A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 12 weeks pregnant, It was planned and am very happy. The problem is my "friend". I had my first child in 2011 and when I told her (call her sue) she stopped talking to me. She was jealous as she had been trying with her partner since they got together, even though that had only been for a few months, with no success. She didn't talk to me until I was due with my first and it was me that started contact again.By then sue was pregnant herself and a few month later had her child. I know she wanted another one straight away and therefor had never used protection but nothing. We was only trying for a few weeks before I fell pregnant and she knew this. I told her straight away when I found out.She was fine though I had noticed she had been going on about getting pregnant a lot more then usual. Now It has been almost 2 weeks since she has called/texted me. I did try last Tuesday but only had one reply. Now I am wondering if to bother as this is the second time she has done this and this time I really don't understand as she has her son. So it is not like she is childless like some people are. I don't have many friends actually she is the only one I class as a proper friend, I don't want to loss her but I don't want to keep this friendship if it dependent on if I am pregnant.Should I try and keep my friendship on track or just leave it and she what happens.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 June 2013):
 Why ? ..It's called tact.
Ok, then do talk about your pregnancy all you want and how happy you are- just though do not be surprised if she does not want to be around you. Call her immature, call her envious, - anyway, she does not feel comfortable around women gloating about their new pregnancy, this brings up in her feelings of inadequacy, anxiety ,wistfulness...
You don't HAVE TO spare her feelings , - same as she does not have to seek the company of people who always talk about things that make her sad.
If I am in dire straits economically and my friend wins the lottery- I can be genuinely happy for her AND at the same time not be willing to accompany her around in her shopping sprees, to watch her buy all the nice things that I can't afford.
A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (25 June 2013):
I think your friend is being immature. I would understand her reaction if she had been trying to get pregnant for years, but since she successfully had a child already & seems to be similar age to you, wheres the problem? I would stay friendly with her but keep an eye out for better friends, in all honestly she isnt being fair to you and is making an issue out of something which should be a happy time for you both.
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A
female
reader, Agneta  +, writes (24 June 2013):
 This can be a very complex situation for your friend. I am sure she is happy for you, even was the first time, but still feels very sad for her own situation which could create guilt within her when feeling jealous towards you. You say you class her as a proper friend and she probably is. Be patient with her and let her have her sorrows without making her feeling guilty about it. If she would act bad or say bad things to you you must of course tell her it makes you sad to hear, but maybe sometimes she just needs this time on her own to deal with her sorrows. It can be just about her and not about you. Don't hide you happiness but no need to "rub it in". Be yourself and as happy as you are but also show her you acknowledge her sorrows by just being her friend, someone she knows will always care for her too. And also talk about other things that both of you have interesst in.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2013): I am the person who wrote in
Why should I have to be quiet about my pregnancy? It's a happy time for me. Plus she asked me to to do the test in front of her so then there was no issue
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (24 June 2013):
 This is quite a sensitive subject as she was actively trying for a child and you tell her you where only trying for a few weeks and got pregnant, so my guess is that this has hit a nerve with her and made her feel self concious. It is a hard situation and yes she should be happy for you, but you also need to remember that even though she has her son she is trying for another child without success so this might make her feel sensitive. When talking to her don't keep bringing up the fact that you are pregnant as this might just make her not want to have contact with you as it sounds like she is feeling low because she cannot fall pregnant as easy as you. Find other things to talk about and hopefully it will work out.
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