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| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
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I heard him saying he was annoyed because I hadn't gone to bed with him. I told him I was angry. How can I say I'm sorry?
Q. Having met a man on a recent holiday we became quite good friends but nothing sexual although he wanted to. The reason I didnt respond was becasue I heard him telling another couple in a loud voice in front of about 8 of us that he was anbnoyed...
A. 4 July 2008: it seems like this friendship was only platonic on your side and he has percieved this telling off as the brush off and moved on
or maybe not ... (read in full...)
I heard him saying he was annoyed because I hadn't gone to bed with him. I told him I was angry. How can I say I'm sorry?
Q. Having met a man on a recent holiday we became quite good friends but nothing sexual although he wanted to. The reason I didnt respond was becasue I heard him telling another couple in a loud voice in front of about 8 of us that he was anbnoyed...
A. 4 July 2008: it seems like this friendship was only platonic on your side and he has percieved this telling off as the brush off and moved on
or maybe not ... (read in full...)
I heard him saying he was annoyed because I hadn't gone to bed with him. I told him I was angry. How can I say I'm sorry?
Q. Having met a man on a recent holiday we became quite good friends but nothing sexual although he wanted to. The reason I didnt respond was becasue I heard him telling another couple in a loud voice in front of about 8 of us that he was anbnoyed...
A. 4 July 2008: it seems like this friendship was only platonic on your side and he has percieved this telling off as the brush off and moved on
or maybe not ... (read in full...)
My boss informed me that a passenger complained about my body odour! I feel this was over the top!
Q. hello, today at work i was pissed of quite a bit as my boss said that a passenger (i work in airport security) had complained about my body odour. now i have clean clothes and a shower before work every day and wear deodourant, no-one has even made ...
A. 4 July 2008: cheers-i'm all good now but it had me in a flap.
thanks for the help... (read in full...)
I made out with a guy that says he is gay, the weird thing is that he has a wife! What should I do??
Q. Well I'm a 16 year old, gay guy who takes tumbling. I recently came out to my instructor. After I told him he told me that he was gay to. Then he leaned over and started making out with me. But the weird is, is that he has a wife! I really like him ...
A. 3 July 2008: he will use you... (read in full...)
He's suffocating me and calls me names when he's upset! He always apologizes but it happens again, what should I do?
Q. I'm 16 and my boyfriend is almost 20. I completely adore him but he smothers me so much, it's suffocating. He won't let me have friends unless he knows everything about them. He questions me every time I meet a male (friend or stranger) as to ...
A. 2 July 2008: leave! have you not seen enough already? this man is jealous, abusive and lacks respect for you. this is not how your life should be-controlled by the insecurities of weak individual who doesn't listen.
has he changed since this break?
your wa... (read in full...)
He says I'm the only one he's had sexual feelings over, but in reality he is not gay. I've fallen in love with him, now what?
Q. Well I'm a 14 year old, gay guy and one of my best friends is 16 and doesnt exactly know his sexuality yet. Me and him have made out a lot and I've given him bj's (sorry 4 the tmi). He's told me that he's straight and that im the only one that he's ...
A. 30 June 2008: although what i wrote below sounds harsh i'm not saying dont have this relationship but be aware that it could have strange repercussions in what is known as the land of "freedom". i personally think be happy in life...
... (read in full...)
He says I'm the only one he's had sexual feelings over, but in reality he is not gay. I've fallen in love with him, now what?
Q. Well I'm a 14 year old, gay guy and one of my best friends is 16 and doesnt exactly know his sexuality yet. Me and him have made out a lot and I've given him bj's (sorry 4 the tmi). He's told me that he's straight and that im the only one that he's ...
A. 30 June 2008: maybe he is wary of that fact that you are four years underage in america and that although he is also underage by two he would be seen as the party responsible for causation were this to come out.
would he be classed as a sexual predator... (read in full...)
Will my 'bad looking' intimate area be a turn off for a guy??
Q. I have a physical problem with my intimate area,, I have a bit of an excess of skin. Not a skin disease or anything, just skin. But it does look ugly (as in not pinkish and rather dark). It was caused by me, masturbating as a kid, not knowing what I ...
A. 27 June 2008: if you have a lot of skin it wont be because of masturbation.
men wont find it ugly, but you clearly find it is affecting your confidence. if shallow judgement is such an issue then maybe you are the type of person who needs to be with someone ... (read in full...)
How long after graduation should I wait to date my teacher?
Q. so i just graduated from high school, and turned 18. my 26 yr old ex teacher and i def have a thing for each other...its way obvious, and he's lead singer in a band and asked me to go to one of his concerts on my birthday (which i did) and i told ...
A. 24 June 2008: wait six months max and then deny anything happened before-have some guts. sorry but your an adult so do what you want but get your story straight with him first. these chances dont come up that often...... (read in full...)
I can't let go! How do I get over "the one"?
Q. This has gone on for 3 long years. i was with a guy for a year,and i am absolutley, without a doubt, convinced that it was that once in a lifetime love. But we were to young, things messed up, i messed up - thought the the grass was greener but it ...
A. 24 June 2008: your screwing your sanity up into a paper ball and flushing it down the toilet with your misapraisal of this love game.
there is no such thing as the one, there are many people for everyone some better suited, others not and fixating upon somethin... (read in full...)
Do I act on these feelings for a male friend?
Q. I self-identify as straight because i have sexual feelings for girls and am repulsed be the idea of anal/oral/kissing a guy; however, I've been having sexual feelings for my MALE best friend (wanting to rub cocks/jack him off). Could this be ...
A. 23 June 2008: go for it if the situation presents itself-it may be a simple urge that you can get out of your system.
either way sex with friends often spells doom for the friendship or at least makes things awkward and opens up too much. unless it does dev... (read in full...)
I told her I fought with depression in the past, now she does not want to see me anymore! Is she thinking about us or really ignoring me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been seeing this girl for 2 months. At the moment we are in differnt cities about 1hr flight apart. A couple of weeks ago during a weekend visit to her, we were discussing our past experiences where I mentioned that a couple of...
A. 18 June 2008: how shallow and narrow minded-would she be there for anyone when they were low?
what about when she is low, who will pick up the pieces?
your better off without her as if you cannot trust someone then at least you know now although it soun... (read in full...)
Three's a crowd
Q. I have been 'shacking up' with my boyfriend for the past 6 months and for the most part things have been going well. Except one major thing. He loves to have his friends over, and it has gotten worse since they have all now recently graduated. ...
A. 10 June 2008: so he thinks you can do better? well maybe you can do better than him, or at least issue an ultimatum.
if you pay to live there which i'm assuming you do his friends are taking the piss, and his lack of respect for your needs and the fact that his... (read in full...)
He says the warts come from him suffering from diabetes, now I'm having them too! Is he being honest with me, or what is going on?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months and everything was going really well. Just after Christmas he noticed warts on the end of his penis, which he said were most probably linked to his diabetes. (this had been making the skin quite tight and ...
A. 6 June 2008: yeah maybe genital warts-see a doctor... (read in full...)
My husbands parents hate me and I'm pregnant, what should I do?
Q. My husbands parents hate me. His mother accused me of being a witch because I did Tarot for fun.They even offered him money not to marry me. Well we were married on June 23rd of last year, and it was wonderful. except for his parents, who even at ...
A. 27 May 2008: if your husband, the son (her own flesh and blood)of this mother in law feels that inviting her is a bad idea then maybe he has some sense.
dont invite this woman who is a problem causer and stirer, its your baby shower for a baby she has made it ... (read in full...)
Was I right to break if off with my fiance because of his maunipulative family?
Q. I recently ended my engagement to a most wonderful man for one reason: his family was rude and manipulative, and he would not stand up for me. It was such a painful process; everything else about our relationship seemed so perfect. The family was ...
A. 21 May 2008: people are most certainly like their relatives in many ways.
i would leave anyone who's family was treating me badly and who didn't stand up for me. you made the right choice.... (read in full...)
I'm too scared to admit my sexuality
Q. Hi cupid,i think im gay but im too scared to admit it to anyone. I go on gay chat but i woulnd't ever tell anyone? I'm only 14 and like girls and boys but boys more what should I do? Also I had sex with a boy!And now afraid he might tell someo...
A. 18 May 2008: relax- he is just as likely to fear people knowing as you so i doubt he would grass himself to people.
you are young and i would not recommend telling people in school as at your age people are immature/narrow minded/cannot cope with differen... (read in full...)
He is way more experienced in bed than me and I don't think I am satisfying him?
Q. Hey guys, i am going out with my boyfriend for 3 months now and mad about him. I lost my virginity to him and i dont regret it for one minute. The thing is that he is way more experienced in bed than me and i dont think i am satisfying him. He does...
A. 18 May 2008: he isn't going to behave like a woman having an orgasm, and frankly talking in bed unless there is a major problem (or someone needs direction-lack of inniatiative i class as major problem) is a bit of a wrong time and place scenario. blowjobs are ... (read in full...)
There's ranting and there's ranting, but his ranting is a little too much! I've had my rant, now it's your turn!!!
Q. I've been married to my new husband for 6 weeks now. When we first met, he was kind, loving and caring towards me - but now he's changed. At the wedding he ranted about everything - and about everyone at the wedding and in the wedding speech. ...
A. 10 May 2008: how long were you together before marriage?
long enough to know that this is a change from his real character (over a year or two)/ short enough for him to hide this bahviour and divert all the rants onto anyone else but you?
he sounds lik... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is falling into drugs again, what should I do? I need help desperately.
Q. This question seems so simple to answer from an outside perspective but for me it has been tearing me apart for months. My boyfriend and first real love is a drug addict. Since we first met he has had a problem with controlled substances,(benzos, ...
A. 7 May 2008: he needs to go to a doctor/psychiatrist and get counselling for his emtional issues from the past. If he likes to feel numb then antidepressants may help deal with his unwanted emotions.
drugs and their abuse are a poor form of coping mechanis... (read in full...)
Pros and Cons....is he worth it? He's changed a few things, will he change them all?
Q. My boyfriend, 30: Pros: Buys me flowers. Cooks dinners time to time. Helps clean house, dishes, tends the yard. Tells me I'm beautiful almost every day and that he loves me. Always calls me. Wants marriage, babies, the works with me. Good looking...
A. 7 May 2008: two nights a month does not in my mind constitute an addiction to coke-its a big waste of money and has law risk issues but in reality that is just a habit or choice of behaviour pattern.
the idea that addictions of any kind are unsolvab... (read in full...)
He says he can't handle my past, and he doesn't wanna lose me. He says I have to help him overcome this. My question is, how?
Q. Hello, I've been posting about my boyfriend not being able to cope with my past. Recently, he had broken up with me, today we got back together. Please, help me help him. When I went to talk with him today, at first, he didn't wanna see me. H...
A. 7 May 2008: if he is incapable of trust, and trust is the fundamental basis of a relationship, then he is incapable of forming a normal relationship.
if anyone is doing the dumping for the sake of their future wellbeing it should be you dumping him as this ... (read in full...)
He likes me, but doesn't want his family/friends to know he likes fat girls?
Q. I've been dating this guy for 6 months now and he doesn't want to introduce me to his friends or family. When I asked him why I havent met his family yet he said it is because I'm fat and he's not sure if they would approve. I've been ignoring him ...
A. 7 May 2008: people sometimes hide a girlfriend because they already have one...... (read in full...)
My friend's girlfriend is wrecking our friendship
Q. My friend has recently got a new girl friend. I think this is great, really I'm pleased for him. However, we are also good friends, and I enjoy our alone time where I can discuss things that I - perhaps - wouldn't feel comfortable talking about with ...
A. 4 May 2008: does this girl lack friends of her own and presume that a new boyfriend equals a set of new friends?
third wheel is boring and i would tell your mate that this is not what you want to play. he may enjoy rubbing his relationship in your face, if... (read in full...)
My friend's girlfriend is wrecking our friendship
Q. My friend has recently got a new girl friend. I think this is great, really I'm pleased for him. However, we are also good friends, and I enjoy our alone time where I can discuss things that I - perhaps - wouldn't feel comfortable talking about with ...
A. 4 May 2008: does this girl lack friends of her own and presume that a new boyfriend equals a set of new friends?
third wheel is boring and i would tell your mate that this is not what you want to play. he may enjoy rubbing his relationship in your face, if... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my nervousness when I talk to girls?
Q. I'm 19 year old guy, i have real trouble asking girls out or even making a move and talking to them. I'm not insecure about my looks, i'm kinda nervous about akward silences or something, how can i get over it?...
A. 23 April 2008: if there is an awkward silence between two people it is both of them causing the silence. if you run out of things to say then leave the converstation-simple!
if your on a date then talking will prevent kissing if it is used all the time when gap... (read in full...)
Should same sex marriages be legal, in your opinion?
Q. Hey so my question is should Same Sex marriage be legal? I think yes, but I would like to know what you think....
A. 11 April 2008: i am gay and i dont think i would want to get married apart from financial reasons, like home ownership. it has nothing to do with religion and everthing to do with depriving gays of financial benefits and monetary rights considering that they tend ... (read in full...)
My best friend just wont hang out with me, why?
Q. I have a friend that I've known since high school 10th grade. We used to always hang at her house and we've been to the mall ONCE out of our entire friendship. Whenever I call her up and say, "let's hang out or go to a restaurant" she always come...
A. 11 April 2008: do you make every situation about your looks because you consistently bring it up. people find this shallow and boring.
if i was at a wedding with a friend and they spent the whole time chatting up someone and then went of with them i would co... (read in full...)
I'm being blackmailed by the boys I had sex with...
Q. hi my names nikki and i have a problem with some boys in my school. i'm well known for being a slut at my school which im not proud of but i had sex two weeks ago with three boys from my school and another girl. i was told at the start of the week ...
A. 9 April 2008: get the law involved! if they came up with this to blackmail you then they might not have a tape at the moment but plan on making one next time if you fall for their bluff.
what a manipulative group of shits!
plus if everyone thinks your a sl... (read in full...)
I have a secret gay relationship with my friend, who is bisexual - and in an official relation with a girl. Scared he will eventually choose her over me!
Q. I'm 16, gay, but havent told anyone.. I recently started to get real close with my friend, he is also my age, we go to the same college, we actually havent been friends for that long, only about 3 months, but we actually became like best friend...
A. 8 April 2008: he is playing with you like a toy and i suggest you ask him to end it with her and see what he says. you clearly think that you have no right to be with him-either you fight for what you want or end it but playing around in gay limbo with your ... (read in full...)
I need to change myself or I will destroy this relationship for good!
Q. Hi I know this question has been asked many times, but I still have to ask ... I dont know what to do with myself. I am pretty jealous and I really don't want to be, cause I have the feeling I will destroy the whole relationship if I dont sto...
A. 4 April 2008: this happens because you actively choose to let your feelings control you. when you feel annoyed instead of coping with them ,and accepting that they are not productive, you think "right if only i can push these feelings on my boyfriend i will be ... (read in full...)
Do you think he may be gay??
Q. Hi guys I have a guy friend who is a little more than a friend but he is different than most guys I met. He likes to put lotion all over his body after a shower and keeps his place really clean....he also likes to clean his house and keep everything ...
A. 3 April 2008: your sister sounds shallow to say the least. she may well have an instinct that is accurate based upon subconcious observations, but to explain her judgement as a result of stereotypes is a bit thick.
maybe he is gay, but as for the house clean-
... (read in full...)
I have had post-natal depression and my partner left me, how do I get him back?
Q. i have a 13month son, and have been suffering with postnatal depression. my partner, has left us. saying that we no longer get on as i'm not the same person anymore. how do i get him back ...
A. 3 April 2008: if you cannot trust him to be there for you when you are in need of help then he is of no use in your life at all.
it is difficult to deal with people who have mental health problems but leaving them because you find it is a bit of a bummer i... (read in full...)
Is my fiance gay??
Q. I recently got engaged to a guy I've been dating for 2 years. When we first started dating, a friend of mine mentioned she thought he was gay. I dismissed her, however started paying close attention to his movements (upward little finger, ...
A. 29 March 2008: a gay porn long term burglary sounds implausible, an equally ridiculous idea is that it was a poltergiest in the telly that did it ("carol ann, come into the light")
he has clearly been getting his rocks off to bum bandits 5 and if your going to... (read in full...)
My husband hit me--should we separate?
Q. My husband told me tonight that we should separate. He says if I went away for a year and lost some weight and sorted my pms, out he would reconsider. I am very hurt. Last week he hit me over the head with a glass and caused injury. He says it ...
A. 28 March 2008: if one person glassed another in a pub it would be serious and they could get sent down. this bully has a lack of respect for you. if you had him prosecuted for glassing you and then got a divorce you would rake in his cash like there was no ... (read in full...)
Am I over-analyzing, or headed for heartbreak?
Q. Hi, I am a 26 year young attractive male. I started dating a guy about 2 months ago. I really like him a lot, and think I may even have loving feelings for him. I think that he feels the same way too, we have open communication, and we talk about ...
A. 28 March 2008: maybe you are the rebound which would explain why he jumped into everyday banality with you so quick (too quick for you to believe the sencerity of his intentions), the contact with the ex is not a good thing as you could become a superficially ... (read in full...)
We once had threesomes with my mate does he now like her more than he likes me?
Q. Hi I have been with me boyfriend for 3 years now, that is never a good relationship. He never cuddles me, we would never sit together on the sofa at home and we hardly ever had sex, he spent most of his time in the put as well. About 2years a...
A. 27 March 2008: this is what happens when you crap on your own doorstep...
leave this soiled situation with your child and make new friends and branch out. if a man you cheated on who cheats on you with your friend who doesn't talk to you is all you have then you... (read in full...)
I don't have a boyfriend because I don't like to "party"! Will I be single until I'm 30yrs old?!!
Q. I feel like im a loser and no guy my age will ever like me. I feel like this because ive had two bf's who have had issues with me about being a non drinker and not into partying all weekend, every weekend. My last bf dumped me because of this, he ...
A. 26 March 2008: i gave up drinking myself a couple of months back, although i do take ecstacy but you cant really do that very often (once a month is pushing it a bit too far), and spend a lot of time with people drinking. for the most part its ok for the first few ... (read in full...)
His friends party or me should I make him choose?
Q. Me and my boyfriend live quite far away, and i usually see him every other weekend, i didnt see him last weekend so im supposed to see him this weekend. The problem is is that hes going to his friends birthday,and there going out to bars etc. I c...
A. 25 March 2008: get a life, seriously
if you have nothing to entertain you besides your boyfriend you lead an empty life. try making friends or get a hobby.... (read in full...)
How can I leave my husband with out hurting my kids?
Q. To explain my question I have to give some back ground. I grew up with extreamly over protective parents and was never allowed to date. Two months after I graduated high school I moved out. Two days after I moved out I went on my first date and was ...
A. 25 March 2008: jump ship this man is a parasite and has spread his genes sucessfully and your making it work for him, and he wants you to stay while he spawns more cuckoo's for you to suckle.
its pure darwin nasties... (read in full...)
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