A
male
age
30-35,
*r. Bungle
writes:I am 17 and I have liked this girl for a real long time... anyway I have never been able to muster the guts to do anything, I think she does know that I like her but I am not sure. Does anyone know what I should do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 February 2009):
 Okay, so you know most of her friends, it's a small school, so everyone knows everyone else. Right, then my advice would be to start saying "hello" to her every time you see her. Just a nice, ordinary, common "hello"--nothing fancy. And be sure to smile every time, as if seeing her had brightened your whole day. After a couple of weeks, you should be comfortable enough to stop and speak to her. And it should feel natural by then for her that you would just stop and talk. Ask her a question, like "did you hear what happened in biology class?" or whatever funny gossip is going around school.
I did remember one strategy a guy from 10th grade did when I was in 9th grade. He was on his bicycle and we were outside (not together); he rode over and handed me something (I can't remember what it was) and said, "hold this for me for a minute, thanks!" and then he cycled off before I had a chance to say anything. I watched as he did a loop of the parking lot, and then he cycled back over, and reclaimed the thing he'd handed me. "Thanks a lot!" and then he cycled off. It was just funny enough and not too bizarre, and I definitely noticed him. The next time he stopped to talk, I was ready Now, that might be a risky strategy if she gets the idea that you're weird. This guy already was in the 'cool' group, so he could get away with it. It's not exactly subtle of course.
What you're going for is that she gets used to having you speak to her. Then you can move on to phase 2.
A
male
reader, lodge123  +, writes (22 February 2009):
i just wudnt get her friends involved, it complicates things.
but ye, just literally a rele simple question like
have u done that essay? or wateva can help. then at least u have talked. then next time, u can see her, u say hi. then the next time maybe u have a little discussion? or u ask her for help in a hw? so u want her email addy etc? then u 'compare' essays? then get going from there
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A
male
reader, Dr. Bungle +, writes (22 February 2009):
Dr. Bungle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAh much more helpful, uh details ok. we got the same school, it's really small so everyone knows everyone, i am friends with most of her friends, uh we have no common classes but i do see her the hall somedays. What else do you need to know?
Also i retacted my previous stamtments they were rude and insensitive, thank you all for helping me.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 February 2009):
Can you simply ask her a question about school or a class or something like that? It doesn't have to be anything earth-shattering, just a comment or question on something that's happening. You could work up to it by waving at her when you see her, smile nicely, wave (don't overdo it), and eventually, you can work up to saying "hello" to her.
Unfortunately, there's always the chance for rejection, even when you're older... it's just something that you learn to live with.
You probably don't want to get too creative with this, it can backfire. You also don't want to look like you're stalking her by staring at her all the time. That might make feel a bit creeped out.
If you know one of her friends, try to talk to that friend when you know she'll be walking past.
We don't really know enough about the situation to give you anything more than that, I'm afraid. And I do hope you can be more polite to her and avoid the sarcasm you've shown here; that's generally not a desirable trait in a boyfriend.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (22 February 2009):
 I'm not insulting you (you started being sarcastic with me first) but come on, after suggesting asking her to do something together, hanging out together, writing her a note, sending her a text or writing her an e-mail to give you an opportunity to tell her how you feel you still want more "subtle" ways?
There are none. And if you make it too subtle, she'll probably miss the point you're trying to make altogether.
Regards
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A
male
reader, lodge123 +, writes (22 February 2009):
ok mate, soz I wasnt much help before. Well we need more details I guess. Where could you possibly meet her? Anytime you could ask her to do something? Are you at the same school? Maybe sneak in a note? I need more details mate.
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A
male
reader, Dr. Bungle +, writes (22 February 2009):
Dr. Bungle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI asked this question because i thought hey someone mighty have a tactful subtle way of letting her i like her. instead you all post you should ask her out or ask her to do something. duh. i am very disappointed in this site, seemed like people here were somewhat intelligent. oh and insulting me yah your a real nice guy. thanks that was what i needed. anyone have any creative ideas, and please if your going to be a moron... i'm done ranting.
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (21 February 2009):
Well what else you going to do then?
If you're not going to grow some balls and ask her out or ask her to do something with you, then why are you hoping to do...use clairvoyancy or something?
Try writing her a note, text or e-mail or something then. Everyone can think, you have to DO.
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A
male
reader, lodge123 +, writes (21 February 2009):
To be honest mate, look at it this way. If you don't do anything you will lose her but if you do something then you might get her! It seems like a scary thing mate, I'm sure, but just think... if ANY girl in the world came up to you and asked you to have lunch or whatever with them, what would your reaction be?She's not going to scream NO in front of everyone, nothing will happen if you don't make it too obvious, just think positively, and she's not going to kill you, just remember that. Think of the aftermath - you will feel greeeeeeat!! It's just this fence you need to get over mate, you can do it!
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A
male
reader, Dr. Bungle +, writes (21 February 2009):
Dr. Bungle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionuhh... ya. that is some great advice. you don't think i've thought of that.
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (21 February 2009):
Well you don't have to go up to her professing endless love for her or anything like that...you just go up to her and ask her if she wants to do something sociable like grab some lunch or go and hang out or something. If she says yes then you can work from there...
If you don't "do anything", nothing will happen! Go and take a chance...hopefully she'll feel the same for you as you do for her!
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