A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am having had a bad time again with my boyfriend. We have been back together after we broke up because of his online dating sites. Over the course of a year, we had argument after argument over his lies and refusal to accept that I had the right to be upset that he went on them. I have found bits suggesting that he is still on them but I cannot show the proof he keeps asking for. I have also now found out that while we were broken up, that he met a girl off one of these sites and had a short lived relationship with her. I know we were not an item within that time, but he had denied all knowledge of this dating site, and then met a girl off it, and I feel like he was lining them up while we was together and arguing over it. Have I the right to feel angry and treated like a fool? Will I ever be able to have a normal relationship with him? I feel very insecure.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2013): If you are sure he`s been on a dating site and he is aking you for proof then he is skilled at hiding his tracks. To be quite honest, asking you for proof is hideous and shows how low his opinion of you really is. You will do better. He wont. That is why he needs dating sites.
A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (9 January 2013):
A man in a relationship should not be on dating sites! it is completely wrong and it is disrespectful to the woman he is dating. The fact that he is asking you to show him proof means he knows how to hide it.It sounds like he still likes to get the attention of other girls and "keep his options open" which isn't someone anyone should be with. If he loved you then he wouldn't need the validation of other women. You should be enough. Ok if it happened just once and it was an honest "i didn't know any better" then fine but anything more than that then it should cast serious doubts over the relationship. How would he like it if you were on them?Move on lovey, sign up make your own profile and meet someone who is genuine and makes you happy.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 January 2013):
 You broke up with this guy.
He lies to you
He at minimum emotionally cheats on you
You argue with him about your RIGHTS to your FEELINGS? Of course you have the right to feel anyway you want. It may not be an accurate feeling but they are feelings after all.
He goes on dating sites.
YOU DO NOT TRUST HIM
You have every right to your feelings.
Will you ever have a normal relationship with this man? NO YOU WILL NOT
You feel very insecure and feel angry about being treated like a fool but the person you need to be angry with NOW is yourself for going back to him.
Time to leave for good.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (9 January 2013):
 Why do you need proof he is on a dating site? It is your choice to leave if he treats you badly, you are obviously not happy, do something positive for yourself.
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A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (9 January 2013):
Oh, you need to end this without further notice. Forget the long tale of what he has done and probably still is doing. He is making you unhappy and you do not want that.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 January 2013):
 WHEN are you going to dump this guy for the "FINAL" time? 'Cuz you need to do that, so's you can get on with your life.....
Goood luck...
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (9 January 2013):
 He could argue that meeting a girl when you wasnt together at the time is not your business. The truth is, the circumstances around it was a kick in the teeth. I don`t think he has much respect for you. I would dump him because he`s not someone you should be relying on. of course you will feel insecure. That is what he has made you.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 January 2013):
 Be upset as you want but also be smart and quit calling him your boyfriend. He's an ex-boyfriend that did you wrong. Get over this one and find a new one but be smarter this time.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (9 January 2013):
 The most important ingredient that binds a relationship together is trust, a relationship without trust is sure to fail sooner or later, and this relationship is seriously lacking in this department. Yes you have every right to feel upset. Even if you forgive him and start again you will always be suspecting him, doubting him, always loking over your shoulder, and thats no life for anyone. I would abolish this relationship now, the sooner the better because he clearly can't be trusted. Move on and find someone that gives you the love and respect that you so rightly deserve.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, scottmartinez2012 +, writes (9 January 2013):
 absolutely! you have the right to be angry and upset. And he checking out other girls is definitely going to make any girlfriend insecure. You should probably give him a taste of his own medicine and check out some dating websites too and probably hang out with some cool guys.. then let's see what happened next
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A
female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (9 January 2013):
 This is the start of a new year. Get rid of him and cut ALL contact. He caused you unrest and he still is causing you unrest.
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A
male
reader, somewhere_between +, writes (9 January 2013):
 Do you mean that he had been lying about being on a specific dating site, and then after breaking up he goes and meets someone off it? If so, then in your situation I would dump him. He has shown you he isnt trustworthy anyway. You dont trust him. Your life will be forever checking up on him. I cannot see how you will ever be at peace if you are with him. End it.
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