A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: He came as a visitor whom I received. I was almost 18 and he was 29. We texted each other after our official meeting. He was very flirty and asked whether I was single. We planned to have coffee, but he got lost and his tour guide picked him up. He wanted to meet me later in the evening, but I refused to meet, knowing that he would leave soon. In the airport, he called me and asked me to remember him. We keep in touch on Facebook. Though I wanted this to stay platonic I accidentally developed an attachment towards him. Time passed and we started to become more intimate in conversations, we talked about our interests, and even said dirty things..this kept going on for more than 1 year. However, I just found out that he has a girlfriend in his country, despite back then when I asked he told me he was single. I confronted him. He admitted that he had someone with him. I felt very hurt though I'm aware that he is in a different stage of life. He tried to come back before, but in vain. I know even if he succeeded, he probably won't stay longer than 2 weeks. I began to doubt if he ever loved me.. But he said I mean a lot to him and spent a long time comforting me. I find it very difficult to break off contact with him because I have taken it a bit seriously and invested my time, effort and most importantly my true emotions. I never thought be caught up in this mess.Note: I'm a legal adult. I never slept with him.Q1:Your general advice? Q2:Should I stop contacting him completely and unfriend him? Do you think he would be hurt if I did?Q3: Do you think he just wanted a fling? If so why does he bother to remain contact when we are so far apart? Q4: Is it possible to be just friends?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Agneta  +, writes (2 December 2012):
 Q1: General advice is to ask him what he wants from you. If I would guess what happened, then I would guess that he probably did like you after your meeting and didn't want to let go even though he knew he was not going to stay and even though he had a girlfriend. I also guess that you liking him made him feel very good and that he didn't want to let go of that either. I think he is a selfish man who gets something out of knowing he has you to like and admire him from far.Q2: I think that the best thing for you would be to stop contacting him, unfriend him and go on having a real life meeting guys who are around. Whether he would be hurt or not is not important here. What is imported is that you stop getting hurt over somebody you will most probably not meet again.Q3: see Q1, you are feeding his ego.Q4: Probably not since friendship was not what was on the agenda from his side in the first place.You are worth so much better than having this internet friend that holds you back in real life. You can continue having this but I think it will just lead to you getting more frustrated, hurt and eventually you will find you wasted your time.Good luck!
A
female
reader, Mint93  +, writes (2 December 2012):
Hello,I would say that this guy wants to have his cake and eat it as well!The fact that he lied about his relationship shows that it was something he needed to hide from you.I think you should try and move on and forget about him.If he was really bothered he would have broken up with his girlfriend and begged you for forgiveness.He's not worth your time!You deserve so much better.Good luck.
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