A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been back with my girlfriend only a week after us breaking up. We broke up because I found she had been registering on dating sites. Not only that but had been engaging in explicit conversation and exchanging photos. At first she denied it but then when I told her I was leaving, she turned nasty and began to blame me for not paying her enough attention, told me it served me right, told me I had invaded her privacy and then proceeded to send me texts that taunted me over my sexual performance. After being apart just under a month, she started sending texts again. Nicer ones this time. She told me she`d had a think and realizes she had been childish. She was apologetic and begged me to come back, saying she had not been on any sites since. She even had me feeling pity for her.To cut the story, I have been back one week. Last night I thought I would surprise her with some expensive flowers. I turned up expecting a smile but she was angry. I then see a chat room type thing on her computer screen. She then yelled out that if I was more attentive she wouldnt have to keep doing it. I just walked out. Her phone has been off since and I am baffled what to do (if anything). It`s only been a week since making up. I know I will be told to just walk out but I am quite attached.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to all who offered advice. It is even more confusing now. She has text me and seems to think I have actually dumped her for no reason whatsoever. I have told her again why I have left and she doesnt reply to it or offer any explanation. It`s as if she is deaf to it. She just keeps telling me that I have really hurt her. I give up. There is a suggestion that she sounds disturbed, and I think it may be right. I think I will suffer a lot more by being with her than I would being without. I want to put it all behind me and hope I never see her or a dating site again.
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (7 December 2012):
If you want your significant other to treat you like "the best available" to her at the time, then I think you should keep seeing her.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (7 December 2012):
 Just what is it what you are quite attached to? Being cheated on, lied to or blamed? I have noticed there seems to be more and more of this type of question being asked on here. It also seems that the wounded party gets all the blame from the abuser. yes, of course you will be told to walk out. There is nowhere else for you. Unless you enjoy her treatment, that is.
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A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (7 December 2012):
It looks like this type of cheating is getting more and more common. It also seems that the reactions when caught are very similar too. You dont want to leave so what are you going to do? There is only that of getting emotionaly abused for the rest of your life left for you. She clearly doesnt care about you and never will. It doesnt look like she even knows she`s doing anything wrong. For your sake, lets hope she keeps her phone off forever.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (6 December 2012):
 Hi
Well if your attached to her and are not wanting to walk out, then you have to tolerate her abuse till she replaces you.
I think you need counselling if this unhealthy relationship is one you can put up with. She also sounds as though she is disturbed from your description.
Is this really how you think couples are?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2012): I was in a relationship with a boy who emotionally cheated on me through texting and online. Every time I caught him, he would deny it and I would forgive him because it just hurt so much to give up what we had. We were not right for each other; it took 5 years of my life to figure that out, all the while breaking up and making up constantly...you have to understand that you end up with people you're not meant to be with in order to learn and move on to find someone more compatible with you. It hurts at first, but you WILL get over it. Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (6 December 2012):
She is not attached to you in the same way you are to her. If she was, she wouldn't continue to cheat.
She is angry that you were being attentive and brought her flowers...and caught her lying to you about carrying on with others.
I do not think she will ever be satisfied with the attention you give her. She has continued to seek attention elsewhere. If you value your happiness, you should distance yourself from this woman.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2012): "We break up, we make up, but nothing has changed. What do I do about her?"
Nothing you can do other than expect more of the same: you'll break up, you'll make up, and nothing will change. She will continue to blame you for her lying and cheating and you will continue to let her walk all over you because you refuse to walk out on her.
You can't change her and you refuse to change yourself.
Definition of stupidity: repeatedly repeating the same action and expecting a different outcome every time. Unfortunately, there is no cure.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 December 2012):
 You went over to surprise her with flowers.. now that's lovely and sweet and attentive.
she got busted having chats with other men and she blamed it on you... typical cheater behavior.
You walked out... keep walking.
Exactly WHAT are you quite attached to?
to being yelled at
to being lied to?
to being cheated on?
to being abused?
to being blamed for her bad behavior?
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (6 December 2012):
 Being quite attached is no reason to be a doormat and allow her to carry on abusing you like this. I'm sorry but she is taking the piss with you, walking all over you and you are letting her.
She is clearly incapable of being faithful and she needs attention from more than one man, she will never be able to give you what you want so just let her go. I know it will be hard but unless you want to keep going round and round in circles you need to walk away.
There is far better out there for you, and you will be far more 'attached' to someone who treats you right. I know that is hard to see right now, but once you have gotten over her you will see that you are better off without her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2012): As you do not want to be told to walk out, i wont say it. Instead, stay where you are and put up with it for the rest of your life. What you see now is what you will forever get.
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