A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,im abit worried about my boyfriend. He finds it very hard to get or keep an erection. He was a virgin before we got together so at first i thought it might be down to nerves, but we have been together a year now so i know that its not down to that. Plus he told me hes never nervous. He also used to smoke, but he stopped to try and help his problem, but its not helped really. I know hes not cheating on me or anythin like that. we really love each other. He says he cant figure out why he struggles to get an erection and its causes alot of arguments between us, and obviously it isent doing any gud 4 our self esteems either. Is he impotent? i didnt think a man could be impotent at a young age. He's only in his 20s. Or am i wrong? And what can we do to help? should he go the doctors? id appeciate some genuine answers please. Thanks
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erection, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ermahampton  +, writes (28 November 2012):
The National Institute of Health has estimated around 30 million men in United states are affected by Erectile dysfunction. Out of that 5% of men are between the age group of 20 to 39. Why erectile dysfunction cause in young age to know visit http://forum.internationaldrugmart.com/health-conditions-issues-f11/young-erectile-dysfunction-t4246.html
A
male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (3 November 2008):
 One reason that is possible is that your boy friend could be homersexual therfore has problems keeping his errection.
In my opinion many homersexuals live in denial over their sexuality. Its only one theory that could be possible.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): It's a vicious circle. A psychological vicious circle. He loses his erection at some point. You get disappointed and let him know that you're unsatisfied by rolling over in a huff. He worries about the next time. The worry is enough to cause problems. It happens again. He's even more worried about the next time which makes the problem even worse - and so on. It's commonly known as performance anxiety.
The best way to break this vicious circle is for you not to show disappointment. If you roll over in a huff it won't do his ego or his libido any good at all. Lay off trying to have sex for a couple of weeks and just have a naked cuddle instead. Even if he gets an erection, say you just want a cuddle this time, maybe play with it a bit but no sex unless he's really insistent. Take the pressure right off. If he loses his erection don't make a big deal of it and certainly don't show any disappointment.
Men might be regarded as the stronger sex, but when it comes to this particular problem they're as fragile as eggshells. Just remember, all you have to do is open your legs. For a man there's rather more to it than that!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008):
Have him go to his doctor to be assessed. Be supportive and remain calm and mature about this. This could be caused by a physical and/or medical problem. Check out the link below for more information:
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/mens-sexual-problems
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): I promise you its nerves. I had the same problem with my first girl. The more you pressure him, the worse the problem will get. Nothing keeps a guy from getting an erection like worrying about getting an erection. The second he stops thinking about it and just loses himself in the moment, he'll be harder than a steel beam.
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (3 November 2008):
 "struggles to get an erection" You say he's not nervous, but actually that statement implies that he is...it could be stress, if he tries to get an erection but still can't, then he is going to become a little stressed, which won't make it any easier to get an erection. Smoking is a big cause of erectile dysfunction and shouldn't be discounted as a cause...even though he is young and has since quit. I think he should go the doctor...and that doesn't mean the cure has to be drugs or something. Sometimes the cure can be as simple as regular exercises. But in the interest of his health I recommend you tell him to see a GP. The sooner he finds the cause and the cure is the sooner you can go back to enjoying a regular sex life. Take care.
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