A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have a crush on this guy who also happens to be my coworker and its apparent he likes me back. And recently he started drunk texting me to come over at 3am so I can keep him company. We've only been talking a few weeks, so I ended up telling him that I don't think it'd be a good idea for me to come over that late. Was I wrong? Should I take the risk and go? I'm not the type to sleep with just anyone so I'm not worried about that. I'm worried it might make things a bit awkward...help?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 December 2011):
 the only reason to text a woman at that ungodly hour and say come over is to get laid.... DO NOT do it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): I don't know if you're uglier than a "2am girl", but I do know that was a booty call. He's was probably just feeling drunk and optimistic. If you're not into casual sex, you did the right thing.
I know you say like him and you don't want to make things awkward, but I don't think your reaction is the behavior that needs to be questioned in this situation. I'm inclined to say a guy who booty calls (especially while drunk) probably isn't a great prospect as a partner.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): You were right not to go, he wanted sex not company and he was drunk. Tell him not to text you at that time or if he is drunk, don't respond to him if he does. If men want a relationship with you they don't start out by drunk texting they ask you out properly.
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A
female
reader, Bee4ever +, writes (18 December 2011):
My answer to you will be that if you have a crush on this guy and want to eventually date him then you should ignore his calls or text him back that he should find someone else to drunk text. You will get no respect from him by going over at that hour. I think you know this. Could be the guy is shy and is only feeling courageous with a couple beers. You could ask him to get a cup of coffee with you in the morning when he texts you so late. Tell him you would prefer to be his 8am call and then maybe you will see how serious about you he really is.
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A
female
reader, Tyedyedturtle +, writes (18 December 2011):
 Do you want to be used? Because that's what's going to happen. Have respect for yourself. Don't take the plunge.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): Have you ever heard of the term 2am girl? It's one we use here in Ireland and I think they do in England aswell. Basically a 2am girl is when you've been trying all night in a club to get an attractive girl to get off with and haven't succeeded, clubs here close at 2.30-3.00 so the 2am is your last chance to chat someone up and at that stage you'll take any girl you can find. So a 2am girl is a girl who is ugly but you'll take her because it's 2am and you're drunk enough at that stage to do almost anyone. I know it's a very horrible and demeaning concept. But it's actually a pretty real thing.
Now you're even lower than that OP, you're a 3am girl. You're the girl he turns to for sex after he's even exhausted the ugly women in the club. Him texting you drunk at 3am is only for sex, nothing else, he's horny and he's found no one else so he'll chance his arm with you.
If he doesn't like you enough to ask you out when he's sober then he's not really interested in anything other than sex. 3am texting is ignorant and if being his casual drunken lay is not your thing then don't let him use you for that. Look OP don't fall for this "come over for some company, lets hangout bullshit" you work with him, it's best if you want to date him you go on public dates OP and not go back his or yours until such time as you're comfortable that you're not just an easy lay.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (18 December 2011):
 I agree. Nope, you should not have gone. He will respect you more for not going.
Also, you should have a chat with him (or text him) and tell him that when he is drunk at 3am to text someone else.
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A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (18 December 2011):
 @Worldlywise is right, he was after sex. But aside from that, dating co workers is never a great idea, if things go wrong, your work life may be ruined. That is why people say don't mix business with pleasure ;)
If you really must go for it, take things slow, go out on a few dates, don't sleep with him until you are absolutely positive it is right.
good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): Any guy texting at 3am, drunk or sober is only after one thing - sex.
You were not wrong by refusing to go. Until he respects you enough to ask you on a proper date - keep refusing, just don't respond to any texts after say 10pm.
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