A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Aunts,this is a work relationship question. Recently two women where I work had a fall out, not major at all, but one reported the other to our manager.When the other came into work she got disciplined and she walked out as she didnt want to work the shift with the woman who reported her.The one who stayed has got everyone feeling sorry for her. Others are taking her side.I know from my other friends that she's really sly and tells lies and i think so too, now the woman who was disciplined has been sacked and I don't think it's fair.I have tried to say what i think but I'm young and nobody listens.My mum says just stay, but look for another job so i am.The one who got sacked is really nice and much better at her job.My question is is it always like this at work do people always take sides when others lose their jobs?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): i asked the question
thanks ALL for your answers and time.I dont think cerberus is right she wasnt unpopular till all this and the women just took the ones side who stayed to keep in with her
I am keeping my head down cant wait to leave now.
Thanks Abella i will read up on bullying and when i get the new job will take what i have learnt from all this and the advice ive had. :o)
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (3 October 2012):
 Sometimes work politics are like this. And unless you are in good with your boss and she sees you as a person who can be impartial and objective (and honest) there's not much you can do. I would switch jobs. The evil woman in this picture is on a power trip. You could be her next target.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 October 2012):
 I agree with your mom, it's time to look for a new job.
Things are never black and white. Specially when it comes to "office politics". If you have a weak or bad manager who rather have "kiss-ass" employees things like this is not uncommon. It makes for a hostile work environment and that really sucks.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 October 2012):
 yes, a toxic work culture usually means that over the years management has recruited people like themselves.
It takes a person of principles to highlight how few principles the management have in that nasty workplace. But most times the person of principles is from then on given a very hard time by the existing employees. And management flaps around making out it's not happening.
Such work places exist and are best avoided.
You will find a better workplace. Read up on bullying so you know some of the signs of a bullying culture at the outset.
Stay all sweetness and light while IN that toxic workplace. Don't even hint that you are looking for a job elsewhere.
But definitely start looking.
You can never reach your full potential in a nasty workplace. Because such places are full of unacceptable cliques.
You can't learn good transferable skills in a toxic workplace because toxic workplaces have an inconsistent way of managing. They overlook unacceptable actions of the favoured employees and come down hard on good employees for the slightest reason.
Once you are in a professional workplace you will get equitable treatment, access to training that is consistently fair.
You will be recognised for good work. You will be promoted on merit. You will be treated with respect.
Be proud of the work you do do. Try your very best to do well.
And go full steam ahead to find that new job.
Also don't be critical of the toxic place to your next employer - just concentrate on demonstrating how positive, motivated and well organised you are.
Others may know how bad the place is, but initially a new employer will find it off-putting if you want to be critical of your current employer.
Good Luck in your new job
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 October 2012):
 Yes office politics are sometimes very catty. Stay out of it, it's highly unprofessional and makes you look bad to get involved. Keep your head down, do your work and if another job comes along take it.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (2 October 2012):
 Hi
It is common yes in places where there are cliques, I think the woman who was sacked was let down by management and her colleague(s),you should always listen to both sides,I dont see a disagreement between 2 colleagues as something to be reported or sacked over.More to be resolved in some way over a coffee !
I think your Mums right,you should look for another job or you will always be wondering when its your turn to be hauled over the coals.Normally there is a pattern of this type of thing and if a persons face doesn't 'fit' the main players will just wait their chance to get rid of them.Sad but true.Just keep your head down and good luck with the job hunt. x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 October 2012):
 It's office politics.
sometimes I have to remove folks from our network because they've been "escorted from the building"... they may even be friends of mine. I do not take sides.. even when asking to contribute information I collect that is used to help fire folks without them getting pensions and severance pays I do what I am asked without question or comment publically what I say and think privately and with my friends is a different story) It's a job, not my entire life.
Your mother is wise... keep your head down, and your mouth shut... if you are unhappy at work, look for another job (do not quit till you find a new one, the give 2 weeks notice)
accept that folks will have opinions that you will not agree with... keep your nose clean.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): Yes OP most jobs are like that. It's simple "office politics".
OP it's very fair that she got fired, she got disciplined for their falling out and didn't fight her corner instead she threw a huff and basically tried to blackmail the management by saying she wasn't going to work the hours they gave her, basically said she'd choose her own hours.
I'd fire her on the spot too. Who looks like the bad guy in that to the boss OP? She does and she made herself seem ten times worse by making demands.
Not only was she reported by another colleague for verbal abuse, she then storms out and demands not to be put on the same shift as the other one. That to me is a trouble-maker OP and she'd be out the door of my company.
OP you like to think she's better at doing her job but acting the way she did and not being able to resolve the situation with this other woman in a way that benefits her means she's not just a bit of an idiot but she's not a good team player. The boss can only work with what they see and are told and she didn't exactly cover herself in glory.
Most jobs have a person like that one you think is "sly". Someone you have to identify early and always maintain a mutual respect with if you want to stay working there. Obviously you never take crap from anyone but I find if you stay out of their way and keep them a bit sweet you never have any trouble from them.
"I have tried to say what i think but I'm young and nobody listens."
Don't do that again OP, it's not your job to fix the world and you only threaten your own position by being viewed as a nosey troublemaker. Let other people sort themselves out, never get involved. Always do your best to keep everyone relatively sweet and don't stir shit. OP you're there to make money right? That's all, you're not there because you want to be and wouldn't be there if you weren't being paid, your job is to take care of yourself and to make sure you get your paycheck at the end of the week/month, that's it.
You see OP the one who stayed played the game, she understands how it works. She's kept the important people sweet, is liked by more people than the other girl and didn't make demands. When they had a falling out and she knew she could have the other girl reprimanded that's what she did and OP you may think she's sly but she's not, she's smart the other girl obviously went too far and she got reported for it.
OP read your post again, you too are taking sides, you even tried to speak up in defence of the other woman. That woman lost her job through her own actions and rightly so. No one wants someone on their team who is disliked by the others and makes demands like that.
Look it's not that extreme in every job, but you have to be prepared to play the game a bit if you want to get ahead in any career, being good at the social aspects of your job is as important, and in some cases more important, than how good you are at your job. A person whose work is average/adequate but is liked by their colleagues is in a far better position than a person who is a genius at their job but disliked by their colleagues. Team work is an exceptionally important thing in most jobs. You'll get away with a lot more by being liked than being brilliant at your job, remember that.
Most of all though OP, don't let what happens to other people bother you, she got fired because she's an idiot, even if you like her more, even if she's better at her job it doesn't matter, she failed miserably at team work and office politics and that's very important.
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A
female
reader, Agneta  +, writes (2 October 2012):
 No, not always. But it happens. Often the weaker the leaders of a company is, the worse the climate in between the employees who get unsecure and scared and might tend to take sides with what is more secure for them. You are brave to try and speak up, or at least question the situation. That is what can make a difference in the long run, to communicate, discuss and support each other instead of just taking the side that seems less dangerous for you. There might be so many reasons behind what happened and taking sides is to say you know everything around the conflict, which I would guess most of you don’t. And taking sides just steal your energy anyways. Better then to do what you tried doing, to question and discuss solutions to a conflict that enables a better work climate where you don’t have to be sacked just because you have a fall out with somebody in your office. If you’d fail, you can still feel proud over yourself.Continue being brave and fair, but follow your mom’s advice to look out for better job opportunities for the future. Like with love relations, bad parties don’t deserve you :).
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