A
female
 ,
*lower girl
writes:Hi guys has been a while since i last wrote quick update husband left me for another women, then he came back and decided he was going to go again. i told him he had to make a final decision and that whoever he chose he would be able to have no contact with the other one afterwards, he chose me but now she will not stop texting him and she goes into our coffee shop everyday to see him and he will not tell her to stop, has anyone got any advice for me on what i should do. i was going to call her, but then thought she would then know she is getting to me. how should i deal with this.xx
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (14 January 2007):
 I think you ask him to make sure that she knows he's no longer interested and that he loves you. If he's really annoyed by her texts I'm sure he'll be willing to change his phone number if that means having a fresh start. If he's not willing ask yourself why. I'm new here and I'm not aware of your whole story and while I think it's great that you're able to forgive everything that's happened I hope he's deserving of your trust. Hope this helps.
CD
A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (13 January 2007):
Know what you want. Then communicate it with your guy, and ask him if he agrees to the things you want. If he does, you should come up with a plan together, or a set of rules together. If he can't give you what you want, dump him, and find a guy who can give you what you want, and won't be unsure if he wants to be with you or someone else.
If I were you, and I had taken him back, I would say that it is fair that the price he has to pay for having left is to not see the other woman at all, especially if he has been unsure of who he wants to choose. If he keeps her in his life, he could fall for her again, and it is not fair for you to have to live with that insecurity of his temptation. It would not be unfair of you to insist that he change his mobile number. It would not be unfair for him to have to tell her that she can no longer come to your coffee shop. If he won't get rid of him. I am curious though, are you not in the coffee shop also, if it is yours and his? If I were in your position, I would have no problem telling this lady myself that she can no longer come to your coffee shop or see your husband because it is a disruption to your healthy relationship, and show her the door. If you are not there, it would not be unreasonable for you to insist.
Maybe a few years down the line, you can reach a place where the 3 of you are all best of friends and can joke about what happened, but for now, sad as it might be for your husband, he has to cut her out of your lives, and that is just the price you pay. Otherwise, you are out the door.
Good luck.
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