A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im in a ldr with a wonderful girl for about 8 months, i've been introduced to her friends and family, in fact we spend christmas and new years together. i have pictures on my fb showing us together and she has shown me in other ways she cares about me but she doesnt change her fb status to a relantionship. her status its been blank since a met her for the first time over a year and a half ago and she does not add or comment on mostly anything except to her very close friends. ( but she has a large number of aquitances)she doesnt even has a profile pic. any toughts on why she refuses to change her status? she says fb is not important and wants to be away from drama. i've seen similar post from girls but none from guys, im i over reacting? any toughts?
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female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (25 January 2013):
 My toughts is why does it matter that facebook knows. Are you a girl this seems like some thing a girl would post of her boyfriend. She might not want people to know not cause she ashame but that could be a reason. She might not want to compete
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (17 January 2013):
 OP, she sounds like a passive Facebook user rather than an active one; she goes on to see friends photos etc but doesn't really post much herself. I am much the same.
I simply wouldn't want to draw attention to myself on FB by announcing "I'm in a relationship". I also wouldn't want all the acquaintances to see it, start commenting, give thumbs up, etc. It's private!
It's not that FB doesn't matter. It does matter and her privacy matters to her, hence why she won't do something that makes her uncomfortable to make you happy.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 January 2013):
You're trying to look at it the way you think about it instead of the way she thinks about it. It's not just that it's not a big deal, but she also likes a little bit of privacy.
You shouldn't feel that there's a problem just because you haven't "branded" her on FB.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much all of you for your feedback. yes, i may be over reacting a little bit. im just wondering that if fb is not such a big deal for her, why not make me happy and change her status, after all fb is doesnt matter, right?
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (16 January 2013):
The important thing is that she's introduced you to her family and friends. She's not trying to hide you away.
Like me, she's probably seen so many relationship updates from other people on FB that she finds it tedious and doesn't want to be a part of all that.
Also she sounds like a private person since she doesn't have a profile picture. She might not want all her FB acquaintances to know about her private life, which is fair enough. As long as the important people in her life know about you, it's nothing to be worried about.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): I really wouldn't worry about it, I'm female and I'm like your girlfriend and I don't really bother with my facebook. I think it depends on the person because some people feel the need to update every second of there life and other people find it less important.It sounds like from what you wrote that she really cares about you and the fact that there are other parts of her facebook that she doesnt bother updating so this proves that facebook isn't that important so I really wouldnt let this worry you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 January 2013):
 My husband won't even have a facebook page... all I say on my page is MARRIED... not anything about who.... but I don't live my life on facebook (contrary to what many of my friends think)
You are 30-35 not 13-15. I had to check the age. I totally think you are over reacting... many of my friends have facebook pages and dont' update them.
Facebook is NOT the arbiter of your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): Are you seriously that reliant on Facebook to determine your "realtionship status"???
She doesn't even have a profile picture or is an active facebook user...why would that be important to her?
Yikes.
I completely understand this girl is your girl and you are proud of her and the relationship you have with her and you want to shout it from the rooftop! That is incredibly sweet and very touching. But please, you are not a teenager and she is not as attached to facebook as you are. One should have nothing to do with the other.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 January 2013):
Her answer sounds reasonable to me. It sounds like you're into fb a little more than she is so your expectations are a little different, but I don't see any reason to be thinking there is more to this than her explanation tells you.
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A
female
reader, Agneta  +, writes (16 January 2013):
 Not all people want everybody to know everything, especially if there are very many aquintances on there. I would not have put up that information myself on FB, which I use pretty much as your girlfriend does, i.e. almost never and for almost nothing. My in real life friends know what is going on in my life with or without fb (my 3 absolutely closest friends never even signed up to FB) and real life is what counts in the long run, don't you think?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 January 2013):
 Some people are not into facebook. If she was leaving it as single that's one thing, but some people just don't like to share much of anything on their facebook. Unless she's also behaving strangely in other areas of your relationship, I don't think you have anything to worry about. I know lots of couples who prefer to leave that area blank. Just so long as it's blank and not "single" it's fine.
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A
female
reader, Dayzy +, writes (16 January 2013):
Perhaps you could wait a few months and see if anything changes. 8 months is still early days. If you are getting on really well and are enjoying each others' company why spoil it? FB isn't the be-all and end-all. If you think however that she seems cool towards you or is covert about your relationships with friends and family you may want to ask her if you think you have a future or if she would like to keep the friendship open. Take her at face value, not FB value.
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