A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex ended our relationship nearly two years ago. We was together 5 years. We were both at fault, but I own up to doing a lot of bad things too. He has ignored me completely and he showed no signs of any grief or jealousy when I met someone else almost immediately.I am on my third relationship since then. I will be getting engaged in the near future and feel happy. I have now found out that he`s seeing someone, and has been for some time now. I feel overpowered by jealousy. I don`t know why, but I want him to be unhappy and for him to regret ending our relationship. I want her to hurt him, and dump him. I feel so unsettled since finding out. I don`t even think I would want to go back, so why am I feeling this way? I can`t stop thinking about what he may be doing with her, and whether he still thinks about me or not. What do I do to get through this?
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (1 August 2013):
When you met someone else basically straight after your relationship broke down. He probably never reacted to it, because it reassured him that breaking up was the best move forward. Now he has met someone. you have moved backwards. Accept what has happened, because you have no choice.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013): How do you know he hasnt had the same feelings as you? You got with someone new right after finishing. Maybe he has been through hurt and jealousy too, but he is mature enough to know that history would only repeat itself, if you got back together.You met somebody else right away after breaking up,yet you are jealous. Maybe this is why he has the good sense to stay away. Sorry, but you need to grow up.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (1 August 2013):
 that's just one of the weird quarks of human nature. we may not want our exes back, but for some reason, we want them to be miserable and miss us just for our own satisfaction.
you say you're happy and you don't want him back. so just recognize that what you're feeling is somewhat normal, and just put it out of your thoughts completely. let this be a finalization that you're both done and have moved on. ultimate closure. you'll be just fine.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013): Does your present boyfriend know about all this?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 July 2013):
 Stop being petty. YOU moved on (not once but 3 times) with other guys so why can't he? Only you are allowed to be happy?
Let it go, focus on YOUR life - who knows maybe his isn't as happy as you think it is, maybe it is, but you being petty won't make you feel happier - instead you are wasting a lot of negative energy on "wishing" him to be miserable.
Let the past stay in the past.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013): How do you know he is involved? If its facebook? Delete your reminders. If it is friends, ask them not to tell you. The less you know the better. You need to focus on your current happiness and let go of what didn't happen in the past. I have been in your situation and got back with the x only to be left alone again. It didn't work before, it probably won't work again. Think about the negative things, focus on the positives in your current life. Dont live in the past.
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