A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:has anyone's ex come back after they've appeared to have moved on? kinda like "if its meant to be it will be" type thing?my ex jumped into another relationship only a couple months after he walked away from our relationship. we were very serious and i really don't believe he's over "us" how can he move on so fast? is this a phase guys go through? realizing the grass isn't greener on the other side..?
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (10 October 2013):
 If you and your ex shared a deep, meaningful relationship, then I have no doubt he will try to reconnect with you in the future. I and every one of my female friends have all experienced the return of the ex...lol...sounds like a movie:) Anyway, by the time he comes grovelling for your attention, you will be over him. I've even had an ex who contacted me ten years after he broke up with me and moved in with another woman. He really gave my ego a boost, but I had no interest in getting back into a relationship with him.
A few of my female friends have tried to give the ex a second chance, but the relationship never lasted.
Give yourself time to heal. You'll begin to realize that you deserve better, and you will find a man who is more deserving of your love.
A
male
reader, somewhere_between +, writes (8 October 2013):
 If he comes back to you, then feel insulted. There is nothing flattering about an ex coming back, simply because their next relationship did not work out as well as they wanted it to. If it did, he would not come back to you. Move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (8 October 2013):
 To be honest I have had an ex reappear but thankfully enough time had passed that I knew it would be unhealthy to try to rekindle anything.
Sadly if it was meant to be, your ex would not have walked away and then started a new relationship. I fully appreciate how painful that feels.
Your ex didn't leave because the grass was greener; there was no overlap (cheating), so he didn't leave you for her. He left because he was unhappy for whatever reason.
Sorry, I know it's hard, and painful. It takes time to process. Hope you read what Fatherly Advice wrote; I found that very touching. Take care of yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013): No!!! This is not just a phase that males go through. It is not a phase that anyone goes through. It is the sign of someone who does not know the true meaning of love and harmony.
It is someone who needs a partner, regardless of who it is. It is someone who puts them self first. It is not someone you should be planning a future with.
...............................
A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (8 October 2013):
Nothing is "meant to be", unless both of you "want it to be." If whatever broke you up is not resolved, then you probably end up going round in circles.
I would also think very carefully about how secure you would feel in a relationship with someone who`s so easily off with the old, and hello to the new.
I would give it the thumbs down, but thats just me.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013): What and who caused you to break up in the first place could help determine a more realistic answer.
If he got with someone else so quick, he is not a keeper imo. I would be happy that he's gone.
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (8 October 2013):
 "Do you think he'll come back?" is one of the saddest questions we see frequently here. People longing for the return of what had proven it's self to be a losing situation. Those of us on the outside want to say, "why do you want them back? Look what they did to you." The truth is that you still have all of your emotional connections to him. There is a notable case in my experience that held on for over 40 years. As far as I know this guy died still in love with the girl who married someone else in his 20's. That is exactly the danger you face. By continuing to hold on to those dead connections you are depriving yourself of a chance at a new and hopefully better relationship. It takes some strength to cut that loose and stand alone. Like any other loss you will have to grieve properly and completely. It's time you move on from the denial phase.
FA
...............................
A
female
reader, Ladyhopeful +, writes (8 October 2013):
I agree with the others.
To make it work second time round, I believe that you have to know what went wrong in the first place for it to end, otherwise you will be making the same mistakes, and not moving past that.
Don't sit around waiting for him though.
YOU are the only person who can make YOU happy, and when you are happy, you are at your very best, meaning you could win your ex back, or move on and find a new man....whatever is right for you.
Lots of luck!!
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (8 October 2013):
ANYTHING can happen. That doesn't mean you should wait for it. He left you, most likely, because he thought you were incompatible, it didn't have anything to do with the grass being greener since he started dating her two months later.
He may not be over you, some people jump into other relationships at the end of the last one because they're insecure and don't want to be alone.
I had a girlfriend, aside from my wife the love of my life, who broke up with me. I never really understood why. I had met a girl a week before and decided to ask her out. She said yes and we hit it off amazingly well. We'll, the old girlfriend started calling me when I stopped calling her. When she found out in was seeing someone else, she was desperate to get me back. I told her that since she couldn't tell me why we broke up it'd just happen again, so I said no. 10 years later she still calls me every once in awhile to see if I'll come see her.
So, it can happen. But more often than not in think it's wishful thinking.
...............................
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (8 October 2013):
 Honeypie is right it is rare but can happen, no need to give up , but you do not need to have a false hope either.
"has anyone's ex come back after appeared to have moved on?" i can say yes to that on my part, my girlfriend and i split up many years ago while we was dating. we was apart for a year and half. i thought of leaving the area several times while apart for work or military, but something kept me there. during that time apart there was a hope of getting back together, and at times it seemed like it would not happen. but it turned out good we did get back together and we have been married for thirty years now.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013): If he has moved on so fast, then it`s more a case of what`s "not" meant to be. I would move on too, if I was you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013): why would you want to go back to someone who jumps on to another one so fast? that alone should tell you everything you need to know about him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 October 2013):
 It can happen, but for it to work out again is more rare. Personally, I would sit and hold my breath for him to come to his senses and realize you were "The One."
People "move on" in different ways. Some jump head-first into a new relationship fast in the hopes that a new one will make them forget the old. Some stay in a relationship longer then they should have, because it's familiar - but they have already detached themselves long time ago. So starting up a new relationship isn't always a rebound.
How long were two together?
...............................
|
