A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just want to start by saying that I've never had issues getting wet with my previous boyfriends and I also have no problem getting wet when I occasionally watch porn and masturbate. But for some reason, with my current bf, I can't get wet and we've had to use lube everytime we had sex. And one day he made a comment about it because he obviously noticed that we've never had sex without lube. I love him and find him attractive, I've even felt wet just having dinner with him because I think he's so hot but when we start sex, I just can't get wet. He doesn't do a ton of foreplay and he's not a very good kisser (french kissing is what usually is the trigger for me). And it seems like all the girls he's been with (and apparently it's a lot of them) were always wet with him. So I feel a little abnormal here.I am wondering if I am just not compatible with him. I feel bad that he doesnt make me wet.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tyedyedturtle +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Try to train him to kiss better. Just keep practicing and kissing the way you like. I find lots of guys subconsciously adapt and kiss better with time. If you want some tongue, try slipping him some! ;) Maybe nibble his lower lip to add excitement.
You can always ASK for more foreplay. Communication is necessary in intimate relationships. However, do unto him what you would like him to mimick. Kiss his neck, chest, and wherever else you please. If he doesn't take hints, it's time to talk about what you like and politely ask.
I wouldn't conclude that you aren't compatible yet. I think you just require more heating up than he is giving and are focusing too heavily on his crappy kissing, which is turning you off. Talk to him nicely and tactfully about what you love in the bedroom and just keep practicing. If in a few weeks nothing improves, reevaluate.
A
female
reader, madlib +, writes (20 December 2011):
I think your jumping to conclusions about not being compatable with him just becuase you don't get wet...unless there are bigger things going on here that you didn't mention as far as your relationship goes. Sure kissing might be the trigger for you, but you shouldn't be comparing yourself and your relationship to past ones for you or him...are you excited in the moment? Are you enjoying yourself? Are you doing the same routine or are you spicing it up a bit? The point is you should just be focused on the moment as it is happening and not judge yourself-some women don't get wet the older they get...there is nothing wrong with that. Even if your boyfriend doesn't get you wet-is it really the end of the world? Is the sex bad or do you just not get wet? Plus other things can prevent that like drugs,alcohol, and sometimes caffeine-too much of either can dry that well right up even if you are rearing to go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011):
I am not a very good kisser. I admit it and my ex-girlfriend told me as much. My suggestion to you is to make him a good kisser. It's a real turn-on if a woman wants to help with that, especially if she explains how much it turns her on. My ex-girlfriend was just too shy to get into it and also felt it was a turn-off to teach me. However, I found another girl who I connected with and she tells me I am an amazing kisser, mostly because I am just following her lead. I know most women want men to take the lead, but this is a situation where I think you need to take charge. You will build his confidence and then when he is confident - well, who knows what might happen.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): The fact that he's not a satisfying kisser could be a big part of it. If I'm not turned on by the way someone kisses I have a hard time wanting to do more. Granted, I have trouble getting wet no matter what, but it's definitely harder if they don't kiss the way I like. I find I just can't get excited about going further than kissing if I don't find that satisfying.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Probably the best way to get you really wet is by licking you, but if he is not into foreplay, that may not happen. You are not abnormal, but possibly need a bit more advance activity. Some guys just want their own jollies and are not willing to do what it takes for the woman. Sad but true. It's called being selfish.
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