupid for not using protection, but its both our faults not just mine.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): its pretty stupid having no protection if you do not want a baby! I agree with post above - deep down you obviously want a child - why on earth would you not use protection otherwise. Grow up
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 November 2009):
 Smart Girl!
Not all pills will make you gain weight. If the first one your doctor offer you gives you side effects you do not like go back and try a different brand.
The pill is 98% safe (from pregnancy) and condoms are only 80%, however I really suggest that the first couple of months of you taking the pill you use both, whether he likes using a condom or not.
...............................
A
female
reader, shell400 +, writes (18 November 2009):
it is not smart to have unprotected sex if you are not trying for a baby... get on the pill or make him wear a condom. just because you havent gotten prego yet, doesnt mean that you wont. and trust me, it will happen when you least expect it. you are too young for a baby and have your whole life ahead of you. get on the pill now... before its too late!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni can honestly say i dont even want a baby, just because i havent used protection once with him doesnt mean i want a baby its just i never thought it could happen to me until now it just hit me that i do need to start using condoms and go on the pill. my boyfriend dont like wearing condoms, and i use to be on the injection, the pill but all it did was make me put on weight so i went off it. i have been lucky so far not to fall pregnant, but anyway thanks for all your opinions and will go on some sort of conterception starting from tomorrow. thanks x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): wake up girl your too young to think of havng baby now,if he lied to you that he loves you & he wnt baby.my advise to u he is liyng,wat i can say is lov him hav a protected sex or us some pill u r too young 2 think of havng baby u shud be thankful that u r not pregnt now.to answer your question it doesnt mean u wil neva hav kids,i slept wth my boyfrnd more than two years not falling pregnant.by the time i decided to go to clinic to take some pill it was too late cause i was three wks pregnant.you wil hav kids when tym is right now u hav to use protection/take pills your too young you wil regret it girl.best of luck
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): If you walk out into busy traffic every day for 5 months then you are trying to get yourself killed. You can say you're not really trying to get killed and you just forget to look before stepping into the street, but the truth is obvious to anyone else who sees you doing this.
If you have unprotected sex for 5 months then you are purposely trying to get pregnant. You can say you're not trying to get pregnant, but the truth is obvious to anyone else who hears about what you are doing.
...............................
A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (18 November 2009):
 Why do you think you never got around to going on the pill? I think that on some level you do want a baby. At 17 do you really want to be responsible for another human being? Forget going out and partying (or whatever you do for fun), you'll be breast feeding, changing nappies and be too poor to do anything fun any more!
What about your boyfriend? If neither of you has used any protection so far, how would he feel about becoming a dad? The responsibility of contraception is a two way street! Use condoms until you have been on the pill at least a month, as it takes this long for the pill to have an active effect anyway.
Even if you were trying for a baby on purpose, lots of things can be a factor of why you haven't got pregnant yet. Work stresses, hormones (both of you) and various other things can take their toll aswell.
If you're concerned you could go and see someone at a fertility clinic, but as you aren't trying to have a baby at this time, just get on some form of contraception asap!
...............................
A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (18 November 2009):
 You're very lucky to not have fallen pregnant!! None of us can tell you if you can have kids or not, you'll have to speak to your GP about that. It doesn't mean that you can't get pregnant, it might also be him who isn't very fertile.Celtic Tiger - I don't know how long it's been since you went to school, but I don't think that these days our teachers even know what sex education is! I can only remember having one lesson at school, and I too am 17! And everything we got taught, I already knew from TV!I agree you shouldn't have sex without any form of contraception, but it shouldn't be just up to you to get something sorted, your bf should be responsible enough to think of condoms himself!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 November 2009):
NOT using any kind of contraceptives is like playing Russian Roulette, specially if you DON'T want kids.
BTW if you don't know what Russian Roulette is do a Goggle on it.
There could be many reason why you haven't gotten pregnant. However, jsut because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't.
...............................
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (17 November 2009):
Just thank your lucky stars you haven't!
You have been playing with fire here, and have been very very lucky. There is something you can do about this IMMEDIATELY! CONDOMS. Dont let him near you until he is wrapped up. If he has a problem with that, then he is a selfish sod.
NEVER have sex without them until you are in a completely secure long lasting relationship, and are firmly on the pill or some other type of contraception. Geez, did you not listen in sex ed classes? TWO methods are always advised, condoms + Pill ( OR patch, shot, implant, coil.....female condom, sponge,cap.....).
If you were not protected you should not have been having sex. Its very very simple.
I am sure there is nothing to worry about with your fertility, but you are only 16-17 years old. You have many years to start worrying about having a family yet!
You are not even an ADULT yourself yet. Children should be the last thing on your mind. If you were heading towards 35, then I would be far more concerned but you have a long time yet. You are still very very young, and altho you are old enough to have sex, your body may not be ready to bear children. Just because you CAN have sex legally doesnt mean your body is 100% ready. Sex isnt just something fun to do, it actually has a purpose, and I think a lot of people forget that these days. They also forget that it is our bodies, and not social practices that decide how biology works. Even women in the prime of their fertility often take a while to fall pregnant. Its the luck of the draw. Some girls fall the first time they have sex, others take months of trying. Its all down to the individual and the environment within your womb at any given time, because it changes with age, time of the month, temperature...
Bottom line, if you are that worried, book an appointment with you GP, to talk about CONTRACEPTION and also about your fertility.
Sorry to be harsh, but you really need a wake up call here.
...............................
A
female
reader, baboonj94 +, writes (17 November 2009):
 no really i thought i could not get preg bc me and my bf did it all the time and never got preg until the day of my period then i got preg
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 November 2009):
Maybe, maybe not. Some couples take years to conceive a baby. but if you are worried at all, then speak to a doctor. That's the only way to be sure.
...............................
|
