A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think i have a really high sex drive. This in itself is not a problem but im just wondering if it is normal to have one as high i as i believe i have.I get myself off at least once a day and on some days it can be up to 5 or 6 times. I don't have an obsessive character, am no way obsessed with it and it doesn't interfere with my everyday life, i just like it. I read alot of romance novels (i do, however, know that sex in real life is a far cry from that in novels). I have also watched porn before but i feel really dirty after i have watched it; it is a strange feeling because while i am watching it i don't mind it, but as soon as i have finished, i can't believe i let myself watch it. I have never had a boyfriend, nor had sex. In social situations i am normally very quiet and find it quite difficult to express myself and interact with people let alone a member of the opposite sex. I not socially inept or a loner; i just have low self esteem and confidence issues. I really want to have sex but i feel that when i do i will be unable to enjoy it because of how i feel about myself. And if i am unable to enjoy it then i probably wont have enough to satisfy myself. Also i'm worried that i will not like it as much as i do when i go solo. You may respond that you have to teach a guy as to what you like but how do you do that?I'm worried i wont be able to convey what i want.So i guess i'm wondering if it is possible for a guy to like a girl who is generally very quiet, and can be quite awkward in social situations, but still like to go out with her and have sex with her? I know the answer would be a straight YES if you go by the stereotypical view that guys will have sex with anything with legs and a vagina, so please just answer as true as you can to real life!I have been very unsure about whether to post this problem on here as it is pretty personal and not something that i would normally discuss with anyone.So thank you for replying, any insight is greatly appreciated!
View related questions:
confidence, never had a boyfriend, porn, self esteem, sex drive, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 July 2011):
 You're normal.
A
female
reader, Aunty Honest +, writes (28 July 2011):
 It's a shame you feel this way because you have absolutely nothing to worry about! Having a high sex drive is completely normal and healthy. As you said "it doesn't interfere with my everyday life" and I think that until it does, then it in no way constitutes a problem. (And yes there are plenty of guys out there who would be thrilled to be with a girl with a very high sex-drive.)However, you should certainly not feel "dirty" for having a high sex drive. There's no limit to how much you should be masturbating, it doesn't hurt anyone, it's safe and it's a completely usual way to explore your sexuality-it certainly doesn't make you dirty. The same applies to porn. The thing about fantasy, be it books, visual aids or your imagination is that it allows you to explore sides of your sexuality in a safe and private way. It's completely healthy.. I was reading just the other day that lots of women fantasise about violent sex, lots of straight women fantasise about other women and lots of women watch porn. Most of them would hate to live out whatever it is they get off to in reality, and some feel ashamed afterwards but its actually very normal and healthy. As long as your not putting anyone, including yourself, at risk then allow yourself to enjoy it. It's just a fantasy, it's harmless. Besides-noone need know! It's private, it's safe-enjoy. You're clearly feeling a bit conflicted about sex. On the one hand you're very curious, on the other you're nervous. Again that's completely natural! Shyness and insecurity is something that alot of people feel will hold them back sexually, but it doesn't have to. The trick is to find someone who puts you at ease, makes you feel good about yourself, and take your time until you are truly comfortable with that person. I'll be honest, sex might not be instantly mind-blowing, it rarely is overnight, but you get there. It's a learning curve for everyone no matter of age or experience. You might not always like it as much as when you "go solo." But sometimes you will and sometimes you won't-either way you can still like it! (You might even like it more.) As for teaching them what you like, noones expecting you to give a biology lesson. You learn together with a new partner. And even if you're too shy to ask for what you want straight away, regular masturbation means you know your own body and will instinctively be able to make sex more pleasurable for yourself (say a subtle shift so they're hitting the right spot.)And yes guys can like girls who are shy, some guys love that! Just how girls can find all different personality types attractive. Being quieter can make you more intriguing, being shy can make you more endearing or likable. It's in the eye of the beholder and there are certainly men out there who will like your personality! And yes they will still want to go out with you and sleep with you (and it won't be because they screw anything that moves it'll be because they are attracted to you.) Hope that helps.
...............................
|
