A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i had a boyfriend for 8 years. while together he got another girl pregnant who is his classmate. did he really love me? he said it was all accident and did not love the girl. added he will just give the girl's request to get them married and later on he will annul the marriage. what will i do? will i accept him again? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012): This guy doesn't know what love is. He has no loyalty to anyone. He has a flippant attitude towards marriage. He has no integrity.
I don't think he loves you. I don't think he loves her either. He just does what feels good for himself.
He cheated on you and got her pregnant. If he marries her only to dump her later well then she deserves what she gets. Don't envy her just because he marries her. Pity her. They both deserve each other.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012): Did he really love me if he got another girl pregnant?
"Love" does enable pregnancy.
Being willing to pull down your pants and have sex someone else might though. Agreeing to marry someone sounds like a "commitment". Telling your other mistress you'll annul your hypothetical marriage sounds like "bullsh*t".
All that said, I have to say if I were pregnant and the man who was promising to marry me was seeing another lady for eight years, I probably wouldn't call it "love".
Good luck out there.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (7 December 2012):
 I've always wondered about how one makes a woman pregnant "by accident"????
I can't help but imagine a man with his penis exposed, saying to his obviously-pregnant girl: "Honest, I was just cleaning it and it went off!!!!"
You'll be better off to be rid of this creep....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Irish49  +, writes (7 December 2012):
 Agreed with the other Aunts here..all good advice. Please heed that. Let's just make sure I understood this right.
You 'had' a boyfriend for 8 years, meaning you two are no longer together---but when you were together, he got another woman pregnant? Now he wants to marry her but plans to 'annul' the marriage later to be with you?
My input is No! You do not wait around for him to decide to dump the mother of his child and get back with you. He wants to marry this woman, give this poor child a chance at a happy, intact home with 2 parents...and then just dump them? What the heck is he thinking? If he is any kind of quality, solid, half decent guy...he will not do this. So while I do think he is stringing you along, hunny..please, just realize that any man who loves you would 'marry' you. It seems to me that this guy is saying "I want you to hang around while I make up my mind as to what I should do". My suggestion: Say goodbye to him and begin a new slate. You truely deserve better that being put on the backburner until this guy decides to dump his wife and kid!
So to recap.. if he loved you he wouldn't be marrying someone else. It's that simple. I think you need to tell him, that you don't want to be treated as second best and wish him the best on his marriage. Remember, by bailing now..you are free to get out there and find a wonderful quality fellow you deserve, one who puts you, first. And you also give this ex-bf's child a chance at having a intact family life with 2 parents raising him/her. This child deserves that.
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A
female
reader, cmcm  +, writes (7 December 2012):
I agree with the coments above.... please be strong
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A
female
reader, Agneta  +, writes (7 December 2012):
 Love can be an odd thing. He might love you, he might not. You may never know. What you DO know for sure though, is that he is a man that seems fully ready now to take no responsibility whatsoever for his own child. Whether this woman meant something or not to him in the first place is less important, he has here proven not adult enough to handle very important situations in a mature way. He is obviously not able to take responsibility for his actions. Now transfer that knowledge about him to whatever situation you and he might end up in during a life together.
Are you really ready to live your life with this man?
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (7 December 2012):
 It is possible to have sex with someone without loving them, and the fact that he speaks of her the way he does tells me he doesn't love her.Nor do I think he loves or respects you that he would have had sex with someone else while expecting you to be faithful to him and then hope you will wait for him.If he's going to have the marriage annulled then what exactly is the point of getting married in the first place? And even if he does, that won't be any time soon. He'll be living with her, eating with her, sleeping with her and raising a child with her until that happens. Are you seriously thinking about sitting alone in your room waiting for him during all that?Do not wait for this guy. He is not quality material. He's been leading two women down the garden path with nothing for either of them at the end of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012): You can't get a girl pregnant accidentally. You don't just fall over and magically ejaculate into a woman's vagina.
No, don't accept him again. He cheated on you, did so without a condom and putting you at risk of STD's and the asshole is even coming up with a very sly evil plan to marry her then dump her and his kid? Tell him to go fuck himself, he deserves nothing from you. He's just a scum bag and liar.
What kind of man plans to marry the mother of his child and start a family only to then dump her for the woman he originally cheated on.
Retain your dignity and self-respect OP and don't let this guy have anything to do with you anymore. He can't be trusted. Plus do you really want to help him destroy this family?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 December 2012):
 It was an accident that he got her pregnant and is going to marry her?
I think not.
He told you "stay with me and let me have sex with you while I marry her, later on I will annul the marriage and be with you"
what you tell him is
"go be with her after your marriage is annulled (and you bring me the papers to PROVE IT) I MAY consider being with you."
by the time he gets out of his marriage you will long be over him and will laugh in his cheating lying face.
DO NOT believe him. He is not true to you.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (7 December 2012):
 It sounds way too risky. If he loved you and was remorseful for his actions then he wouldnt marry her in the first place. If he really loved you then he wouldnt have slept with her. And even if he did remain faithful to you, there would always be a doubt in your mind. I wouldnt stay with him.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (7 December 2012):
 Hi
No, definately not.
There's more than one man in the world and you need one who does not go and get another girl pregnant,marry her and expect you to wait around till he divorces her.
You deserve better than this treatment
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