A
male
age
36-40,
*allon
writes:I'm 19 year old guy, i have real trouble asking girls out or even making a move and talking to them. I'm not insecure about my looks, i'm kinda nervous about akward silences or something, how can i get over it?
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male
reader, Kallon +, writes (23 April 2008):
Kallon is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks u all for your comments, i already realised alot of what you said , but seeing it there from someone else helped me realise deeper. I just need to find some strength to get over the first hurdle. Cheers people! x
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (23 April 2008):
 if there is an awkward silence between two people it is both of them causing the silence. if you run out of things to say then leave the converstation-simple!
if your on a date then talking will prevent kissing if it is used all the time when gaps come up (girls are more aware of body language-use gaps in talking to observe things, trust your instinct and follow it).
if silence can be achieved comfortably with someone in small amounts on a date this is no bad thing.
use your silence to turn the focus onto the girl by asking a question-thus seeming interested and giving your mouth a break and your brain a chance to catch up.
nerves are a good thing-embrace your fear turn it into adrenaline and let it power you up to increased awareness and get aroused by it (in terms of physiological senses).
Fear and adrenaline will improve performance if you recognise it is one of your own body drugs and that the high needs to be controlled (go with the flow of it-take time to breath and relax to use it well).
if you dont embrace fear and push out your boat into murky uncertain waters you'll never discover the new world of puntang that awaits. all crudeness aside-love is scary and only an explorer will ever find the treasure!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): Hello there
Firstly most men are rubbish at talking to women. they get tongue tied and usually mess up. even smooth operators mess up. Most girls dont want chat up lines and things like that, most girls want a man who is going to listen to what they are saying. It's the thought of going over and what you will say. this isnt always easy especially if its a girl u like. my best advice is to just take a deep breath chill out and just introduce yourself. Be yourself. not all girls find 1 person perfect it takes all sorts in this world and its just about finding that right person at the right time.
This is funny and u can try this if u wish but a good technique that does work is to go out one night in a random place not near home and just think of the worst thing possible u could say to a girl then do it say everything you wouldnt normally say be someone who isnt you. once youve done this the next time you see a girl you like you will think well hang on what is the worst that can happen i made a fool out of my self and that wasnt the end of the world.
Also most girls actually really like or appreciate guys coming over to talk to them and not just to look at them closer up but to actually engage in conversation.
It's the same with anything mate the more u try it the easier it gets. dont be shy just try it once or twice and you'll be surprised how more comfortable in yourself you will become.
good luck
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A
female
reader, **beentheredonethat** +, writes (23 April 2008):
you sound like a young good looking boy who has alot going for themselvs, i think you should see this barrier as a challenge.
be motivated, usually it will help just to throw yourself in at the deep end and see what happens. that way you will have experience to draw on whether good or bad. get out on the scene,girls like for you to make the first move so just complement them and how could they resist.
laughter is the best way to overcome akward silences so just keep the conversation light and have fun. remember if you can get a girl to laugh you can get her to do anything. ;-)
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Being a bloke is sometimes difficult as even in this day and age, women like the man to ask them out.
Awkward silences will happen with anyone and at anytime, so dont worry about them.
If you fancy a girl then try and get her on her own and say someting like:- im going to the pub saturday tea time if you fancy joining me, or there is a good film i want to see at the pictures if you fancy accompanying me.
Just say what feels comfortable, girls are not monsters and will know you are nervouse as they themselves will probably be.
Go for it and do the deed!!
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