| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: HiI have been with me boyfriend for 3 years now, that is never a good relationship. He never cuddles me, we would never sit together on the sofa at home and we hardly ever had sex, he spent most of his time in the put as well. About 2years ago me, my boyfriend and my best mate have had a 3some a few times that we all enjoyed but deep down i knew that my boyfriend liked my mate. When we all went out together thay would always flirt and i would get jealous all the time as he gave her a lot of attention. After a few years of me moaning to my mate how horrible my boyfriend is i found out that they were seeing each other. I did not want to admit this to myself or even tell my boyfriend or mate that i knew, i just carried on as normal. We all work together and i must admit that i slept with a few people from work behind my boyfriends back that only my mate knows about. I have also done some bad things in the past that my boyfriend has forgiven me for and we just plod along. I found e-mails and texts of my mate and my boyfriend and i went mad at him and hit him but did not say anything to my mate because of what she knows about me. He said to me that it has stopped now, and he would not see her. He also knows about who i slept with as my mate told him everything, I said it was lies and i did not do anything at all, he just left it at that, but not shure if he believes me. I could not bare to loose him so i made myself pregnant by him so he would not leave me. Then a few more months down the line i found out that they were still seeing each other as he told me that he missed her. I do not speak to her at all anymore so i lost a friend and do not have anymore mates, i do not want to loose my boyfriend as he is all i have. Is he just staying with me for the sake of the kid. I dont think he wants me, and he wants to be with my mate as he is always moody. He does not seem interested in the baby at all and we fight all the time. I just feel like an idiot now as he could be thinking of her all the time. I do not trust him at all and always check what he is doing and where he is going. I left my job and they could be togerther all the time at work now.
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 this is what happens when you crap on your own doorstep...
leave this soiled situation with your child and make new friends and branch out. if a man you cheated on who cheats on you with your friend who doesn't talk to you is all you have then you already have nothing, so leave this mess and move on. its going to have to happen sooner or later.
why stay in a relationship that was "never good"? out of fear, well i would be more afraid of staying and wasting more of my life in this pointless way than starting afresh with the world on a plate. stop settling for whatever comes along and build a life for you and the child
good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): Hi Sweetheart
This is a real mess, You could see your b/f liked your mate so you had a 3some..This obviously made him happy and they have probably been doing this ever sinse hunny, I could say you shouldnt have gone behind your b/fs back but I can see why as you needed some love and this was the only way you thought you would get it, It made you feel better about yourself for awhile..Then you told your pretend friend who fancied your b/f right from the word go...You wanted to keep him and got pregnant oh hunny thats not going to keep him..He has been and still is seeing this ex friend of yours probably sinse the 3som or even before and she was most def not your friend, You confided in her and she told him everything as she wanted him and that was her chance to seal it. Hunny you need to say goodbye to this one, Your self esteem has taken a huge nose dive as you have been looking for the love and not getting it and your best mate did the worst thing possible to you. They both are not worth it and are suited for each other as both are as equally untrustworthy..You need now to get your self back love your confidence your self esteem and start thinking of you, Everything that you have done is out of frustration and hurt and anger and it is not worth it sweetheart. You are worth more than this and so is your baby, Im sending you some links to help your self esteem and confidence as you really need to start believing in you now.....
http://advice7.com/emotions_feelings/confidence.html
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/index.html
Hunny I really hope you can get yourself back and get strong to deal with this, Have a read and when you are feeling stronger you will be able to deal with what life throws at you so much better if you need a chat message me hunny PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (27 March 2008):
 Oh dear, what a mess. One of the reasons why NOT to have a threesome! Why on earth would you even consider this when you knew deep down your boyfriend like your friend? It was silly of you to go behind your boyfriend's back and see other guys and even sillier to tell your friend about it! Of course she's going to tell your boyfriend, she's crazy about him!!! I don't know why you call this girl your "friend"? Friends don't go behind another friend's back with their boyfriend.
You can't make someone love you and getting pregnant to keep him was a silly thing to do. As you can see it doesn't work! The best thing to do is leave them to it and you concentrate on yourself and your baby. Even if you did still work, they'd find some way to see one another anyway.
I think you're far better off without BOTH of them! You have all been disloyal here, you seeing othe guys behind your boyfriend's back and your boyfriend and your friend seeing your each other behind your back. Sounds like a recipe to disaster. MOVE ON, grow up and concentrate on being a good mother to your child. LEARN from your past mistakes with future relationships.
~Eve~
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