A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was having a fight with my bf about him flirting( especially online) with wayyyy too many girls. He said, "they don't matter because you came first". I told him that I don't care if I came first...............I WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONE! He asks me then........what am I supposed to tell you when I come home happy? Should I just blame it on work? I was shocked and stunned and just changed the subject because I could not believe my ears? What do you all think about this?Thank you so much for your advice!!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 July 2012):
 One thing is having friend of the opposite sex, but friendship don't involve heavy flirting.
This isn't normal, he just want you to believe it is, so you will stop bugging him.
Honey, he isn't a keeper. Set him free to b single and flirt to his hearts content on the Internet and go home to an empty house.
You on the other hand, find yourself a real man.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012): Oh no, what he is doing is unacceptable. I have no problem with male/female friendships, but flirting is out of bounds...there is no place for it when you are in a relationship with someone. It's very disrespectful.
Sadly, your guy is not boyfriend material at this time...he isn't secure with himself yet (needs to female attention to feed his ego) and doesn't understand the moral boundaries he's crossing with you as his girlfriend.
This has nothing to do with you or something you have done, this is ALL about him and his lack of maturity.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012): Having female friends is OK. I don't agree with people who say men and women can't be friends.
But flirting with other women if you are in a relationship is NOT acceptable and disrespectful to you. Kick his sorry ass out. He's not good enough for you.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (20 July 2012):
 Well you could spend years trying to work him out and mistrusting him but really it's what Ciar and Jinxx have said...it's very disrespectful and he's doing it because he isn't boyfriend material...get rid of him because you will never be number one in his life.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (20 July 2012):
 He's not boyfriend material. I don't know why on Earth you're with him even arguing about this.
Get rid of him.
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A
female
reader, jinxx +, writes (20 July 2012):
 So, you're telling me your boyfriend - the one who willingly entered into a relationship with you - is flirting with other women... and you're unhappy about it?
GOOD! No, it's not normal. Your boyfriend is an inconsiderate, insensitive, ASS!
If he can't stop flirting with other women, he has no business being your, or any other girl's boyfriend. It doesn't matter if they don't matter to him, what matters is how disrespectful this is to you. And it's VERY disrespectful to you!
Unless you're okay with being treated like garbage, I'd get out of this relationship, seriously. "They don't matter because you came first" ?? Really?? Is he actually serious when he says that? He made a commitment to you by entering into a relationship, one I assume is monogamous, so what is this guy's deal?
Bottom line is... you're uncomfortable with this, and you have made your position more than clear. Asking him to stop flirting with other women is absolutely a reasonable request. If, instead of stopping this he just makes more excuses for why he does it, that means he doesn't care about your feelings! This may bother you, but it sure doesn't bother him! Kick him to the curb, you deserve someone better whose maturity matches up with their age.
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A
female
reader, Tyedyedturtle +, writes (20 July 2012):
 This isn't normal. Sounds like a player. He should be devoted to you.
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