Feeling resentment because of sex in otherwise great relationship.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for a year and a half, and since we go to the same university, we spend most of our time together and are very close (she was my best friend before we went out). However, when it comes to sex, I am starti...
A. 29 September 2014: I think you have some reasons to feel upset. Sex requires both giving and taking, an equitable exchange. So, when a partner does not want or like to please us, as we do them, it feels like rejection, and it can hurt our emotional connection and our ... (read in full...)
It seems like he can't make time to talk to me
Q. Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for 2 years, currently we are in LDR due to his work. Its been days since he contacted me, he talks to me only once a week for few mins. I call him once everyday he never picks, if he does always finds reason to cut th...
A. 29 September 2014: Something has changed. You say he did not act like this a year ago. Then how did he act? Are you sure he hasn't always been emotionally distant to you? Has perhaps the physical distance just deepened the emotional? Or is this entirely new, as you ... (read in full...)
Hardened intuition- trust or not??
Q. My long distance boyfriend (we are in our late 40s) insists that he is fully committed to me, is exclusive and has plans for us to retire together In 10 years... He was married for a year when he was 19 then played the field as a partying bachelor. ...
A. 29 September 2014: You are far from ridiculous! If you two are exclusively committed and you have expressed that this behavior (which I think is shady and rude, at the very least) makes you uncomfortable yet he continues, then it is HIM who needs to reevaluate his ... (read in full...)
While we were apart, he slept with a lot of girls, including one night stands and gave me an STI when we reconciled. How do I deal with this?
Q. Hi everybody any advice will be appreciated. Me and my boyfriend had been together four years when I got into a university in a different country to do medicine. It's a five year course and I would be living four hours away from home. After much...
A. 22 March 2014: STIs are no joke. Dump this loser, and get on with your own life. You can't hold a grudge about what he did during the breakup (though I understand feeling uncomfortable), but you SHOULD be annoyed that he gave you an infection and acted as if it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has saved hundreds of images of women on his phone! Normal or no?
Q. My bf of 7 months saves photos of random nameless girls in his phone. A few of them are pornographic but most of them are girls in their lingerie. It isn't just a few photos but hundreds of them. Is this normal? ...
A. 22 March 2014: I don't think this is normal or acceptable. I mean, hundreds?! But before you scream and shout at each other, express your concerns. Obviously, this is bothering you. If you aren't okay with this, you have to let your partner know. He might surprise ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend keeps going back and forth between telling me to move on and then contacting me!
Q. Hi Everyone, My last post was an issue with the older ex boyfriend. Since the last post I've been ignoring him and now he's texting me and trying to get my attention. I ignored each text after another. Problem is I just can't understand wha...
A. 22 March 2014: He wants the best of both worlds? He's having a hard time dealing with the reality that you two are done? Truly, there are tons of possible reasons.
But, in the end, if you are done with this relationship, you need to not even care. Tell him to s... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm tiptoeing on eggshells around my mother. Help?
Q. I feel like I have to tip-toe on egg shells around my mother, and I have no idea what to do. I’m sorry this is so long. But I really need advice and I appreciate whoever takes the time to read this. My mother has always been rather hot-heade...
A. 11 December 2012: Thank you to you both for answering me. I just appreciate having someone to empathize/sympathize with me so much. Just writing that all and getting this out helped in and of itself.
The second responder mentioned my Dad. I feel so bad for him, too... (read in full...)
Is this normal for all men or is my bf an ass?
Q. I was having a fight with my bf about him flirting( especially online) with wayyyy too many girls. He said, "they don't matter because you came first". I told him that I don't care if I came first...............I WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONE! He asks me ...
A. 20 July 2012: This isn't normal. Sounds like a player. He should be devoted to you. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend WANTS to perform oral on me. However, I DON'T want it!
Q. Hi. As the title suggests, my girlfriend does want to perform oral sex on me. She keeps asking, every, single, time that I'm alone with her. I tell her, "No. I'm not ready for that. I am, however, ready for intercourse.", and she tells me she doe...
A. 20 July 2012: Why would it be a sad ordeal? You don't sound mature enough to be engaging in intercourse. Sorry.
She sounds adventurous and like she wants to please you. She doesn't absolutely have to swallow, but if you can't handle the thought of that, th... (read in full...)
Now that I'm being noticed should I go for it and have sex as much as possible?
Q. American rapper Mike Jones has a song (censored version) where he says "Back then they didn’t want me, Now I’m hot, they all on me"...I feel like I’m living a similar situation and it’s confusing me as to how to proceed/live (if that makes any ...
A. 26 January 2012: Find the woman who'd love you fat or thin. Do you really want a partner who is superficial and/or willing to just hook up with every hot guy she sees? Relationships are about QUALITY, not quantity. Sex is best when with someone you love. ... (read in full...)
He said I'm allowed over to his house any time I want, but is it ok to just show up?
Q. This guy has given me his address and he said i am invited to his place anytime, so do you think it's ok if i just go there, without sending him a message asking if it's ok, or saying when, e.t.c ?. He only lives about a 15 minute drive away from ...
A. 26 January 2012: He just means he would love to have you over and that you should feel welcome. Always ask before showing up to someone's home. It's incredibly rude and presumptuous to show up without considering his schedule or plans. But you should definitely ask ... (read in full...)
Could you please point me to a good dating site? no one wants me!
Q. I am 18 years old an looking for a good dating site. No matter what I do how good I dress, no one wants me, and i'm sick of it. I want a good dating site. I enjoy doing many things like star gazing, exercising, hiking, biking, just about anything. ...
A. 16 January 2012: I totally agree with Cerberus. 100%. He makes great points. You should never lay all of the blame on others when seeking to figure out why you are alone. Chances are the reason is you.
I've been through this before, myself. I never seemed t... (read in full...)
How do I learn not to sabotage great relationships?
Q. I ruined a chance with a great guy.. again!! Probably because he wasn't a dick, or messed with my head by playing games like other guys always did... It was going really good, but I stupidly started to act like I was busy, just to see if he was st...
A. 15 January 2012: Call him. Tell him you became terribly busy and are incredibly sorry for shrugging him off. Tell him you think he is great and would love a date. Be confident and try to do some damage control. ... (read in full...)
How do I let the small stuff go?
Q. I need to learn to pick my battles with my bf but I don't know how. When something upsets me, I try to evaluate it, and even when I think it's not a big deal, but am still offended, I feel like saying to myself that it's not worth fighting over just ...
A. 15 January 2012: I do the same thing. I get super irritated by little things. It really isn't a reflection of my feelings for my boyfriend. I love him more than anything, but sometimes I can't control or help the fact that I am impatient become easily agitated with ... (read in full...)
Tips on how not to come across as 'clingy'?
Q. Dear cupid, Me and my boyfriend have beeb together for 1 year and he is the love of my life. Hes my best friend and true love all in one. But latly we have been having problems. I geuss. He says im to clingy and annoying, even emmbares...
A. 15 January 2012: Clingy is when you can't be independent, but rather must always be with or in communication with your boyfriend at all times, without a life of your own. Sounds to me like you are just wanting to be affectionate. Everyone has a different level of ... (read in full...)
My brother and I are both gay but how do I talk to him about it?
Q. hey, so it's not really like a conflict, but my brother and I both happen to be gay. I'm in high school and he's in college, and just this last time he came home to visit with his gay (platonic) friend. Three of us went on a car ride and eventually ...
A. 20 December 2011: Just ask. You will probably bond wonderfully. ... (read in full...)
Why can't I get wet with my new boyfriend?
Q. I just want to start by saying that I've never had issues getting wet with my previous boyfriends and I also have no problem getting wet when I occasionally watch porn and masturbate. But for some reason, with my current bf, I can't get wet and ...
A. 20 December 2011: Try to train him to kiss better. Just keep practicing and kissing the way you like. I find lots of guys subconsciously adapt and kiss better with time. If you want some tongue, try slipping him some! ;) Maybe nibble his lower lip to add excitement. ... (read in full...)
Is this the way that guys joke around?
Q. Hi My bf of two years often talks about how cute his coworkers are and how could he like to spend time with them. Whenver i call, he says if he knows that i am gonna call then he would hv switched off his mobile. If i ask why he is doing this, h...
A. 20 December 2011: From what you're saying, this doesn't sound like normal joking. It sounds insensitive and like he has a seriously wandering eye, almost as if he is TRYING to make you feel insecure. If he won't take your feelings seriously when you reasonably try to ... (read in full...)
My ex an I broke up but she still flirts with me and I think she is confused. How else do I keep rebuilding a connection? I love her.
Q. my girlfriend and I broke up almost 2 months ago, and we still live together. A week ago before bed she asked me for a hug so I gave her a hug and she ended up holding me for a long time and cried a little saying she was confused and wasnt sure what ...
A. 19 December 2011: I'm really sorry to hear that. Try your best to move on and focus on you. She was being dishonest and insincere with you. She doesn't deserve you. ... (read in full...)
Guy is drunk texting me at 3am... I like him...Should I go?
Q. So I have a crush on this guy who also happens to be my coworker and its apparent he likes me back. And recently he started drunk texting me to come over at 3am so I can keep him company. We've only been talking a few weeks, so I ended up telling ...
A. 18 December 2011: Do you want to be used? Because that's what's going to happen. Have respect for yourself. Don't take the plunge. ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I'm part of his future plans. Are we meant to be together? Who knows what he's thinking?
Q. So the other night my boyfriend went out with 2 mutual friends. We'd had a spat-things I'm just trying to sort through to see where we are in this relationship. They asked him point blank, "Do you want to end the relationship?" He emphatically said...
A. 18 December 2011: Sometimes, commitment is scary for people, especially men who are often conditioned to not be extremely open with their feelings. You just have to give some people time. He obviously loves you and wishes to be with you. The commitment is just ... (read in full...)
Do we have to endure this? His family treat us like kids and are often rude to us
Q. This might sound really silly but i sometimes worry about what my fiances family think of us we didnt have a very good week with them, we attended a large family meal last week and were told where we were sitting (which i was fine with, its their ...
A. 18 December 2011: I feel your feelings are totally legitimate! I too would feel like his family are treating you both like you are fifteen and are not taking your relationship seriously. Hormones and sensitive feelings or not, this family lacks tact, it seems to ... (read in full...)
My ex an I broke up but she still flirts with me and I think she is confused. How else do I keep rebuilding a connection? I love her.
Q. my girlfriend and I broke up almost 2 months ago, and we still live together. A week ago before bed she asked me for a hug so I gave her a hug and she ended up holding me for a long time and cried a little saying she was confused and wasnt sure what ...
A. 18 December 2011: She sounds rather wishy-washy. She has had two months to think about this situation and decide. If her mind is still not made up, I am afraid to say this, but I don't think her feelings are all that deep and serious. She likely is just fighting ... (read in full...)
I fell asleep while talking to the guy, do I contact him or wait for him to contact me?
Q. I'm terrible at this dating thing. So I gave this guy my number and we spent all last night talking, before I so nicely fell asleep on him (i felt really bad after that.) So this is my stupid question..Do I text him first or wait till he get's in...
A. 18 December 2011: Send a quick message apologizing for falling asleep, like others have said. Be sure to affirm that you had a great conversation and he wasn't the reason you fell asleep! Give interest in speaking again!
Don't be embarrassed. I actually did once... (read in full...)
Is my wife embarassed by me? She told me "not be obnoxious" when I meet her friends.
Q. We have been married for 13 years and have been together as a couple for over 18, over half of our lives, and have multiple children together. Tomorrow, we are supposed to meet with my wife's friends, maybe some of their husbands, and one friend has ...
A. 18 December 2011: I feel like your wife is indeed a bit out of line. I feel her comments to you are insensitive and are causing you to feel like you are an inadequate spouse and person. You two need a serious chat. You have every right to have your feelings hurt. She ... (read in full...)
Why do my parents never want me to leave home? How to become more independant and not alienate them?
Q. My family thinks we have to be married just to leave home. I don't know why, as we aren't remotely religious and not an ethnic minority. NONE of my extended family is like this at all. So why are my parents? Even the movie Failure to Launch m...
A. 18 December 2011: I feel like some more detail and examples might be helpful to give some better advice to you.
Nevertheless, no one has any right to verbally abuse anyone. I do know, though, that when I discussed moving out with my parents, my Mom was a bit mood... (read in full...)
How do I learn to connect with people and turn it into a friendship?
Q. Something I've really been trying to get my head around. I have probably not had the courage and the confidence to put myself out there socially, and this is something that is really starting to do my head in and something that I am desperate to get ...
A. 18 December 2011: Hey there,
I struggled with self-esteem issues and confidence problems a lot when I was your age, which really was only a few years ago. I'm not some old crony who is going to tell you how wonderful 1952 was and how Eisenhower was the best pre... (read in full...)
Sexual issues... my bf doesn't get hard!
Q. This is a question for the guys, girls feel free to answer My question is, I'm dating this new guy, and his not like my other boyfriends, they were hard ...but this guy...he won't even get a hard wen we sit and I put my hand in his pants and ru...
A. 13 December 2011: My current boyfriend doesn't get or stay as hard as my previous, so I see how this is frustrating and sometimes you can fall into the trap of believing it's because you aren't good enough. Don't do either of those! Stay positive, confident, and ... (read in full...)
My fiance's ex makes me uncomfortable... should I invite her to the wedding anyway?
Q. So I can't decide whether I want one of my fiance's best friends to come to our wedding. We are having a very small wedding - basically just family and very few friends due to cost and the fact that it is going to be a very informal wedding...
A. 13 December 2011: Have you ever seen My Best Friend's Wedding? You should check it out. It applies to your situation and is my favorite romantic comedy. :-)
I would invite her out of sheer politeness for your fiance's sake and to be the bigger person. She sounds s... (read in full...)
Questions about my sex life on the first date
Q. Today I went out with a guy for the first time- we've got some mutual acquaintances and that's how we got to meet. Date went well enough- the standard movie + eating one. He seems cute, easy going, laid back, kind to people and very good looking. ...
A. 12 December 2011: Totally agree with, C. Grant. Your guy's questions are a bit rude and it seems he lacks tact. ... (read in full...)
Considering my parents are both experiencing health and financial problems, should I give them a cash gift for Christmas or dinner and a movie gift cards for a fun night out?
Q. Question in regards to parents Recently my family has gone through a tough time I am 32 and have not lived at home with my parents for a very long time... Both my parents are currently disabled. Dads been on disability for 3 years Mom was w...
A. 10 December 2011: What about a grocery or gas giftcard? That way you know where the money is being spent and they can have a week's worth of groceries on you or a tank of gas, and can focus their money on bills. Personally, I would try to do a mix of the two so a ... (read in full...)
I told him he was the one. He said he was speechless.
Q. I told him I think he's the one tonight by text and all he said was that he was genuinely speechless. What's does that mean? Does he not feel the same? How can I rell? I feel hurt for some reason. We have been together for 8 months...
A. 8 December 2011: He could feel shocked. He could feel that he isn't ready for such seriousness. He could feel you're moving too fast. He could feel that he doesn't feel the same. The possibilities are endless! You won't know until you actually TALK to him.
Given... (read in full...)
Dating Sites - Good or Bad?
Q. Dating Sites..Good or bad? I've got serious doubts on whether dating sites are a good way to meet anyone. I'm not the most outgoing of people and I'm trying to think of a way to get proactive in finding a relationship. (After all, I can't expect M...
A. 8 December 2011: Have fun, be safe, and shoot us an update! :-)... (read in full...)
Would you be willing to be friends with a transgender?
Q. I suppose this is more a question than seeking advise but as a person that is transgender I am curious to know how people really view someone like me. I'm female born in a male body. I've never known anyone els like me and friends from my youth put ...
A. 8 December 2011: No problem! You seem lovely and I'm sure you'll have no problem making friends (or developing closer bonds). Just get out there and rock it! ;-) ... (read in full...)
Should I keep striving, though I'm not sure what my final goal is?
Q. This isn't a relationship question but I was hoping someone wiser than me can offer some advice. I'm a full time college student, majoring in Biology, and I've hit a wall - my true passion a year ago was English but I decided (with pressure f...
A. 7 December 2011: Do what will make YOU happy. If you love English, consider becoming a professor or teacher! You can write creatively on the side. If you enjoy biology as well, maybe consider a dual major or a minor to explore both! Tons of possibilities. Try ... (read in full...)
After 5 Years Why Hasn't He Proposed
Q. This is real simple. I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years. I moved out of state to be with him and its been me and him since 2006. I have never given him a reason to not trust me. I've never lied to him. I've never cheated on him. I go to ...
A. 7 December 2011: He lies to you and he didn't even acknowledge your birthday. Why exactly do YOU want to marry him???... (read in full...)
Dating Sites - Good or Bad?
Q. Dating Sites..Good or bad? I've got serious doubts on whether dating sites are a good way to meet anyone. I'm not the most outgoing of people and I'm trying to think of a way to get proactive in finding a relationship. (After all, I can't expect M...
A. 7 December 2011: Dating sites are, just like you said, iffy. They take time, patience, and A LOT of sifting. I've had great success and met my current boyfriend, whom I've been dating for six months, through the site okcupid. It is totally free and has great ... (read in full...)
Would you be willing to be friends with a transgender?
Q. I suppose this is more a question than seeking advise but as a person that is transgender I am curious to know how people really view someone like me. I'm female born in a male body. I've never known anyone els like me and friends from my youth put ...
A. 7 December 2011: I would see you as a human being and accept you without issue. The only thing that would ever dissuade me from befriending you is the quality of your character, not your gender or sexual preference. If you are a genuine and kind individual, I would ... (read in full...)
How can I confront my boyfriend of lying about porn?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a great relationship for the past 2 years and haven't had any big fights... except about one topic: porn. I absolutely hate it. I see it as a form of cheating. He knows I would never allow him to look another ...
A. 3 December 2011: If porn is interfering with his everyday life, such as he misses work and school and avoids you and his friends often just so he can view it, then he is addicted. However, it seems to me he just likes to watch while he masturbates. I really don't ... (read in full...)
My friends don't support my decision to take a year long hiatus from dating
Q. Dear Aunts. I just found out that my bf of 11 months got a new g.f . So i left him last week and decided that i won't date for atleast 1year. But my friends don't accept my decision, they keep reminding me that i am weird, (especially now because ...
A. 2 December 2011: The only opinion that matters here is your own, girl! If you are wanting to take a break from dating, by all means do so! You are young and should be enjoying yourself and your singular freedom! Go with the flow, take a break, and enjoy yourself. ... (read in full...)
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