A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Will I ever be enough for him?My boyfriend and I have a one year old child together, he also has two other children that he has full custody of. He never puts my sons needs first, me and my son are always coming up short of spending any time him. He kicked me and baby out of the house and made me quit my job to stay home with the baby and a few months after giving birth he throws us out. He says he loves me and wants to be a family. But I don't see how when it seems were not important to him. It would be easier if I hated him but I love him because when things are good they're great. And he is a good father to our son when he takes the time to spend with. I do everything for him given up so much for him. I just want to be with him. But I don't think I'm good enough for him what do I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 July 2011):
 I am not sorry to say that this man does not seem to love you the way he should. His kicking you out of the house was absolutely incorrect and wrong. It was also wrong to ask you to stay at home and be a housewife.
You need to stand up for yourself and your baby. Don't let him treat you both this way. You can't close the door on him, but it is my honest advice that you end the relationship and find someone else who does respect you as you deserve to be respected.
Wish you the very best.
A
female
reader, Aunty Honest  +, writes (28 July 2011):
 I'm sorry to hear how awful this guy has made you feel. You don't think you're good enough for him? Then your boyfriend has truly rocked your confidence which doesn't make anyone but him "not good enough." It seems to me that when we love someone like that, we can feel such a lack of security from that person that we constantly worry that they might leave us, that this or that might put them off, that we're not good enough. So much so that we forget to think about ourselves. What about you? What about how good he is for you? What about what he does wrong to you? And even more importantly your son. You're both people too. With your own needs that, as hard as it is, he's not meeting.
It's so much harder when you're in love with him. But he made you quit his job, he mistreats you, he threw you both out! This guy is being emotionally abusive, and it will probably only get worse.
Mostly, you have to think about your son. He might be lovely to your son sometimes, but it's not enough. He might love you both, but he's clearly incapable of loving you how he should. Your son needs stability and the more erratic your husband is the less happy he'll be. A child can't do well in a home from which he may be chucked out by an emotionally abusive parent-none of which is your fault. It's his.
I'm sorry to say that you need to start putting yourself (and baby) first, because unfortunately it sounds like your boyfriend hasn't, and isn't going to.
I think both of you deserve far better than this and as much as you love your boyfriend, no matter how much he can be nice when it suits him, neither of you can live like this indefinately.
Hope things look up soon.
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A
female
reader, kairi3811 +, writes (27 July 2011):
 Its sounds to me, dear, that you and your son are too good for him. You have to also think from your sons point of view... He shouldn't be kept in that situation... he needs a father figure who is willing to 110% in for him.. nothing less.. Plus, to MAKE you quit your job then kick you out. No. I am sorry, but that's not okay. I realize you love him, but you have to love yourself and your son more. I say if I were you, I would get out of that situation. It's not right for him to treat you or your son that way. You deserve better. I hope my thought helped at least a tad and I do wish you and your son the best of luck!
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (27 July 2011):
 You need to leave him. You will always be treated this way by him. If he really loved you, he wouldn't have kicked you and his own child out. You deserve better, and he won't change, so find someone else.
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