Friend with benefits has an ex visiting from overseas and told me not to contact him or visit him while she's here! What should I do?
Q. I have been seeing and sleeping with a man for just over 9 months now. Just out of the blue, he told me his ex from the USA is coming over to stay with him for a month. First he said it was without warning, and then his story changed, saying it was ...
A. 4 June 2014: He has not hurt you, you have hurt yourself by believing you could handle the situation. Give up now. He has told it to you exactly how it is. Him changing the story from her coming without warning, to having planned it before knowing you, says to ... (read in full...)
If he's happy then why is he still on dating sites?
Q. Hi everyone, I am hoping someone (preferably with experience of this) could shed some light on my problem. I have been seeing my boyfriend for a bit more than three years. He says he is happy. If he is happy, then why does he keep going to dating ...
A. 22 November 2013: I know you are the one who is asking the question, but please let me ask you this, how long do you intend to let his cheating cycle continue for? So he must have been doing it for at least 3 years, yes? Does that not tell you that you only have 2 ... (read in full...)
FWB: why hasn't he contacted me?
Q. Do fwb's suddenly go silent? I've been friends with benefits with a guy on and off (mostly on) for nearly a year. He is sexy as hell, I approached him, but at the time was going through a rocky patch with my then-boyfriend. I was open with him ...
A. 11 November 2013: When he feels horny and has probably nowhere else to go, he will get in touch. You are the one who`s asking for advice on here, not him. FWB`s is far more beneficial, when you are male, no matter what you may have convinced yourself to beli... (read in full...)
Has anyone's ex come back after they've appeared to have moved on?
Q. has anyone's ex come back after they've appeared to have moved on? kinda like "if its meant to be it will be" type thing? my ex jumped into another relationship only a couple months after he walked away from our relationship. we were very seriou...
A. 8 October 2013: Nothing is "meant to be", unless both of you "want it to be." If whatever broke you up is not resolved, then you probably end up going round in circles.
I would also think very carefully about how secure you would feel in a relationship with some... (read in full...)
I've seen her on online dating sites but she won't admit it
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 18 months. Recently I have found her 3 times on dating sites. We have argued and almost broken up over it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, she is still denying it. Is it just a bit of a joke? or ...
A. 7 September 2013: Since I answered your question, I notice the hostile reply I was relating to has been removed. ... (read in full...)
I've seen her on online dating sites but she won't admit it
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 18 months. Recently I have found her 3 times on dating sites. We have argued and almost broken up over it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, she is still denying it. Is it just a bit of a joke? or ...
A. 7 September 2013: I am sorry you have asked a serious question and been met with what appears to be a very hostile counter question. Unfortunately I can also answer you with a question. Why are you still with her? ... (read in full...)
She hasn't invited me to her friends' wedding?
Q. My girlfriend has been invited to one of her friend's wedding next month (an ex, but they're still friends, which is totally fine with me by the way). It's in the middle of a week we both have off on holiday. Anyway, she told me that it didn't come ...
A. 25 August 2013: What sticks out in my mind is, How would she react if this was exactly the same, the other way round? I think knowing that would answer your question, far more precisely.... (read in full...)
I regret breaking up with my girl, now I want to make up with her
Q. I think I made a mistake in ending my relationship with a girl who was deeply in love with me. I had reasons but did not make it known to her. She was quiet confused, but just agreed for our separation. I'd love to make up with her but will she be ...
A. 16 August 2013: There is only one way to find out.
You do not mention the reasons, which makes it difficult to say any more.
... (read in full...)
Ex called 3 months after breakup and says he wants to marry me. I don't want him back. How can I handle this?
Q. My ex broke up with me three months ago. It was a bad breakup. We had no contact since then. Last night he called and said he realized that he still loves me and I'm always the one he wants to marry. He's not going to let go this time. I'm over him ...
A. 15 August 2013: Easy. Tell him you are not interested and not to call you again.... (read in full...)
I'm happy but overshadowed by jealousy over ex. How do I get past this?
Q. My ex ended our relationship nearly two years ago. We was together 5 years. We were both at fault, but I own up to doing a lot of bad things too. He has ignored me completely and he showed no signs of any grief or jealousy when I met someone else ...
A. 1 August 2013: When you met someone else basically straight after your relationship broke down. He probably never reacted to it, because it reassured him that breaking up was the best move forward. Now he has met someone. you have moved backwards. Accept what has ... (read in full...)
Will he ever stop going on dating sites? I hesitate to allow our relationship to develop further because of this.
Q. Can someone please answer, because I think I am slowly losing my mind through this. I have been dating for three years now. He wants to take our relationship further, but I can`t. The reason I can`t is because for at least two years, I have be...
A. 5 April 2013: If he loves you then why does he join dating sites? He is probably not cut out for a good, clean, honest, one to one relationship, whether he thinks he loves you or not. You probably know what you should do.... (read in full...)
Has a partner ever said they wouldn't watch porn but then do it anyways?
Q. Has anyone ever had a relationship where they have told their partner at the beginning they don't want porn in the relationship and their partner has accepted but done it anyway? I am worried this is going happen to me, I don't want to give myself ...
A. 26 February 2013: Yes. If you decide to enter a relationship, the chances of him watching porn sometime in your life together, is probably high.... (read in full...)
I'm supposed to be getting married in May. My fiance has been again been caught talking sexual on dating sites!
Q. I am supposed to be getting married in June. The honeymoon is even booked. After the wedding she would have been moving into my house. We have been together for over 5 years. It has been an off and on relationship for the last 3 years. Mainly d...
A. 21 February 2013: You would be far better off dumping your cheat, because whatever her reason or excuse, she is insincere and untrustworthy. People like her would hate it if they got the same treatment. Do not contact her. Do not accept her calls or messages. ... (read in full...)
Would you help your ex raise a child from another woman? He says we can't get back together except as friends
Q. ok, has anyone ever encountered this before? my husband, well ex now once asked if he went and got someone pregnant would i help him raise it? i told him no im too old i have already raised my children. oh we could not have any together because of a ...
A. 14 February 2013: At the moment you are speculating and maybe wishing. Lets say the opportunity of getting back with him does arise, then I would not help him to raise another woman`s child. Not because I was rejecting the child, but because I would not be taking HIM ... (read in full...)
She sends texts to her male workmate every day. Does it sound like I have a right to be discouraged and want to leave her? She dismisses my fears.
Q. My wife and i have been married 5 years and for the past 2 years, she has been texting her workmate and calling him on a daily. We also live very close to her workplace and he takes her and picks her up. Ive spoken to my wife about my dislike...
A. 9 February 2013: She is not behaving like a married woman should be. I think if you was doing the same as her, she would strongly object.... (read in full...)
She has started going on dating sites, in front of me. She tells me there is better than me out there. What should I do?
Q. I have lived with my girlfriend for 5 years. We have both decided against getting married and have no children (she doesnt want any). Everything has been steady and we have always got on. Over the past 6 months she has got into a twice weekly g...
A. 7 February 2013: At this stage, I would nor recommend you even discuss marriage with her again. I think you are the one who`s getting bad treatment and you are the one who should now be seeing what your options are.... (read in full...)
Never violent, nor unfaithful. But we did horrible things to each other. Yet I love her still. How can I get over her?
Q. I was with the most amazing woman in the world! The time we spent together was the most amazing time I have spent with anyone. We got each other on every level. Mentally and physically! When things were good they were the best they have ever bee...
A. 2 February 2013: Stating what these bad things were, that you both did, may help people to answer this better. If you was so in love with someone, you wouldn't have wanted do bad things to them. Someone has already suggested you are probably lonely right now. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wont stop using dating sites but makes me out to be the bad guy! What have I done wrong?
Q. Will someone please understand where I went wrong and what I did what was wrong? I have dumped my girlfriend because yet again she is on dating sites. She is not letting it go and is behaving like I have done her the greatest injustice for leaving ...
A. 22 January 2013: She sounds very much like she has some kind of narcissistic disorder. Do not answer her calls or texts. No contact would be better. She will soon forget you when she meets someone else. Types like her usually do, and very quickly. You will always be ... (read in full...)
I love 2 men and don't want to hurt either of them
Q. I am in a very weird position. I love two men! I was dating a man in the army who was just about to deploy, he said he really likes me etc etc Then he went away and we decided to talk about taking our relationship further when he comes back. He is ...
A. 15 January 2013: You dont love any of them. Are you afraid of being single?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is going on online dating sites. Do I have a right to be upset about this?
Q. I am having had a bad time again with my boyfriend. We have been back together after we broke up because of his online dating sites. Over the course of a year, we had argument after argument over his lies and refusal to accept that I had the right ...
A. 9 January 2013: Oh, you need to end this without further notice. Forget the long tale of what he has done and probably still is doing. He is making you unhappy and you do not want that.... (read in full...)
Why will my girlfriend not stop going on dating sites?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend just short of two years. She has been going on dating sites like it`s a habit for at least the past year. She has lied and lied about it, but she surely knows that I know different. We have been broke up over Christmas ...
A. 5 January 2013: Why will she not stop going on dating sites? Simple. She doesnt want to. She is on one now with her photo there. Does that not tell you anything?... (read in full...)
My g/f is always accusing me of cheating and now I find her on dating sites. She tells me to go back to my exs! What do I do?
Q. My girlfriend has been aggressively telling me that i cheat on her. She has been accusing me for months and brings up my sexual history with my ex. I have now found out that she has been on date match sites trying to meet men and saying she is ...
A. 27 December 2012: It sounds like she wants out of the relationship and wants to leave the dirty work of dumping to you. Grant her that wish.... (read in full...)
I want a relationship with trust and honesty!
Q. I have caught my boyfriend on dating sites 5 times this year. He has promised to stop doing it from now on. He said that all the other times too. I find all i do lately is look for evidence of him doing it again. Just like i have done in the past ...
A. 27 December 2012: You aint going to get it from him, that`s for sure. I would check again if I was you.... (read in full...)
Was he over the top to break up over this after 2 years together? Was he looking for an excuse?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up in April of this year. He had found out I was on dating sites again. I did not want to meet anyone, because I was in love with him. I used to go on dating sites to tease the guys on them and had no intention of meet...
A. 24 December 2012: Why would you risk so much for so little? I find your story a bit difficult to believe.... (read in full...)
Why is he still lying? Yet begging to resume our relationship? Will he change or continue to go on dating sites if we get back together?
Q. I dumped my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago for going on dating sites and sex texting with girls. He could not even explain who these girls were, so I assumed they were from dating sites. He is still lying and says he never went on those dating s...
A. 21 December 2012: If you make the mistake (accidentally on purpose) of joining a dating site whilst in a relationship, then broke up because of it. What would you do to win your ex and his trust back? Would you join it again and put your photo on? Of course you ... (read in full...)
Her parents are staying with us over Christmas, but I've found she is having sexual conversations with strangers on the internet! Should I confront her now, or wait until her parents have gone? I'm really disgusted and thinking about leaving...
Q. My girlfriends parents are due from overseas to visit and stay over christmas. It will be the third time I have met them and we get on great. I have now discovered my girlfriend is having relationships and sexual conversations with strangers over ...
A. 19 December 2012: You could try having a talk to her about it first. If you do, then stay calm. Unfortunately, more often than not under these circumstances, lies, defensive aggression, talking bull shit or blaming you for their action can add insult to injury. Most ... (read in full...)
If he really loves me and wants to marry me, then why does he keep joining dating sites?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. The last 2 have gotten rather bumpy because he keeps talking to girls on dating sites. He has asked me to marry him but because he lies to me about his dating sites it makes me too afraid to marry ...
A. 18 December 2012: Yes he wants to be with you "and" the dating sites. You as his wife and the dating sites as his mistress. I would wish him a merry Christmas before you leave.... (read in full...)
She wont give up the dating sites and chat rooms, what can I do? I don't want to leave our son....
Q. I have been living with my common law for 6 years and we have a 5 year old boy. For the last 18 months we have constantly argued over her use of dating and adult related chat room type websites. Just as always, I think we are getting back on the ...
A. 17 December 2012: She knows that you are aware of her online cheating (and that`s exactly what it is). I think kc100 has hit the nail on the head. You have only 2 options. I do not know why you would stay so long with someone who respects you so little.... (read in full...)
Now I'm being punished for what goes on in her mind only!
Q. For the past two years or so, my girlfriends insecurity has got worse and worse. I am constantly told who I am looking at, who I find attractive and told I am flirting with everyone she believes I find attractive. I have put up with a lot. I now ...
A. 13 December 2012: Is she really insecure or just very clever? I think she may have known what she was doing all along. She is manipulating you. Leave her as soon as possible. It will not get better.... (read in full...)
She accused me of cheating, but she's on a dating site?
Q. I have had to constantly re-assure my girlfriend since day one. I have put up with allegations that I am cheating or will end up cheating on her. I am often accused of finding others attractive when we are out. Despite this, I have tried to ...
A. 10 December 2012: I feel for you. She has disrespected you in a very big way. If you decide to stay with her, then you are open to even more abuse from her. I do not think she sounds the type of person to care either way about hurting you. She sounds far too selfish ... (read in full...)
We break up, we make up, but nothing has changed. What do I do about her?
Q. I have been back with my girlfriend only a week after us breaking up. We broke up because I found she had been registering on dating sites. Not only that but had been engaging in explicit conversation and exchanging photos. At first she denied it ...
A. 7 December 2012: It looks like this type of cheating is getting more and more common. It also seems that the reactions when caught are very similar too. You dont want to leave so what are you going to do? There is only that of getting emotionaly abused for the rest ... (read in full...)
While house-sitting for my girlfriend, I discovered she is not the person she lead me to believe she is.
Q. So I have been with my girlfriend about 4 months and I thought things were going great. We got serious very quickly however and ended up spending almost every day together. Lately I've felt very uncertain about several things I've discover...
A. 2 December 2012: I think you will have a very bumpy ride if you stay with her. I dont think all your troubles will end here. It is probably only the start of it. You are up against a very complex personality and I think there will be a lot more to come (pardon the ... (read in full...)
I dumped him because of the dating sites, but he's still on them meeting new people! How do I overcome my anger?
Q. I have broke up from a 2 year relationship. It was my decision. He would not stop visiting datimg sites and always lied to me about it or said he went on them because I nagged him all the time. Now, the same account he said wasnt his is still there ...
A. 30 November 2012: He will have caused you enough hurt and grief when you was with him. You are causing yourself that same hurt and grief to continue now that you are not with him. You know he`s on dating sites so leave him where he is and get someone else, who`s ... (read in full...)
I fear I've been used by a man I met on a dating site.
Q. I have been such a fool. I joined a dating site and met what seemed like a man in a million. He was a good listener, polite and we clicked. He took me for a meal and we ended up at my home, we talked and he listened to my problems and then we slept ...
A. 28 November 2012: By how you tell it, it does look like you have been used. There is no working around that. I do suspect that you are just one of a long line that he has done it to. Just be more careful and learn from it. Someone else off will soon be getting the ... (read in full...)
He cried, real tears, but guess what!
Q. Just over two months ago I left my dating site obsessed boyfriend of four years. I accepted dating sites were part of his life and always will be. He has suddenly started trying to get me back again with the same old bull shit and accused me of ...
A. 23 November 2012: He is behaving like someone who has a fear of being alone. Dont believe a word he tells you. I would block all contact with him from now on. If you dont he will think he`s still in with a chance.... (read in full...)
Is it common for people to be in a relationship and signed up to online dating sites?
Q. I have noticed this kind of question comes up a lot on this website. Is it very common for people to be signed up to dating websites whilst in a relationship. I have found my boyfriend to be doing it and lying about it. when he is not able to lie, ...
A. 22 November 2012: Btw, if someone is serious about you, does not want to lose you and adores you, then the last place they will be is on a dating site. ... (read in full...)
Is it common for people to be in a relationship and signed up to online dating sites?
Q. I have noticed this kind of question comes up a lot on this website. Is it very common for people to be signed up to dating websites whilst in a relationship. I have found my boyfriend to be doing it and lying about it. when he is not able to lie, ...
A. 21 November 2012: It is common for cheats because they think they wont get found out. It seems there is actually a bigger chance of being found out. Also, because its "only online" they think they can just talk their way out of it (as you have seen for yourself). You ... (read in full...)
I am getting fed up with my boyfriends ex wife
Q. I am getting fed up with my boyfriends ex wife. She is too dependent on him for jobs and advice and see`s him as her best friend. Yes, granted, I think if there was any chance of getting him back she wouldnt waste a moment. I have told him my ...
A. 12 November 2012: Tell him she makes you feel insecure. Most would not like what is happening and it sounds like she does want him back. He is being very blind to it all.... (read in full...)
Caught my boyfriend on dating sites, after calling me a slut and a stalker he then claims it was a virus!
Q. I have found out my boyfriend has been going on dating sites. When I asked him about it he went mad at me and started calling me a stalker, said I dont trust him because I myself am not to be trusted, called me a slut and then turned it around to ...
A. 11 November 2012: Look how it will now look to him now. You caught him, he then gave you bull shit. You are still with him. He will now think he can walk all over you. He will think he can mistreat you again and again. I will repeat what Cerberus said to you "Pretty ... (read in full...)
Caught my boyfriend on dating sites, after calling me a slut and a stalker he then claims it was a virus!
Q. I have found out my boyfriend has been going on dating sites. When I asked him about it he went mad at me and started calling me a stalker, said I dont trust him because I myself am not to be trusted, called me a slut and then turned it around to ...
A. 9 November 2012: I would not waste another minute of your life with him. His behavior has been appalling. ... (read in full...)
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