| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Im a 20 yr old guy and im in a relationships.i give my GF(also 20) a lot of advice/"maybe nagging" about things that i don't like...This sounds a weird Q to ask but am i acting like a 'nagging old loser'? for example when my GF went out for her friends birthday wearing a REALLY short skirt (i mean if she bent over you could easily see EVERYTHING!) i told her i didnt like her wearing things like that.Another thing, my GF sometimes tx me saying she's really in the mood for sex...or even sometimes about how she is pleasuring herself. Is this slutty..? because it doesn't seem very lady like to me? So i sometimes dont respond to them.Oh yeh...I've also told my GF that i dont like her getting drunk when she goes out (with me or her m8s).and also that i don't want her to go on holiday with her mates (she went last yr and ended up having random sex, she was single at the time but sill yuk!) Oh and i dont like her going to festivals, because she's always telling me stories about how at previous festivals she has given guys BJ's and had sex while staying overnight!I also tell her about how i like girls that like to cook n stuff (ie. have traditional qualities) rather than spending time in the pub drinking with her mates.But also i do treat her really well...im always there for her if she wants to talk or is feeling down. I make her laugh a lot and we're always havin fun adventures. She confides in me and takes my advice on board. If she's feeling stressed and unhappy i can ussually make her smile! I am the first serious BF she has had. And another thing i would NEVER cheat on her.Right tell it to me straight...1) Am i acting like a "nagging housewife" or are these concerns geniune? 2) If there is so many things i dont like is she the right girl for me?...or is this what most girls are like and traditional values are a thing of the past?Please be honest and give it to me how it is !!!Thanks
View related questions:
drunk, in the mood, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Angelina : ) +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Get a life. You seem good together but you have no right to try to controll her. If something really bothers you then you should be able to talk to her, but really, you know deep down which of those 'concerns' are actually concerns. But it really sounds like you are somewhat intimidated by the side of her that is so very differnt from you. Relax a little.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Hi there,
Well she seems like a normal 20 year old. And you seem like a normal 20 year old. But what you both want right now is so drastically different, how can you really find a place where you're both happy? You want a girl who acts like a "lady" and will cook for you, not drink very much, isn't very promiscuous, will wear clothes that are a little more conservative... and that's just not your girlfriend.
If you ask her to change for you and she does, she'll probably just grow to resent you for asking her to give up what she sees as fun. She's at the beginning of her wild years. Give her ten more years and then maybe she'll be ready to settle into being a person who you're more comfortable with.
There are lots of girls out there who are more of what you're looking for. A little more conservative, a little more traditional. I think you can find someone better suited for you. You and your girlfriend seem like fine people who are just a little two different.
As for the saucy text messages, that's probably her way of being sexy with you. She wants to be fun and a little risqué. If you're not into that, well - you're not. You can't help that.
I think you just need to find someone a little better suited for you, and I think there are tons of girls out there who can do it for you.
xxIndia
...............................
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 I think you see what you're doing as advice and she sees it as you trying to control her. There's nothing wrong with finding certain things wrong with your girlfriend but it is wrong to try and change her. I think she will settle down in time and maybe become the type of person you want her to be but you can't force her to change for you. It's her life. Try and imagine if the situations were reversed and she was trying to change you into someone you weren't. Hope this helps.
CD
...............................
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (13 January 2007):
 one thing i would never do is try to change someone they are who they are and if you cant accept them then maybes its time to look at youreself.. my ex constantly wanted to change me, oh i dont want you going out with youre friends unless youre with me giving me the if u do it will hurt me act..okay i maybe agree with the skirt thing, and when shes talking about sex it means she wishes she was with you being intimate its not being slutty..(then all women are sluts hahahahaha)
youre insecure with her thats easy to see you dont agree with her past but thats what it is her past so why should that effect right now if its not happening..
yes you have values and it seems their not the same( and now adays values is becoming the time of the past but doesnt mean you should give them up just because evryone else doesnt if youre happy with them then stick to them)
You shouldnt judge others it seems youre putting a downer on her mistakes more than looking up to her on her good points..
(interesting to know where abouts youre from tho to know still have some good values)
i think youre being strict with her, yes share youre opinions and say im not trying to nag but their are somethings i like an dislike, try to come half way with her be adult and discuss it..
she may or may not be right for you but if you are both making each other happy (when this things dont happen) then isnt it worth a try to sort it out ??? thats my opinion hope this helps xxxx A
...............................
A
female
reader, ingotblue +, writes (13 January 2007):
 I think that you should both be your own people, but in any relationship you both need a little give and take, compromise.
No I dont think she should be wearing skirts that short but that is from my point of view.
Sort skirts are nice if you have the legs but they should be decent.
As for her past you dont need to worry she loves you and will not be doing those things with other men, go with her maybe experience the atmosphere.
your gf is sharing those txts with you because she loves you and it is you that makes her feel that way and she wants you to know how much she loves you, She seems to be a fun girl to be with while I think that she could curb perhaps her drinking or lengthen her skirts, I think on the other hand you do need to loosen up and enjoy your time with her stop condemning her ways and begin to enjoy some of them with her.
maybe you should indulge in a little txt sex, it is done between two people that love each other that cant be together at that momnent.
...............................
A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (13 January 2007):
 Well they are your values and its up to you if you want to stick with them or not (no right or wrong on this one really). She has her own views on things and the two views are as far apart as they can get. You can either accept her as she is or find someone else. When your views are that far apart, I dont see her changing to conform to them
...............................
|
