A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 27 years old, almost 28, and I've never had a serious relationship!! I dated a guy for almost a year, 2 yrs ago, but that is the longest and most legit "relationship" I've ever had, but it wasn't serious. I'm cute, smart, and funny, I'm not a troll, and I'm not a stage 5 clinger or mean. I have lots of friends, and I'm pretty independent actually. But clearly there is something wrong with me that no guys want to be with me. Am I doomed to walk the earth alone like the Incredible Hulk?I really haven't met many guys lately who gave me that special feeling. Not because I'm super picky, but I don't have a lot of chances to meet single men! The guy I dated for 9 months..I wasn't into him in the beginning, he was really into me (at first), but then I grew to love him, then he took me for granted..and finally he moved away and that was that.I've tried internet dating but that's been a waste. I go on at least one date a month with a different guy I meet, but none seem to stick, usually because they just wanted to have sex or there's no chemistry. Am I a total loser? The oldest person to never have an official boyfriend? Do I have a man-repelling scent I'm unaware of? Help! God this is depressing.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty Honest  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 Don't panic! Yes, you are normal. It sounds like you've had plenty of experiences and relationships (even if they're not boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.) There's nothing wrong with you.
You describe yourself as independent, perhaps you are so independent you're quite detached from the men you date? There really isn't anything wrong with that-in my opinion, it's who you are, and sooner or later you'll find a man who loves that.
I think you need to move past feeling like the Hulk! Because wondering if every guy who comes along will be the big relationship will (subconsciously) affect your behaviour towards them, and quite possibly become a source of distance, anxiety and uncomfortableness between you. If you walk around like you don't need a man they will gravitate towards you! And it doesn't sound like you need one, you're good looking, independent, with loads of friends! I think the best relationships aren't based on a mentality of "I want a boyfriend" but "I want you." Because if you're honest, you don't want a boyfriend you don't feel a certain way about. So think of it that way, you don't want a BOYFRIEND but you want someone to change your mind.
In the meantime don't let it sap your confidence, lots of people get to 27 without ever having had a serious relationship, lots of people get to then without ever of having a kiss, or sex or a date! So trust me, you're completely normal. You sound like you have alot going for you, and you just haven't found a guy worth getting serious about. Have some fun, you're still young and the rest will fall into place!
Hope that helps
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